Pick-axe Man · 5:26pm Dec 14th, 2019
So, I wrote this down a little while ago, and thought it was pretty good, so I thought I'd share it with you all. Tell me what you think in the comments.
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"You all have received the official statement regarding what occurred at Canterlot Castle late last night." Trench spoke from the podium. Dozens of newsponies sat in chairs before the stage, some flashing the occasional camera. "There have been unconfirmed reports that a mysterious blue figure appeared last night and caused damage to the magic generator stationed there."
Steve turned away from the projection of the conference going on in the other room, his gaze focusing back on the newspaper in his grip. Derpy stood next to him as she removed a bandage from his forehead, which had been covering a wound he'd received during the fight. Steve read the headline again.
"Pick-axe Man." He muttered. "That's kind of a catchy, actually. Though not entirely true since I use more than just pick-axes." Steve winced slightly as the gray mare ripped off a band-aid which had been covering part of his nose. "Still, catchy name. I like it."
Shining Armor walked over, a piece of yellow paper held in his magic aura. "Here's your alibi." He said as Steve grabbed the paper and gave it a quick look-over.
"Okay." The Crafter muttered to himself.
"You were in Manehattan, at the Silver Plaza." The unicorn continued. "We have sworn statements from several of the employees that you were there all night."
"Well, I was thinking, since we're so close, that Derpy was also with me." Steve said, glancing up at the mare as he spoke. "I mean, it makes sense."
"That's what happened." Shining Armor spoke. "Just read it word for word."
"Alright." The Crafter mumbled as he looked over the paper. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he looked at the unicorn prince. "There's nothing about Tirek here."
"That's being handled." The stallion reassured. "He was teleported. Teleportation, especially near such a large and unstable source of magic, there's... Well, there's bound to be accidents."
"Well, what about the whole cover story?" Steve pressed. "A mysterious being? Really? That seems kinda flimsy."
Shining Armor gave him a deadpan look. "This isn't my first rodeo, Mr. Steve. Just stick to the official statement and soon, this will all be behind you." Steve gave a roll of his eyes in response as he glanced won at the paper again. Shining Armor took his leave, making his way to the door. Derpy, noticing this, trotted after him, stopping him just before he left.
"Oh, Captain." The unicorn looked at her. "I just wanted to say thank you, for all you're help."
He smiled. "That's what we do. You'll be hearing from us."
"From the Secret Mons-"
"Just call us SMILE." He interrupted, giving her a quick nod before walking away.
"Right." Derpy muttered to herself. Taking a deep breath, she picked up Steve's suit shirt from a nearby chair. "Okay, let's get this show on the road." She spoke, handing the shirt to Steve, who swiftly put it on.
"You know, it's actually not that bad. Even I don't think I'm Pick-axe Man." The Crafter commented.
"You are not."
"Am so."
"Are not."
"Alright, suit yourself." Steve brushed some dandruff off his shoulder. "You know, if I was Pick-axe Man, I'd have this marefriend who knew my true identity. She'd be a wreck. She'd always be worrying about whether or not I was gonna die. But she'd also be proud of the guy that I'd become. She'd be very conflicted, which would also make her even more crazy about me." Steve cleared his throat. "Tell me, do you ever think about that night?"
She gave him a confused look. "What night? The night-"
"That we flew? Yeah, that night."
"Yes. I do." She said, looking him in the eye. After a moment, she shook her head and took a second to look over the Crafter's suit. "Will that be all, Steve?"
"Yes, that will be all, Ms. Hooves. Thank you." Sighing, Steve turned and began walking towards the door to where the conference was.
[Quick Scene Cut]
Trench was still speaking. "And now, Mr. Steve has prepared a statement. He will not be taking any questions. Thank you." With that, the gray earth stallion stepped off to the side, allowing Steve to take his place behind the podium.
"Um, so, it's been a while since I've been here in front of you all, so I think I'll just stick to the cards this time."
This roused a few scattered laughs from the crowd of reporters.
"Uh, so, there has been some speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred in Canterlot Cast-"
A reporter near the front, a pale pink mare, shot her hoof up as she interrupted. "I'm sorry Mr. Steve, but do you honestly expect us to believe that it was simply some mysterious figure that conveniently showed up at the right time?"
"I know it's confusing. It's one thing to question the official story, and it's another thing entirely to make wild accusations or insinuate that I'm a hero or something."
"I never said hero." She commented.
"I, well, that's good, because that would be absurd and," He sighed and looked down at the paper in his hands. "Awesome."
The mare quirked an eyebrow at Steve.
"Really, I'm just not the hero type, what with my many personality defects and my many mistakes and such."
Trench sighed and leaned over.
"Just stick to the paper." He whispered, to which Steve nodded.
"Yeah, got it." Sighing, he lifted the paper. "The truth is..."
He hesitated for a moment. Looking from the paper to the crowd of reporters, he gave a resigned sigh as he let the paper drop.
"I am Pick-axe Man."
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A loud bang echoed across the battle field. Steve rolled onto his stomach, his vision clear now that his helmet was gone. Looking up, he happened to spot Twilight, who had a look of realization on her face. From across the destroyed field, her gaze met his. Hesitantly, she held up one hoof.
Steve's lips formed a thin line as he gave her a single nod of understanding. This was their chance. Despite his heavily injured state, he pushed himself to his feet as his gaze locked on his opponent.
Herobrine placed the last Element of Harmony back on his gauntlet, immediately causing a surge of power to run through his body. He let out a roar.
Rushing forward, Steve clamped both of his diamond-gloved hands on the gauntlet. His gaze met Herobrine's pale white stare. He kneed Steve in the gut, but his diamond chestplate protected the Crafter from the blow. Herobrine punched forward, but Steve barely managed to catch the blow before it landed. Twisting his arm, Herobrine gave a strong push, sending the Crafter flying backwards. Steve hit the ground hard, rolling a few times before coming to a stop.
Herobrine grinned at the fallen Crafter. "It's like I told you Steve. I am, inevitable." He snapped his fingers.
But, much to the deity's obvious confusion, nothing happened. Face twisting into one of confusion, Herobrine turned his hand to see that, much to his surprise, the stones, the Elements of Harmony, were not there anymore. The god turned to look at Steve, just in time to see the Crafter jam the last Element into his diamond pick-axe. Immediately, power surged through through the crystalline tool and into Steve, nearly making him cry out in pain. Gritting his teeth, he stared Herobrine right in the eyes with a hard and determined glare.
Herobrine's jaw dropped in shock.
"And I...pant... am... pant." Steve took a deep breath. "Pick-axe Man."
Lifting the pick-axe, he slammed it into the ground with every ounce of strength he had and the world went white.
GET OFF THE STAGE!!!!
...I love it
100/10 This is amazing and you need to turn it into an actual story!
You should have thrown in a quip about Paltrow's snake oil company Goop.
that was amazing. I want more!
Briliant! Absolutely briliant!
NO SPOILERSSSSSSS!!!!
nice *slow clap* nice
5169712
Like, sarcastic slow clap or meaningful slow clap?
5169730
meaningful