Changing the first Chapter · 7:20pm Nov 30th, 2019
Hey guys.
I hope you have enjoyed the next chapter of my current story Luster Dawn Friendship Successor. Though I plan to make some major changes to it and am a little torn on how to go about it. One commenter felt it was a bit rushed and I could use more character development as well as an argument between Starlight and Sunburst, and Trixie's role as a godmare foalsitting Luster.
My two ideas are:
1. Show more of Luster's time as a baby, I've started something with that where Starlight's holding her and talking about things as well as worrying. Then she and Sunburst can go out that night to give Starlight a break from parenting and Sunburst a break from the school. Trixie foalsits Luster who causes a little trouble similar to Pumpkin cake in Baby cakes which I just watched.
2. Have Starlight take her role as a mother so seriously she doesn't let Trixie foalsit until the part where they get the acceptance letter? Trixie can tell Luster stories of how she and Starlight 'bravely" took on Chrysalis (in her little tall tales). Luster wants to be like her mother more than ever and prove herself, so she runs off to the Everfree forest to find a monster to fight?
For my characters traits I have planned:
Starlight: Overprotective mother who worries about her daughter getting in danger or becoming bad like she did.
Sunburst: Wants Luster to succeed where he failed and get into Celestia's school for Gifted Unicorns.
Luster: Wants to please her two talented parents and measure up to them.
Well what do you guys think?
Pretty solid ideas.
I like the character roles, you go with whatever plot points you want to shake things up
5162382
Thanks I'll likely add the changes at the same time I import the new chapter.
5162382
Well I redid the chapter.