300 Words, then Another 300 Words · 7:13am Nov 15th, 2012
So:
I got the middle act of In Their Highnesses' Clandestine Corps up just in time to hear from Equestria Daily about the first act. The pre-reader had some concerns about a few of the liberties I'd taken with strict English grammar, and after pointing them out quite politely, he or she informed me that I had one strike and that I should "revise wisely before resubmitting."
After giving myself a couple hours to brood about it--I always brood for a couple hours after a story bounces even when it's a non-paying market like EqD--I realized this would be a pretty easy fix, all told. The pre-reader had some nice words about the story itself, so it was just the packaging that needed tidying: reinsert a few conjunctions, eliminate colons and semi-colons wherever possible, keep things a bit more "by the book," that sorta thing. Easy peasy.
Rather than do my tinkering all over the live copy here at FiMFiction, though, I decided to paste the first act into a blank Google Doc so I can do as much monkeying there as needs to be done, resubmit that version to EqD, then if it passes muster, paste it into FiMFiction as happy as a dancing clam.
Now, I hadn't visited my little section of Google Docs in some months, so I spent some time poking around the bits and pieces of stories I'd left there in various stages of disrepair, and amongst them, I found something I'd forgotten about completely. See, back in May of 2011, EqD hosted a "300 word story event", and I'd apparently participated. The prompts, chosen at random, ended up being 1) a story about Trixie, 2) a story with a first line about a big rainstorm, or 3) both. I went with the first option, and since 300 words is too short for a proper FiMFiction entry, I'm putting it here. Just so all my Pony stuff'll be in one place.
Mike
A Mug's Game
From the top of the hill, Trixie looked down on the lights of Ponyville, the spell sphere in her bag pressing cold as ice against her. Two years waiting tables at the Canterlot University coffeehouse, two years researching at the library, experimenting, failing, starting over, and now, now at last...
At last, Twilight Sparkle would pay.
Her horn glowing, she opened her bag, raised the spell sphere, smooth and shining, and couldn't help but remember her former repertoire of crude tricks, all the flashy bang and glitz she'd learned in her uncle's carny. She was good at it, sure, and had made a decent living till--
Till her first visit to Ponyville.
The sphere's cold power caressed her senses. Two years ago, she wouldn't've been able to touch an object this powerful. But to have built it herself, to have crafted every elegant whirl, the knowledge and insight she'd gained into matter and energy, the joy at the very heart of magic itself--
Joy? When had magic ever been about joy?
As a child, certainly, traveling with her uncle, learning his spells. Before she'd outgrown his whistle-stop lifestyle and his petty ambitions. Before the arguments. Before she'd stormed off. Before--
Before everything had gone wrong, she saw suddenly. Long before she'd ever even heard of Ponyville.
Was he still alive somewhere on the back roads of Equestria?
The warmth of the town washed up the hill past the frozen perfection of the spell sphere, all lacquered anger and hate. A mug's game, her uncle would've called it. The kind no pony ever wins.
Touching a hoof to the sphere, Trixie drained it. "I've better things to do," she whispered, and turning, she set off into the night.
I like this. It does a lot of character development in its few words.
You wrote a 300 word story that says so much, so well. Thank you for posting this.
Interesting...
Dude I really like it, and in 300 words, that takes serious skill.
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Thanks, folks!
I always like a challenge, and combining a character I'd never really seen much potential in with the three hundred word restriction, well, I kind of had no choice. But now I've gotta get back to the concluding act of the whole Blueblood/James Bond thing!
Mike
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You are welcome.