Just a Thought · 6:56pm Nov 15th, 2019
So there's this documentary called "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" which is about Mr. Rogers, the mystique, philosophy, controversy and so on surrounding his life and work. I heard and read plenty enough about the man, but hearing these things retold alongside new factoids and anecdotes and instances never stops fascinating me and making me feel good about things, about the goodness that can exist in people.
Yet amidst these feelings I stop and reflect: why cannot feel this way about other people? I know that being good to others is good on so many levels, yet I still hold grudges, hesitate or outright refuse to forgive past sleights no matter how old or minor, and I isolate myself from others, preferring the solitude. It takes little time for me to switch back to my standard mode of singular thinking. I guess it's just a matter of pausing throughout the day, remembering about my hope about what good people can do just through showing empathy, and then following through on that.
There are many who say it's a passing fancy, that such things cannot be in the messed-up world of today. I even give in to the cynicism that's all the fashion in media, be it online or elsewhere. Still, if you find time to reflect and believe that there is still good happening in the world, unseen, waiting to spring up, and that you yourself can just as easily be a part of that positive coalition, I would say you would feel a whole lot less miserable than in believing that all goodness and progress has vanished, or that what little left there is is a lost cause.
It's easy to get wrapped up in disagreements, in asserting one's opinion, correcting others. Yet, what struck me in particular about that documentary, is how Rogers said that to make others feel less than yourself is the worst kind of evil.
And I do that so often. To play the part of the villain, to make light of the world, garner some laughs. Combat my insecurities, make myself feel important, over the littlest things.
"I am the tyranny of evil men... trying real hard to be the shepherd." That about sums up the conflict between my actions and my ideals, courtesy of Pulp Fiction. Although, I feel I'm not trying real hard. Just, going by. At least trying to understand what others around me are feeling or at least want, and doing what I can not to inconvenience them. My way of helping them through their day... or just an excuse to make things needlessly difficult for myself and to avoid others. No, I still believe that those instances I'm being good, or at least decent.
I think it's high time to call my sister, say hello, see how she's doing. You all have a nice one. Stay warm.
Introspection is a great thing sometimes!