Techie's SPICY Smokin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #15: [THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOR TEN SECONDS!]! · 12:03am Oct 16th, 2019
I'm writing part of this on the toilet!
Today's story continues the Techie tradition of incinerating brain cells with stupid. 
TheMajorTechie · 2k words · 43 5 · 1.2k views
And of course, the first major presence of Gamer Luna in my stories. (Though she still mainly only exists in What If as far as my stories go. :P)
Luna's ears perked up, catching the warning. Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, Luna saw bricks. Like, an entire pile of them. All falling straight towards her face.
O no.
"Not to worry, um..."
"Derpy. Derpy Hooves. But I've got a lot of other names, too, like Bubbles, Muffins..."
Still mainly call her Derpy tho.
"Watch yo head lady, or yer gonna lose it before ya even notice..."
Derpy glared at the stallion in confusion. How would she lose her head? All she did was hit in on several hanging decorations on her way towards the delivery pick-up section of the store. It's not like she broke anything yet or--
The stallion's jaw dropped in surprise as he watched the entire ceiling behind Derpy cave in from the rocking motion of the various chandeliers that Derpy had flown into.
C H A O S
towards the janitorial closet for a broom.
Gonna need a lot more than a broom for that, mister.
Luna sighed, and readjusted her headphones, preparing for her next match, when a brick suddenly crushed her tablet.
"What the--"
Is Luna mobile peasant? 'Cause I am.
"C'mon, Luna, wake up! I accidentally dropped bricks on you! GET UP!"
She proceeded to force Luna's mouth open, and stuff the muffin inside.
"There, Luna, you're not hungry anymore! Can you please help me get these bricks to the contractor now? I'm already late, and I don't wanna be fired again!"
Now imagine this scene, but it's the Lion King. Congrats, now you can't un-think it.
Luna chucked her tablet at a nearby couple who were resting in a tree's branches, and stormed off towards Canterlot Castle.
Talk about ragequit.
"TIA!" Luna hollered, slamming the door open and crushing a guard in the process, "CAN I GO CRAZY AND TRY TO OPPRESS PONYKIND AGAIN?"
Yes, but actually no.
"Luna..." she began, "one does not simply PWN noobs without getting payback.
Luna froze.
"Wait... that was you that defeated me?!"
Celestia stuck her tongue out and waved her own tablet in her sister's face.
Sibling rivalry at its finest.
Celestia swallowed the tea, and dropped the cup on the head of her nearest guard.
"Could you refill my cup?"
Pone abuse?
Princess Luna lay silently in her casket, a gentle smile on her face. Twilight stood behind the casket, a copy of the "Official Book of Equestria's Generic Religion" lay on the stand she stood at.
Yes Equestria's Generic Religion is the finest religion in Equestria.
"THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FO--"
Twilight, surprised at Luna's sudden awakening, grabbed a brick out of instinct and smashed it into the Princess's face as hard as she could.
"OW!"
Oops.
Luna counted her hooves, her tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth.
"Ehhhhh... four, no... TEN seconds! THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOR TEN SECONDS, AND YOU WILL ALL FEAR ME!!!"
Rainbow Dash leaned towards Pinkie, and whispered, "Are you sure Luna's sane?"
Pinkie shook her head, smacking Rainbow Dash with a flying brick in the process.
"Ow, Pinkie." Rainbow said, rubbing her cheek. "Where did you get a brick?!"
Pinkie shrugged, and pointed at Derpy, who was still attempting to haul a sack of bricks to the site, dropping several bricks onto the ponies below in the process.
Are you sure you're sane reading this?
"OUR SISTER SHOULD NEVER HAVE PERFORMED THE RITUAL ON YOU- YOU TRAITOR! ONCE THE NIGHT OF TEN SECONDS BEFALLS THIS LAND, YOU SHALL HANG BY YOUR TAIL!"
Child-friendly approved(?)
She whipped a brick from her mane, and charged at the mare.
"A BRICK FOR A BRI--"
Pinkie was lifted off the ground in Twilight's aura.
Call of Brick: Modern Brickfare
Ten seconds later, the sky was dark. Two princesses lay unconscious, brick marks across their faces.
Celestia sipped her tea.
Because of course.
That's all, folks!
Oh silly Techie, I was never sane to begin with