• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen February 2nd

The Bricklayer


Slow down, you're doing fine, you can't be everything you want to be, before your time... -Vienna, The Stranger: Billy Joel. (Any Pronouns)

More Blog Posts919

  • 123 weeks
    Happy New Year

    And let's make it a good one eh?

    4 comments · 381 views
  • 123 weeks
    Happy New Year

    And let's make it a good one eh?

    0 comments · 310 views
  • 131 weeks
    *eye roll*

    me checking the dislike ratio on my new story

    Glad to know bigotry is still alive and well in this fandom.

    It's glad to see some of us didn't watch the same series as I did.

    8 comments · 660 views
  • 134 weeks
    So where I've been

    Okay, uh... how do I begin this? Well, I suppose I should start with the obvious. Yes, I've been distracted. If you follow me on Archive that should be obvious. And if you don't, you totally should btw. Yes, I'm shameless.

    Read More

    1 comments · 534 views
  • 141 weeks
    Final chapter up

    Been a hell of a ride, honestly. I just apologize for dragging it on for so long.

    1 comments · 408 views
Mar
28th
2019

Fic Reviews: I Hear the Stars · 4:27pm Mar 28th, 2019

Continuing on with my new style...

EI Hear the Stars
It can be said that what Tempest’s old friends did was cruel. Contemplating everything, Tempest is left wondering if she’s really any better, and if it’s time to return home.
Whinifree · 7.9k words  ·  170  6 · 3.3k views

Okay, compared to my last review or audition really this is actually quite tame. ...Then again, anything compared to 350k words would be quite, quite tame I should think. Anyways, on with the motley.

Now, the premise of “I Hear the Stars” is quite simple really. Basically, it focuses on Tempest Shadow returning to her village to face her past and discovering much has changed since then. Now, after the movie a lot of Tempest Shadow fics -and I do mean a lot, considering every other day I saw one on the front page or so- and not all of them are good. Whether this one is one of the bad ones, well… that’s what I’m here to discern really isn’t it. Now, there will be, like always from now on three major points that I will be reviewing for this story. First point:

Story: 9/10
Already, I’m quite pleased. Seriously, I legitimately am, and considering there are a lot of hack writers all over FIMfic and beyond -please refer to Sturgeon’s Law- that’s not easy for me. Anyone who’s been on Fanfiction can know what I’m on about. But anyways, that’s neither here nor there. The story itself. Basically, Tempest knows what her friends did was cruel, but really she reasons can she even talk about cruelty considering what she’s done since then? That’s the main catalyst for her returning, really. What Tempest doesn’t expect to discover, and there are spoilers here is that one of her friends, Glitter Drops has passed away in the years since after marrying her other childhood friend. As for her parents, they’ve been worried sick and praying and hoping for Tempest/Fizzlepop’s safe return. Not sure which to call her, really. Fizzlepop is her real name, but I confess Tempest sounds much more her now, and much much cooler.

Really, words can’t actually do the story justice in just a paragraph or so, but I can elaborate more in my next point.

Characters: 9/10
Very tempted to rate this a perfect ten, actually. But seriously, there’s a good selection of characters you can relate to on various levels. Even Grubber, annoying as he is, he’s here and quite relatable. This may be me speaking, but I sorta see Grubber as Tempest’s version of Spike. Little brother, and in Tempest’s case a morality pet. Grubber here, he does want to support Tempest in a possible time of need, help her through this even if Tempest insists on this being something she has to do herself. And to be honest, it sorta is.

Spring Rain. Now he’s an important focal point of this story, being Tempest’s connection between the past and present. What’s happened since then, he’s married Glitter Drops and even had a kid with her that he named in honor of her and in repentance for his misdeeds. Sadly, as I said before Glitter has passed away -foal birth complications- since Tempest left and needless to say Tempest is quite caught off guard by this.

Now Springy, as Tempest calls him is quite beside himself with grief as you’d expect but he’s managing. It’s Tempest’s return that really throws him for a loop. From what he tells us in the story, as soon as he and his late wife realized what they did, they actually went on a very long search for Tempest, futile as it was and when Tempest actually did return he’s actually sobbing in joy and in sorrow begging for forgiveness. It’s these things that push Tempest into forgiving him and Glitter, not to mention her own cruelties being a catalyst if you will for realizing she was such an idiot for running away.

Now her parents, all they need to know is their daughter is home safe and sound, and believe you me I choked up a bit when the reunion came. I honest to god did.

My final point.

Grammer: 10/10
I’m a massive stickler for this really, a complete and utter grammar nazi even if I admit I do need Grammarly more often than not. But I’m happy to say there’s nothing in this story that really sticks out to me.

So, the final tally, and what would I recommend the author to do?

Well, Whinnifree, just keep doing what you’re doing, and as for the score…?

10/10. Would almost certainly recommend.

Comments ( 3 )

Well it was established in the show itself that ponies can and do change their names. So for all intensive purposes her name is Tempest Shadow.

5034139
Yeah, I know, but at times I think Tempest after giving up her villainous life and making amends decided to go back to her original name.

I hate to do this but

Grammer: 10/10

*grammar

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