Amigo Chapters 3 and 4. · 6:31pm Feb 16th, 2019
First, almost two years since the last update on this story. I'm worried I might give some of you a kiniption fit from the irregular regular updates. The biggest problem I had was what direction I really wanted to take this, other than just simply Grumps McGurt in Equestria. I'm good on an idea, so hopefully I'll have this story wrapped up in the next couple weeks optimisticly, or months if my alcoholism kicks my ass again.
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Why pick on Cheerilee? Because she's such a sweetheart in the show, that feel like she'd be easy to annoy and push over the edge. The idea that she's just walking around town with her groceries is a funny thing my friends grandmother would do. She'd shop at multiple stores in order to get the best deals, but she used her own walker/cart combo thingie, so she'd be walking into stores with groceries, and then buying more.
The first few times she did this, they were constantly checking her bag. After years of it, they just gave up.
Following up on Cheerilee, Earl picking on her about the education system is a thing my father does constantly. So I channeled a bit of my father into Earl.
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If you haven't picked it up yet, Earl still doesn't realize he's jumped dimentions and thinks he's in Kentucky.
So he thinks he is surrounded by a bunch of kids.
I also have no idea if Kentucky actually smells like horse shit all the time. I do know, having horses in my back yard, that horse shit doesn't really smell. Not like cow shit....
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Fluttershy's grandmother living in Fillydelphia is a reference to The Whittler, where she says the same thing.
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Flutterpriest loved the California/Californeigh pun. Earl says, at one point, Califor-ni-yay, which only backs up the pun. Feel free to use the pun, if no one else has!
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The idea Earl keeps forgetting Twilight is around is a great trope, so expect more of it.
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Now, onto chapter 4.
The beginning is kinda yucky, but having had to help take care of my grandmother, it was a thing that needed doing. My father always tells me, "The day I can't wipe my own ass, you take me out back and shoot me."
I don't intend to do that. Because the bastard will probably tape toilet paper to the handle of a plunger to wipe himself. Because that's just how he is.
Also, the old flabby mental image is not one I wish to share about...
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Earl using Twilight's head as a cane was a thing my mother would do when I was little. She's had bad knees as long as I can remember, so it was very common place to see me walking along side, her hand on my head for stability. Even as I got older, I'd just crouch lower until she got to a grocery cart.
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When I was little, I used to live in a subdivision that housed a lot of older people. I'd visit a lot of them, help them go grocery shopping, cut lawns, etc. I enjoyed it. One of the ladies, Betty, had a son and daughter. Her son, to dodge the draft during Viet Nam, became a hippy and disappeared. As far as I knew, she'd not heard from him all the way to when she passed away. She was a chain smoker for most of her life, and lived to be 98. Her appliances were stained yellow so bad, that when she bought new ones, ie fridge, dishwasher, stove/oven, microwave, toaster, and bowl mixer, she had them all custom ordered yellow.
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I have met both kinds of vetrans. Ones who love talking about their stories, others who leave it to the past. Earl is kind of a hybrid. It's not that he's gloating, but he's giving out the facts, because everyone has a right to know and understand what it's like.
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I don't know why, but I loved the idea that Earl is starting to consider all the ponies weirdly colored midgets, or kids. Somehow he's rationalized this in his mind. Guess when you're half blind, it's better that than talking ponies.
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I hate booths at resturaunts. I don't care how new they are. I don't care how roomy they are. They're miserable. I much prefer chairs at a table. Working at a airport, I hang out with a lot of older people, and they all share the same thoughts.
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My dad loves pickles. I always give him mine.
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8063 is a reference to M*A*S*H, which is the partner MASH unit to the 4077. The 4077 was always inspired by 8055, and I forget what the 8063 was based on. It was relevant because Between the four-oh-double seven and the eight-oh-sixty third, they shared supplies and surgens regularly.
I couldn't have a Korean vetran and not have a M*A*S*H reference.
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Ohhhh, the money talk. I love it, because my father grew up in the 50's and 60's, and I'd hear the terms bit, sawbuck, and double sawbuck all the time. If you're curious, an acutal "bit" is 12 1/2 cents, so two bits are 25 cents. You go from there. A sawbuck is a 10 dollar bill, and a double sawbuck is a 20 dollar bill. Personally, I also call 1 dollar bills singles, 50 dollar bills Grants, and 100 dollar bills either Benny's or Crispies. "Crispies" is usually a term for fresh, new paper bills that are clean and crisp. The only bills I ever get that are like that are 100's, so that's why I do that.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slang_terms_for_money
Scroll down to the United States, and that's all mostly accurate.
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Tipping at fast food places isn't a very common thing. However, often times, the local Burger King I frequent has a older lady, Mary, who's very nice. She always tells us "go have a seat, darlin'. I'll bring it out to ya." And she does. Then she takes our empty trays for us. Hell she's even refilled my pop! And before you leave she gives you some mints.
Needless to say, she treats it like an actual diner gig. She gets tipped, damn it.
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My favorite bar, which is local to me, Hank and Dons, on Fridays offers fresh cod and walled eye. It's always amazing. I know fast food places don't, but Equestria from time to time tends to shift away from the norm.
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As usual, thanks for reading! Any questions, or point out some errors I made, feel free to comment and show the world how much of a galloping galoot that I am.
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