Remember my Ju-On crossover? · 3:53pm Dec 4th, 2018
Since it's been so long since I cancelled it, and my interest in Ju-On has peaked again due to the reboot/remake simply called Grudge, I thought I'd share what I actually had planned for the story, the plot of the story.
First, the story's description:
In order to further her studies into ancient and modern ponylore, Twilight Sparkle is sent across the globe to Neighpon by her mentor Princess Celestia. Upon arrival, she makes friends with a shy stallion who refuse to tell her his name. A few weeks later, he goes missing, and Twilight does her best to solve the question of what has happened to him. Her only lead takes her to his former home and his ramblings about something else living with him.
Being the last pony to speak to him, Twilight has now become the prime suspect of a crime she didn't commit. And she's being haunted by something not of this world. Something that never stops.
On the other side of the globe in the center of Canterlot sits the majestic Canterlot Castle, where Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire has retired for a brief respite after the recent events that turned her life up-side-down. Her relaxing visit soon takes a turn for the worse as she starts to see and experience things that make her question her own sanity.
Here, have some fitting music:
In the first chapter of the story, we follow Shining Armor as he visits a hospital in what seems to be Neighpon, which is apparently the pony word for Japan, according to some people I talked to at the time. He is there to identify a body, but it is unlcear who the corpse is, just that Shining Armor loved her and told her not to go. From the description itself, one could surmise that the corspe is that of Twilight. Just as he's about to leave, a pressence is felt within the room, and the corpse opens its mouth and lets out a bloodcurdling groan.
That's how far I actually wrote, and as I write this I kinda want to keep writing it. But I can't, I have my book to work on. So let's just use this blog as my way of continuing and/or finishing the story. I don't have the dialouge or finer details still in my head, but I remember the overal story itself
After the first chapter, serving as a sort of prologue. the story would've cut to Twilight in Equestria as she's about to board a plane. Shining Armor and Cadence is there to, and Shining tells her not to leave, but Twilight has full confidence in Princess Celestia sending her across the globe, to study ancient pony folklore.
Upon her arrival, she's greeted by ponies that look like her, but have different eye shapes and speak a different language than her. Shouldn't come as a surprise, since Twilight is basically in Japan. I don't remember everything that would happen, but eventually she would form a sort-of friendship with a young stallion who, despite Twilight's many attempts, refuses to share his name with her. Still, they become friends, and the stallion promises he will tell her his name if she helps him with something, something that's bee bothering him for quite som time.
He feels like he's not alone in his own home. Twilight agrees, and follows him hom to his house. It's a fairly big house, with two floors and a cellar, and looks far too expensive for someone in his line of work. She jokingly asks how he could afford such a place, and he tells her that he inhereted the house from his family, but doesn't go into detail why. The moment Twilight enters the house, she feels something is wrong. She stays there for a while, eventually thinking that the house is haunted. As it is called in Japanese, she suspects a Yūrei is in the house. The stallion asks if she will spend the night at the house, since he's too afraid to be on his own. Twilight, being the caring pony she is, agrees.
That night, she sleeps in a guestoom and he in his own bedroom. Twilight has trouble sleeping, worrying that the haunting may be worse than she thought, and hopes dearly that it isn't what is called onryō, a vengeful spirit with the power to harm living ponies. As she eventually falls asleep, she has dreams about a pony hanging from a noose.
She's awakened by somepony laying down in the bed next to her. She asks who it is, half asleep, but gets no answer. As the pressence doesn't feel frightning and she's conviced it's her friend, she falls asleep yet again.
The next morning, she finds the house completely empty. Her friend is nowhere to be found. Slightly worried, she hurries to his work place, but he hasn't been there since the day before. A whole day goes by without him showing up, so Twilight goes to the police to report him missing.
At that time, the story shifts focus to Cadence in Canterlot, as she's taking a well-deserved rest from the problems of The Crystal Empire, and certain unmentioned events that changed her life. It's just her, no Twilight and no Shining. During her stay in the castle, she starts to notice odd things; objects moving on their own, doors slamming etc. Things you'd expect to see in a haunted house. She asks Celestia about it, but she just says that the castle is very old, and she wouldn't be surprised if some of it's former residents are still there.
Just like Twilight, Cadence is having nightmares about a pony hanging from a noose, but her dreams also depicts Twilight and Shining, both hung by their necks. She wakes up in a cold sweat, and swears she sees a shadow in the room, though no pony is there once she turns on the lights. She desperately hopes that it is just something brought about from the recent stress and grief she's suffered, but can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.
Back to Twilight. The following parts I never planned out completely, so I can't write them down. Basically, I had the beginning and the end planned out with some dots in the middle here and there. I had the entire plot thought it, meaning what happens, what the curse is and what caused it, and how that curse affects the characters of the story.
After being questioned by police about the dissapearance, she's led back to the house together with police offficers, and they search the house, top to bottom, but finds nothing. It is at this point that Twilight discovers a note in the kitchen, on that wasn't there before. She quickly takes it and reads it. It's a note from her friend, written hastily, adressed to her. In it, he says he will soon be gone, and since he has no other friends or family, he leaves Twilight to take care of his house. With nowhere else to go, she stays there as the officers leave, and a few days go by without nothing happening.
Then suddenly, the two police ponies that entered the house with them both go missing.
Being the last one in the house with them, the police quickly assume that Twilight has something to do with both their dissapearence and her friend being gone. She has no other choice than to escape the police, but something has happened for her as well. She begins seeing shadows and hears the sound of a swaying noose, the croaking sound that happens when I noose is swaying on a branch.
Again, I don't have everything in my head, but the story would then jump between Twilight, Cadence and Shining through the chapters, with the horror of the curse building up more and more for each character.
Eventually, all three storylines reach the end, and we get an explanation to what is going on.
It all began with a family in Neighpon. A stallion and a mare and an infant baby boy. They live a happy life, until the foal turns 18 and learns about his past. He's always had problems in school and with friends, and has been labeled as anit social and has a severe mental dissorder. It is then he discovers the truth about himself, about where he came from.
It turns out, his mother and father.. are actually siblings.
He's basically inbred. This caused his severe behaviour and condition. Unnable to cope with the truth, he kills his parents by drugging their drinks, then strining them up in nooses in the basement. Their bodies are never found, and being the only relative alive, he inherits the house. Then he meets Twilight. She's been hunted by two ghosts, a mare and a stallion, and it all began when she entered the house. Same thing happens to Cadence; two ghosts in Canterlot haunt her.
When the truth is revealed to Twilight, she tries to escape the house, and like in the American The Grudge, she tries to burn the house down, but succumbs to the flames and dies. Shining Armor then leaves from Neighpon to identify the body of his sister. He feels a pressence. And as we see in the prologue of the story, Twilight has become part of the curse herself, and Shining Armor quickly heads home with her body for a proper burial.
Upon arriving home, Shining goes missing, And Cadence retreates to Canterlot to get away from her grief of having lost both her husband and her sister-in-law. But she's haunted by two ghosts; Twilight and Shining Armor. it's then revealed that the brother and sister share something in common with the couple in Neighpon:
Twilight was pregnant as she died. The father? Shining.
Upon learning this, Cadence gives up completely, and lets the ghost cosnume her whole, becoming part of the curse as well...
So, yeah, that's it. It's not a masterpeice, but it's what I had planned to write. It's not as good as the actual Ju-On movies, I could never top them, but I tried to make it a bleak and hopeless horror story, just like the movies.
What do you think, sounds interesting? Or just dumb?
I actually can't go and read this all, because I have a different question on my mind:
Why do you not go and continue it? Since your interest has returned, this sounds like the ideal moment to kick it off again and to get this story somewhere!
4976414
I would like to, but I have to focus all my writing on my book, if I'm ever going to finish it. It's not just this story I cancelled, I did so to them all, because I'm basically done with fan fiction. I'm still on this site because I have some great friends here, and I enjoy blogging. I have three different books planned that I want to write, and I need to focus on them.
4976422
I see. Writing an own (physical) book is probably a goal every author sets themselves at some point, so I can see how your mind is somewhere else now.
But, is there a realistic chance you could return to this fic (and others) after your book(s) are published? It's impossible to tell right now how successful your books will be exactly, but maybe three published books will give you more freetime again to finish old works.
Writing a book is hard so it's good that you're focusing on that.
I wonder if there is a way to hide your story in your gallery so you don't have to worry about readers asking why it's cancelled. I can also see folks coming across this story and wanting to see what happens, but then being disappointed there's no more.
It's like Marvel doing a prequel for a char that got killed by the villain. How many folks would be interested?
The on hiatus tag would be better, but if the story is not going to be worked on for a while, it might be like giving false hope.
Pretty spooky indeed
I wonder how Spike feels about what happened to Twilight?