How to Write Big MacIntosh.

"Oh Tumbleweed!" you cry.

"How do you write Big Macintosh? You really haven't featured him as a character in any of your stories but obviously you know how to write him because you are the best at ponies."

WELL LET ME TELL YOU.

Step 1:

Drink drinks. Rural drinks. Which is to say, terrible mass-market American lagers and also maybe literal moonshine. The kind of stuff that comes in mason jars.

Step 2:

Watch this.

Step 3:

Ask yourself "Didn't Tumbleweed already use a Madness song for one of these?"

Step 4:

SHUT UP YOUR FACE MADNESS IS RAD.

Step 5:

Try not to dwell too much on the fact that Big MacIntosh was pretty much the only male pony given any lines for like all of four seasons or something. Also try not to dwell on the fact that Big MacIntosh has in turn been shipped with like every pony, including his own sisters, which is gross. FiMfiction is also gross. Turn on your Mature filter, you weirdos.

I'll probably have a new chapter of fanfic goodness out in the next few days.

Probably.

Comments

[Nopetrain]

Oh Tumbleweed!
I cry, but only when I turn off the mature filter. If only the worst they wrote was incest.

[Dracon_Pyrothayan]

Try not to dwell too much on the fact that Big MacIntosh was pretty much the only male pony given any lines for like all of four seasons or something.

Other than Mr. Cake (Season 1), Shining Armor (Season 2), and Spike...

[Lurks-no-More]

4901815
A-ha, but Spike isn't a pony!

I'd ditch the terrible mass-market American lager and go with hard cider instead.

[ShadowLDrago]

4901815

Soarin' and the Flim Flam Brothers count too.

[Eris Dis Harmonia]

I prefer to use Ball canning jars. But that's just a personal bottling preference.

[FanOfMostEverything]

4901815
Heck, even Flash Sentry got a line in the Season 4 finale.

[iisaw]

4901859
Huh. Y'know, I can't remember ever drinking any 'shine that wasn't in a Ball jar!

[Eris Dis Harmonia]

4902069
I remember a few boys that preferred Atlas jars. Couldn't bust the damn things, but you couldn't make them fit in a case good and proper.

Hells bells, they spent more on the jars than the liquor. Using sugar in the mash. Bleh.

[iisaw]

4902094
Sugar?! Heathens!

[Eris Dis Harmonia]

4902101
That's the least of their sins against corn liquor. The fact that they use bread yeast instead of proper made malt, don't use a thumper keg, use a straight coil without a slake box, burn the mash, don't bead out their product and don't filter it is far more appalling.

I can't speak for anyone else in the trade, but I prefer quality over quantity and it breaks my heart to see an art ruined by greed.

[iisaw]

4902129
There's so damn much of that attitude going around nowadays. It really is a shame. At least, you've convinced me to be deeply suspicious of any 'shine in an Atlas jar!