Firefly Part 8 finished; Five Star Service Chapter Revamp Up Next... · 5:06pm Feb 5th, 2018
Hello, Five Star Service fans. As promised, I'm going to redo the two chapters regarding the man who would become known as The Attorney near the end of the story (Parts 26 and 27) and release them as new chapters. I will not be deleting the old ones right away as that would mean I lose the comments (I haven't decided if I really want to do that) but for now I will clearly mark them as deprecated and move the author's notes up front to explain why.
The chapter where The Attorney is first introduced (Part 26) will require fewer changes and will be done first. The main issue I have there is the arguments The Attorney presented were rather weak, and I should have backed off the whole Ace Attorney-style Objections as they were too jarring for people who weren't familiar with the games. So the argument will be more conventional and the references to the games more subtle. Though hurting and out of legal practice at this point in his life, The Attorney isn't stupid and could do better in the back and forth than he did.
For Part 27, the climactic scene will be completely redone and take an entirely different angle. Looking back, this was simply not up to my usual standards, and it isn't just because of who was involved, considering I've done very well with him in pony/human scenes over in TLaTU. Quite simply, I can do better and will. And considering my history with them, these two characters deserve my best efforts more than most.
Updates will follow. I will attempt to release the first revamped this chapter this coming weekend. Be looking for them.
Best of luck.
4790029
Thanks.
4790029
Hey! The two revamped chapters have been posted (part 26 and 27). Don't know if you've read them yet, but since there has only been one comment apiece on each, I was wondering if I could at least get your opinion on how much of an improvement they are over the original?
4808533
Yeah sure, I'll give it a whirl.