The Pink Out of Space and The Symphony of Canterlot, and also Of Broken Hearts and Merciful Hooves

Hello ladies and gentlemen. My disastrous life aside, I can all sure you that I am back at it at full force! Need evidence? Behold my first possible controversial failure.

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Also behold the start of Chapter VI of the Symphony of Canterlot!

Chapter VI: Al Azif and the Hard-Boiled Warlock

The smell only got worse as we reached the end of the stairwell into the somewhat derelict Canterlot sewer system--a strange and humid mishmash of centuries-old stone brick masonry and modern machinery that was built in to meet with the current standards of sanitation. The sewers were expansive, each tunnel easily seven meters high and seven meters wide. The entire place had old mechanisms and runes built in by the original unicorn stone masons some five hundred years ago. Believe it or not, it was by order of Celestia; she considered that while Canterlot was a city built in a time of peace and was by all standards built to be impressive and impractical, a place to live well rather than defend, the nobles of the time--considering who they were--felt that it was ludicrous that the city would be built without any defenses, so as an overly elaborate insult she ordered the construction of scape entrances all around the city into the then new sewage system.

Celestia also paid the masons additional wages at the cost of the House of Platinum, the noble house that complained of the lack of defenses in the first place.

Whether that was a good move on her royal highness’ part solely depends on how much one despises the wealthy. I personally found it hilarious. As a former soldier I should object, but I feel that if any invading army had already had the gall to go through the rest of the either the west coast or the east coast, Equestria was already as good as dead anyway. Canterlot Mountain is in the spank middle of the north Equestrian continent! The amount of towns and cities that would have to be seized back then in order to replenish the resources of the invading army was no small number. Add the time on the battlefield and the resistance of the citizens themselves, and you essentially make it abundantly clear that any invading army was just better off taking the surrounding coastal cities and then demand that Equestria surrenders. The cost of time, resources, and life of the soldiers of the invading army would have potentially have cost more than the reward for such an action. Though considering that Celestia can burn down navies, and that the pegasus legions of the time could have created typhoons and thunderstorms (that would have been let loose without any control, industrial weather control was only invented a good one hundred years ago after all), that would have been unlikely.

But with the invention of large military airships, rocket packs (even if the technology was invented by an Equestrian engineer), magic syphoning field projectors, the machine gun, and chemical weapons in the last fifty years leading to the events presented here, I considered that the feat of conquering Equestria was more likely than ever at the time. If Equestria was on the bad side of a wealthy and militarily competent empire like the Russ Empire, Thule Germania, the Xing Empire, or even Nipon it was doomed. Equestria might have had the resources and scientific prowess to fight them, had the need been present. But it had a complacent population and a military that, for all intents and purposes, was considered a joke to the rest of the world. No matter how powerful and brilliant Celestia was, she was only one mare; eventually even she would fall. Celestia was a sorceress, she gave up the ax after banishing Nightmare Moon, her fighting instincts were gone. The ol’ gal was out of practice, and she never caught up with the times when it came to warfare.

So in the end, Equestria was vulnerable and too spoiled to care. Funny how the world used to be. In many ways Equestria was under completely voluntary and blissful ignorance, yet I was cursed with the truth. But I’m done wasting your time, let’s continue.

As me and Merry descended I was getting the feeling that something was waiting for me. But I had no clue on what.

“Folklore!” Merry called for me, and galloped quickly to my side.

“What’s wrong? You have been sweating bullets and it’s getting colder the further we go down. Something is bothering you.” She actually showed some concern for me, and I could tell that it was genuine. I miss her.

“Sorry, I guess the scene back there spooked me more than thought. The bodies that were torn asunder died in in less than three seconds. It’s the only explanation as to why there wasn’t much damage to the walls, and there were so few hoofsteps on the street. Whatever hit them came in like a small tornado of blades shredding them before they had a chance to know something was off.” Yes, back then I really did wonder just what could possibly do that, that quickly. But then again, a lot of things where new back then.

We finally reached the end of the stairwell into the three hundred-year-old or so enchanted iron door that was between the stairwell and the sewer.

I could sense activity through the door: four unicorns, averagely powerful, one of them with some sort of compact etherelectrical generator on his back, connected to something that I quite couldn't make out with my ether sensitivity alone.

Nevertheless I decided in using my ectoplasmic manipulation by turning the surrounding damp and foul smelling air to ectoplasm. The lock may have been good but it was hundreds of years old; I simply had to insert the ectoplasm through the keyhole and send in a bit of a magical surge to cause the lock to open. It all was in less than a minute really.

It was odd that it was locked though, but considering the evidence of an assault it’s possible that the ponies attacking made sure that no pony or creature could escape, vicious but smart. All the other entry ways from the city were probably locked as well. That caused me some concern. They weren’t going to take any prisoners, meaning that the spilling of blood was certain.

We entered with caution and with weapons at the ready; me with my Kurdish dagger and Merry with my .44 subbed revolver.

The stone tunnel’s walls were lined with steam and propane gas pipes, and pipes containing electrical wiring. It was spacious enough to trot at either of the trotways at either side of what can only be described as a large stream of crap, probably a bit over half a meter deep. The large corridor we entered in vaulted, meaning that there were buildings right above us.

Me and Merry took the trotway closest to the stairwell we’d just entered through. We maintained silence, moving in such a way as to make a minimal amount of sound. I myself was even using a dampening spell on my hooves.

Up until I saw the blatches of ether and the rippling of the sewer water. Then it started.

I couldn’t believe it--they had some of perception dampening. That was my shtick!

I telekinetically used one of my throwing knives hidden under my sleeve at his exposed throat, his perception dampening came down the moment he was going to react only for that to be stopped by having four inches of steel in his throat.

Within that second I violently launched his weapon to my direction and I telekinetically stopped it mid-flight from hitting my face.

While still keeping his weapons floating I watched as he sputtered and choked, not to mention stumbled to the other trotway. I must have hit the carotid artery because his blood was spraying everywhere in high pressure, even getting some on my face.

He twitched for about five more seconds before he finally died. I could have taken him out of his misery earlier but I wanted to see if he also had one of the creatures I had captured back in the Philharmonic Hall dwelling within him like that other bastard.

I got close and I looked him once over.

He was wearing some chest plated steel armor with small shoulder pads, and the armor was made with modern military thinking in mind, built more for practicality rather than aesthetic. It looked factory made rather than it being the work of a blacksmith, like it came straight out of an assembly line. Underneath that he was wearing a black combat uniform, completely devoid of indications of rank, unit, or country, or symbols of any kind. What it did have was pouches--quite a few actually, and what looked like some form of a double-barrel shotgun on his back and, on his left side, a holster holding a Germanian Parabellum Pistole, or P-78 for short. He was also wearing some welding goggles.

After about twenty seconds of my poking around with the corpse and telekinetically holding what appeared to be a Tinker Submachine Gun with a one hundred-round barrel magazine, Bloody Merry trotted behind me and had something ready to tell me something soon as I telekinetically threw her the Tinker Gun and she grabbed it.

“I maybe a trained assassin formerly from Albion, Folklore, but even I have to admit that was pretty brutal. Isn’t your usual modus operandi interrogating before considering whether gratuitous murder is necessary?”
I looked back at her with confusion; I thought we were on the same page about deadly force before we went down the stairwell.

“It is, but after what I went through yesterday, I think that the kill first, ask questions later is a better strategy to utilize here. I thought you were fine with that.”

She sighed for a second, blowing another puff of cigarette smoke, probably remembering her own words up until we came here.

“I did, but I didn’t expect our enemy to be so much like us, or to be pink. His build also seems familiar.”

It was true; his fur was pink and his hair blond. His build reminded ms of the Royal Guards’. The implications for that would be nasty, and I prefered for her to focus so I said, “Best not to think about it. Four more are coming, get ready.”

I wasn’t lying though; I had been keeping my mind’s eye on them since we entered the sewer system.

Four more came from the end of the tunnel turning towards us from the right. One of them had the ether of a sorcerer like myself. The rest were only armed much the same way as the one I allowed to rapidly bleed to death a moment ago.

I activated my ‘trinket’ and became enveloped in a perception dampening field. I galloped forward with utmost haste, using my telekinetic abilities to both avoid slipping in the wet trotway.

They spread in formation as if they were making a shield wall like the Royal Guard instead of taking cover behind the the corners of the tunnel. The apparent sorcerer started charging a spell, but before he could finish I pulled out the weapon that I picked up from the carnage we saw back in “Corpse Alley” and pulled the trigger. There was a bolt of raw lighting that hit his head and then he exploded in charred gore and cloth, his armor being left seemingly intact as it spread due to the explosion.

That all took place within a second.

My perception dampening ‘Trinket’ was still activated, so I jumped back, the boiling blood I had just spilled, splattered over the other three, distracting them and causing them to panic and scream one of them firing his Tinker sub-machinegun erratically from his right to upward part of the tunnel puncturing some of the gas pipes. Merry gave suppressing fire with the Tinker I passed her while she was standing on her back legs and firing with her forehooves, killing two with a hail of bullets that impacted them resulting in blood splatter emitting from their bodies, their chest armor being penetrated, as it to me it seemed that it was made with a different purpose than protecting someone against gun fire.

The last stallion of the group tried to arm his own exotic looking weapon, he had sort of compact etherelectrical generator on his back, the same one I sensed before entering this place. He trotted right into the unseen but very much smelled cloud of propane gas that was being emitted from the bullet holes in the gas pipeline.

I pyrokinetically sparked the gas that promptly set him on fire.

He promptly began to flay around in agony, screaming bloody murder in ways that can only be perceived as being in the edge of sheol itself.
Of course, he then dived into the sewer water, and promptly began to get up. The shock of the whole ordeal should have been enough to kill him, the sudden increase in temperature, the cooking of flesh, and the sudden drop would be too much to handle even for an earthen, much less a unicorn.
As he managed to stand up in all fours I promptly shot him twice with the P-78 in the horn, and in the left frontal lobe, killing him instantly and ending his misery. I heard Merry take off the belt of her black trench coat and used it to tie the Tinker sub-machine gun to her back. As a result I deactivated my perception dampening ‘trinket’, and we both galloped forward and then we turned right.

We ran into a line of more of the soldiers, they all had Tinker’s and opened fire. If we had really just done that we would have both died then and there. But that is what they saw.

I will update "Of Broken Hearts and Merciful Hooves" at the same time as I update The Symphony of Canterlot, I promise.