Fermi Paradox · 5:03am Jan 24th, 2018
Isn't really a paradox, but that's what everyone knows it as. In my humble opinion, the aliens don't want to contact us because they're afraid that we'd be too boring. I imagine that once you've conquered your planet, your own genetics, and crawled your way up to 2 on the Kardashev Scale, you might get a bit bored with things.
Therefore I propose, before this century is out, that our great planet should build a series of large space telescopes, and at least one great big honkin' railgun, and then proceed to detonate several Kuiper Belt Objects of Minor Planet size, which we will record at a safe distance with our space telescopes. The X-rays from these events, along with us transmitting the produced and edited visuals (with appropriate heavy metal music in the background) ought to get some alien attention, if only for them to go "what the devil are you on about? You bloody crazy anthropods." Yes, in my mind aliens are British. Because it's funnier that way. I mean, c'mon, what could be sillier than a pair of horse-sized space slugs going on about tea and one of them being an utter fop about everything? Blackadder with aliens, basically.
The things you come up with when you're sick. Anyway, just a message that I'm not dead, and me wondering why some of my stories got some spikes in watchers recently. Also the detonating minor planets thing. I want humanity to climb the Kardashev Scale just so that our fireworks make ever bigger booms. I want us to be the freakin' Orks. More dakka, more boom, just for their own sake. But we shall do it responsibly; no hurting other sapient species. Make sure the blast zone is clear before we use some kind of doomsday device to set Betelgeuse off for the Year 40,000 celebration. DEN WE 'AVE A GOOD FIGHT YA GROTS.
Humanity's Hat is that we're all freakin' insane.
And have a little snippit of a future update since you were paitient enough to read this drivel:
“Are you sure it's safe to leave me with that Pink Demon?” Lyra asked, as she finally turned her gaze to the candy-maker.
Bonbon frowned at the unicorn. “Pinkie's crazy and doesn't make sense in any known system of physics, but she'd never hurt anypony unless they were a threat. So you'll be fine so long as you don't try to throw her into a cage or something.”
“I'm not sure I could even do anything to her,” Lyra breathed, and then shook her head. “I'm scared she's going to tunnel into a lower energy state and bring the universe with her.”
I wan't some of whatever medication it is that you're on.
I am just super frakin' happy about this whole thing!
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I'm not taking any medication, yet. Well, aside from ibuprofen. Hopefully it won't get so bad that I'll need anything stronger, but we'll see.
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Have something that makes me smile every time I hear it, then:
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So. Much. YES!
Good thing you're still here. Please don't rush anything. You have 15 months until I'm back at a place with real internet..
Now get better.
We might be boring , heh? I'll play along.
If I were to believe this, then maybe they just observe us for their own amusement.