Random Feels Post · 1:24am Oct 22nd, 2017
I've had a weird day, and I don't really have anyone to talk to IRL, so I'm gonna scream into the pillow that is my FiMFic blog.
Work is still progressing, slowly, on full-length Celestia XVII. This thing's a monster; at present, it's 140 pages on GDocs, enough to where GDocs starts having trouble with it. I'm starting to edit it now, and, now, I'm spitballing that it will be ready in early November (Just in case you're a new follower: I finish and polish my fics before I ever start posting. Basically: I'm an obsessive perfectionist, and waiting until I'm ready to send it out the door gives me a little more freedom while editing. Plus, leads to a better experience for you guys).
I'm gonna be honest, I've... been struggling lately. I've just moved across the country for school, and have yet to find my IRL niche. This has been a big problem for me.
Parts of my struggle include this story. I've noticed that, more than normal, my protagonist reflects my state of mind: spoiler alert, teenage Celestia is struggling to adjust after her best friend moves away, is lacking in self-confidence, and isn't sure what her purpose in life is supposed to be (after all, Unicorn cutie marks, including hers, are nearly always abstract and unclear. Lucky earth ponies...).
Writing this story has been helpful. It's not whiny, per se, but telling a story about somepony who (spoiler) gets her head on straight in the end has been... good, I think.
However, I've also been wrestling with the same question as last time we had this discussion: that is, whether I should drop what I've been doing to focus on my "real" writing (among others: the humanized Whiskey Tango Foxtrot I've been promising myself for a year-and-a-half).
I wanted to let you know that I've decided, at least provisionally, to keep writing ponyfic. Whether that means I stop after Celestia XVII, or keep on writing, I don't quite know. But I do know that, when I'm having one of my Bad Days, that writing about ponies helps. That I don't need to worry so much about worldbuilding, or character design, or in-world history--and where I know that someone (namely, y'all) is gonna want to read it at the end of the day.
I don't know quite how to finish this. As I said, it's been a weird day. I guess this is half a cry for help, and half a progress update, and half "Thank You." Having this community--and having you as an audience--is helping one lonely college student, at the very least.
Signing off.
Edited to add: Best Pony Tax.
Also, for my long-time followers: Assuming I don't drop off the face of the earth after this next fic, any thoughts on what I should write next? WTF and For The Good Of Equestria are still off the table at the moment, but I've posted enough ideas, scraps, and promised sequels on this blog that there are a few options available, at least.
It'd be best to focus on your major projects before planning sequels and new things if you're having a rough time. Working through things bit by bit should get you somewhere in the end, and above everything else, write the idea you want to write most.
I find it utterly fascinating that there are authors who write things that DON'T reflect their state of mind.
It's nice when I pick up the book of an author I've listened to talk in real life and see that they've managed to compress their entire personality into a book (usually without themselves realizing it).
As far as Pony vs. NonPony. What gets you TO WRITE? If the alternative is not writing at all, please write pony. At least then you're increasing your skills and can feel more confident, which prepares for further writing in the future. If your ideas are non-pony, great!
Go off and write about different aspects of your own personality interacting under layers and layers of obscurity to the point that no one notices all the characters are actually you.
Sorry you're going through a hard time, man.