Two Background Ponies Quickie: "Once Upon a Zeppelin" Aftermath · 1:23am Oct 9th, 2017
Somewhere over the waters of the Celestial Sea, a lone airshift slowly drifted along, blown about by the wind. On board the deck of the ship were an assortment of sick and half-dead ponies. While some of them were seriously ill, and looked on the verge of death, everyone looked dirty, tired, dehydrated, and emaciated. Among the few that could still move, one of them, a gold earth pony mare, vainly went about caring for those who were especially sick.
Sprawled out in a lounge chair among them, breathing slowly, unshaven, and gasping slowly, was a blue stallion with a deformed potato for a Cutie Mark. Letting out a groan, he slowly rolled his head up and lolled his eyes around to see a haggard-looking notebook with a pencil nearby. Using the bulk of his strength, he rolled up enough to grab it and put the pencil in his teeth. Flipping to a new page, he began to write in it.
Day 48 since our nightmare of a cruise began... In retrospect, it was a terrible idea to gang up on our captain and cause him to abandon ship, as we realized too late no one else knew how to fly an airship... Of course, by the time we realized this, we also realized that Prince Shining Armor's "seasickness" was really a case of cholera, and it soon spread like wildfire and incapacitated most of the passengers...
Now we find ourselves helplessly adrift, our airship having gone right over Fillydelphia into the ocean... What few pegasi among us can fly are unable to find land before needing to return to the airship... We are unable to land with magic thanks to the air bag being filled with highly combustible and non-EPA regulation hydrogen gas...
The only food left is dried out complimentary peanuts...the last of the water gave out this morning... The most severely ill won't last the night... My only solace is that Carl isn't here to state the obvious about how this is the second time in recent history Princess Cadance has proved useless toward saving us... Our only hope now is a miracle...
Dropping his pencil weakly, the blue stallion gave a hopeless sigh and leaned back in his seat, wondering if this was the end. Yet as he leaned back and winced in the sun, a shadow suddenly came over it. He blinked twice, then weakly leaned up along with several other crew members. Soon after, they managed to see what it was in spite of weakness...another airship incoming.
Blinking in disbelief, Sam began to call out hoarsely. "Dawn...Dawn!"
"Not now, Sam... I'm trying to see if I can remember that Whinnypedia article about how you can filter urine..."
"Dawn...it's another ship!"
She looked up at that. More of the passengers began to look up as well. Sure enough, an airship was coming in and pulling in alongside.
"We're saved!" One passenger cried.
"Praise Celestia!"
"You think they have antibiotics?" A certain stallion called out holding up a bandaged hoof that had clearly grown infected.
The ship finished docking, and a gangplank was deployed. Moments later, figures began to come across, who the group couldn't see that well due to malnutrition and the position of the sun. Yet on the last length, they sprang across and on board the ship, revealing themselves in all of their glory: five bird-like pirates brandishing weapons and crying out boldly.
Sam smiled weakly. "Oh great! We're in luck! It's Captain Celaeno!"
The rest of the passengers gave weak cheers.
The white-colored captain and her crew paused, looking back rather curiously at this reception. Soon after, the ponies began to crawl forward.
"Oh, captain...thank Celestia it's you..." The blue stallion gasped. "I was afraid we'd run into hostile griffons or dragons, but it's you!"
She looked down at him curiously. "Um...come again?"
"It's you! The hero who helped save Equestria!" Another pony cried.
"And you're here to save us!" Another yelled.
"Hooray!"
"Hey..." Dawn weakly called out to them. "Do you have any extra water you can spare right now? Some of these ponies are badly dehydrated..."
The pirates looked at each other uneasily. They slowly lowered their weapons as they looked at the happy, near-death ponies. After a while, the white bird moistened her bill. "Um...yes, about that... Oh...what is the best way to phrase this...?"
She sighed, putting away her sword and getting down on one knee to get closer to Sam.
"You see, um...uh..."
The blue stallion slowly blinked. "...Sam Listens-to-Carl's-Problems."
"Sam Listens-to-Carl's...ugh, Sam. You see, here's the thing." She began to hold up her wing digits. "A lot of people have a misconception about pirates and piracy in general. You can blame popular fiction and the media for that. They seem to think that pirates are just big, adventurous swashbucklers who go about on great quests and relish in the freedom of the seas...air, in our case."
The smiles of the ponies gradually began to fade.
"The truth of the matter is, well...pirates are nothing more than glorified robbers. We don't really just wave swords around and go yo-ho-ho and look for buried treasure; we look for weak and/or defenseless ships, we attack them, we board them, and then we take everything of value and leave whatever smoldering ruins are behind. That's how you get by as a pirate. It really isn't even that lucrative, really. Most of us are usually poor unless you get hired as a privateer, but that's a lot of regulatory oversight and...well...I did propose the idea to Princess Celestia but she said she'd have to get back to me once they reevaluate Equestrian Maritime Law. For now we're still independently operating pirates and, well..."
She gave an uneasy shrug.
"Sorry, but...your ship is far too tempting a target. What with you all handicapped by illness and everything."
The ponies were devastated and looked to her helplessly.
"So...you're just going to rob us blind and then...leave us to die?"
"Oh, no! No, no, no! Of course not!" Celeano answered as she quickly rose, drawing her sword again. "I never leave survivors."
Huh. I figured the goats got them back to port. Someone had to steer the ship while Iron Will was negotiating that contract. (That or Twilight read a book on the subject once. Or just used telekinesis. If she could lift an Ursa as a unicorn...)
Still, nice two-for-one.
4691857
Yeah, that's why I had the outbreak spread to Shining Armor's immediate family first...because sometimes you shouldn't hang out with family on a trip. That's also why I threw in that stuff about magic setting off the hydrogen gas.
What the actual fuck
4706287
Yeah..."The Sweet Spot" may have been show-appropriate. Sam and Carl are not by any stretch of the imagination. And many of them do end up being dark humor.
4706295
I still say you could probably get away with publishing most of these as independent short stories; ones like this for example obviously have plenty enough to do with the show to pass moderation.