Screwed Up Again! · 11:50pm Sep 15th, 2017
So, it would seem the friendship I tried to make between me and the boy I used to like is officially over.
Today we had a huge fight. I mentioned how he's constantly posting stuff about him working out, and how annoying it is. Well I ended up confronting him about it. I left a scripture on his latest post, and he deleted almost right after. I texted him and told him I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I was merely concerned for him and trying to help. He threw a scripture at me which talked about bskng judgmental. So he basically called me judgmental for trying to help. He said I should just unfollow him if it bothered me so. And eventually blocked me on his fitness account.
It turned into a massive argument between us. Mainly me raging at him. But in the end we both kind of calmed down it seemed pkje everything was over. So it was right?
Nope! I made another huge mistake. I started venting to a friend of mine about what happened. She asked if usually posted pics of himself working out. So I went to send her a few.
I sent them to him.
I almost had a heart attack. I'm shaking now just thinking about it. I immediately apologized and realized how bad it looked. He agreed and demanded to know who I was gonna send the pics to. I was honest with him and sincerely apologized. He said it was extremely sketchy, but he seemed to let it go after that. I honestly think he wanted the day of drama to end just as much as I did. But it still scares me. Because he could get me in serious trouble for that. I doubt he will, but who knows?
As my dad suggested, I think it best to never speak with him again. At least not for a really long time. We both need space from each other, and we're obviously never gonna be friends at this point. I ruined everything. All over again. Just like I always do.
I can't make friendships. I can only destroy them. At this point, I just wish my life was over. I just wish I could forget anything and everything. I just want it all to end. I'm never gonna be a friend to anybody. I'll only ever hurt them or insult them. Even if I'm just trying to help.
Because just like my entire life, I'm a screw up. All I can do is ruin the things I try to create. What I build up, I tear down.
I hate everything. But most of all, I hate myself.
Please don't hate yourself. So you made a mistake? So what?! Lots of people make (what they consider) huge mistakes! It's purely human nature to do. I get it on the whole needing space from your friend til things cool down. I do. But please don't beat yourself up about it.
4669639
How can I not!? I told myself this was gonna end up like all the other times. It did! Except worse! Every time I try to make friends something like this happens. And I look bad afterwards. I just honestly wish it would all end.
If we did everything right, how would we know if we did anything wrong?
In all honesty, I felt as you did when I was young, it is part of growing up, you are not doing anything wrong, you are just being normal, like everyone else, never stop trying to make friends.
4669643 Don't Say That!! Believe me, I've been in your place and it will end! But not by the way you think. We all have our demons and we constantly fight with them. I get it, you simply made a mistake in words and it came back to bite you in the ass. That happens to ALL of us from time to time. Why, it happened to me just about a month ago. I said something slick to my now ex-lover and he got pissed. We argued for (literally) a solid week before deciding we needed space. So we did give each other space for a bit. Same goes for friends, I remember a time when I was a little younger and my old friend and I had a huge falling out at her birthday party. Mind you I said old as in we haven't seen or spoken to one another in over 8 years. Trust me, she was mai best friend for many years too! Just one petty argument ruined an amazing relationship. Don't end up like me and my old friend. Give him space. Get yourself together and above all...eventually try to resolve it!
*hugs* Don't let it bother you too much, while your dad is right and the two of you could use a bit of space. That doesn't mean that your friendship is over, just give him a few days and then see how he's doing after all that time. And let's be honest, you have friends on here who love you for who you are.
4669654
Sorry that happened to you. But I did unfollow him. Cause honestly right now it's for the better. I'm just not gonna talk to him for a long time. Hopefully by the the whole thing can be over. For good. But I honestly don't see much hope.
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I unfollowed him so it's gonna be a lot longer than a few days. It needs to be. Just a few days isn't gonna fix anything. Like it'll be fixed that is.
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It sure doesn't feel like it. Feels like I'm the only one who does stuff like this. And who suffers so bad for it.
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Well the few days was never meant to fix anything, it was intended to give both you and him some time to calm down and cool your heads. Allowing both of you the chance to come back and talk it out calmly.
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I suppose so yeah. My dad said it wouldn't take too long. He said it'd probably just be a couple weeks.
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I'd expect it taking that long to mend and repair of the two of you were set on fixing anything. But the question comes down to if either of you want to, if even one of you doesn't want to fix your relationship then the efforts are pointless.
4669785
I know. If he doesn't care to we won't be able to be friends ever again.
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*hugs* Then it's his loss for not taking the time to really get to know how wonderful you are.
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Yeah sure
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Believe me, you are a wonderful person and anyone who gets to know you will be lucky that you are in their life.
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I highly doubt that. But whatever you say.
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What makes you doubt that you are a wonderful person?
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Uh, cause of all the times I've failed to be such.
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It's how life works, you try and make a mistake but you learn from it. You only fail of you choose not to learn from your mistakes. Just hang in there and do your best, learn from your mistakes an you'll be the wonderful person I know you can be.