Return Blog, And Some Clarifications. · 8:53am Jul 8th, 2017
Okay, I'm writing the first version of this on the 22nd of June, the day after I had a talk with my family, which was right after I got some news, been editing it as I go along over the course of a few weeks, up to now. Those of you not interested in personal stuff or non-pony stuff, here's the short version:
I am returning, and resuming writing on the stories I promised. My withdrawal from the Scootaloo Fiction Contest, however, I am not taking back. I did that assuming I wouldn't be coming back soon, it wouldn't have been fair to the other contestants or the hosts if I'd be gone by the time judging was done. And, given that, it would certainly be unfair to go back on it. So whoever won: congrats.
Anyway, what happened? Why the sudden departure in the midst of blogs about job interviews? Well, the long and short of it is: I fucked up. I went to a job interview expecting a level 2 computer test, and instead I got a level 3 test, which was an interview. Wasn't even 2 and 3, mind you, the difference in notification was on something like test "2.a" versus "2.b". There weren't enough contestants for the position I was applying for, so the second level test was cancelled. This was the first time that's happened, after eight attempts. I never even saw it coming.
So I went to a job interview unshaven, with messy hair, and wearing a black 'Lone Wolf' T-shirt, with zero preparation of the subject matter.
It went about as well as you'd think. Especially painful, considering this was one of those jobs I actually wanted. It involved computer stuff. They found out pretty quickly I was, in fact, not that well-versed in computer stuff.
There were a few words when I got home, and one of the recurring phrases I've heard from my family got uttered once again. That I shouldn't be doing this or that; I should be looking for a job. So I did just that: cut away as many distractions as I could. That's the part you saw.
So what's changed? I got my results from that interview the other day. You wanna guess what my score was?
Same as all the other interviews so far.
No, I still do not have a job at the time of writing. I did another interview for a position at the railroads, they said I was probably qualified, but they didn't think the job was right for me. Go figure. That's not the point. The point is that I went in to this earlier interview with zero preparation, poor appearance, and I failed by exactly the same margin as I've failed other interviews, where I put on my best suit, studied the necessary facts, and managed to perform to some degree. So it's true what the website says: they really do just care about your motivation first, skills second. It is, honestly, more about whom you know than what you know in this day and age. Did I mention it's all government positions yet? Pretty sure I've mentioned that before.
After that, I'm being the good son again, no distractions. Occasional games, but not many, and not that much, compared to before. No Blender, no Inkscape, no writing (as far as they know), nothing. After I get the result, I'm lazing about and a talk happens. I bring up the fact that I removed my Steam games, and I'm asked why I did that. Because my mom was in the room when that happened; she saw me do it, and she saw what I was posting in that blog. Only time she's seen that, even, I don't think she even knows my username here. But, anyway, I tell the truth: I did that because I kept getting told to. But wait, I should keep mentioning at interviews that I know Blender and such, because it's a good skill and it shows ability to learn. Yeah, okay, but at the same time... I quit, because I was told to. Simple enough concept to understand. At which point some points got conceded that I won't plaster onto a public forum. Suffice to say the heart's in the right place, the expertise is not. Typical parent stuff, does not change when you get older, at all.
I have been writing since, I've identified a few core problems in my workflow, most notably my inability to keep writing after I finish a scene and how I'm going to manage my own schedule while living in the same house as two pensioners. I still can't write to a deadline or keep a consistent schedule, and that's a problem, majorly. Not sure how I'll fix that at the moment, but some ideas have popped up. I did manage to get my first paycheck before my thirtieth birthday, so I'm not a complete loser... well, paycheck, it was more of a tip for helping my neighbour with her computer connection. She insisted on paying, despite knowing I happily do it and have done so and will continue to do so. But try arguing that point. Also, family drama, yay. Not in my immediate family, but closer to home than I'd like.
And as if that's not enough, my darling gaming laptop is going through puberty, as evidenced by its dropping voice. Yeah, it's started to get this rattle sound going close to its third purchase anniversary. Well, rattling... pretty sure it's the hard drive, or rather the drive's fans. It sounds like our current (old) family desktop, kind of like a buzzing lightbulb, but slower and lower. So I am careful to back things up now as well as keeping an eye out for desktops that are more powerful and easier to clean. This thing's probably got another year or two in it, I'm sure, and once I have its successor ready I'll just put this thing out to stud, which is computer lingo for 'Uninstall everything, toss Ubuntu on it, use as a render farm.' I know, I know, just clean out the fans with some compressed air. I do intend to do that, but not without knowing I have a back-up. I can't risk it, I'm terrified to touch this thing after what happened last time I tried to clean my hardware. This is the most expensive thing I own right now, the most valuable. Like, one tenth of what I am worth is in this thing. And I have no income, so getting something new will eat into my reserves even more. It's basically the first thing I got as an adult. This thing is to me what cars are to normal people. I'm not even sure if the noise is new or if now I'm just so anxious I'm starting to get paranoid. I'm listening for that noise now, and I can't tell if it's a normal one I didn't notice before.
Seriously, kids: never buy a gaming laptop. Get a desktop for work and games, one you can open up. Save laptops for light stuff only, or for render farming.
Anyway, that ramble aside, the novel has seen some slow but significant progress, mostly doodling scenes that needed to be added or redone. The unicorn colt now has his own little proper subplot that'll let me introduce all the reindeer kids more organically, the antagonist is reworked, the history has been fleshed out, all that good stuff. The demo chapter is mostly worldbuilding, because there's a lot to go over on one hand and it still needs editing on the other. I know where the problem areas are in that opening, but I can't go and fix it before finishing the next draft. Not much work in Blender or Inkscape, though I have gotten some colour on my reindeer 
, and I've looked into how to make furry models actually... well, furry. No actual work on that, though, just research, and no pony fics as of yet. I intend to start on the Orphanhooves thing the week after my birthday, so starting either Monday or next weekend. How and when, that's an iffy question.
I want to try and write like a professional, you see, at least in terms of quantity. Amazon is a numbers game, and a harder one than FimFiction, I imagine, but it's still one that's playable. I want to at least try and do original stuff in the midst of job searching. Each of the reindeer child side characters will get their own short story eventually, on top of the series I've got planned. Nothing concrete for the longer term yet, though. I've heard from someone on the forums that professionals will release a short story per month and a novel per year, which leads me to guess six short episodes per six months is my end goal. Which is counting the time it takes to make cover art. And I intend to do this while maintaining the same uploading frequency for pony fics. Probably not going to be able to manage that, but hey, it's something to work towards. I'm not saying I need to sacrifice pony for work, I'm saying I need to work, and writing pony fics still falls under 'hobby'.
As for the art side of things? I honestly still do not know. I'd like to make some models, finish up that ungulate rig I started on for the reindeer. I had some ideas for more Synfig puppets, also mostly ungulate-based. But I'm still somewhat lost in that department, not so much not knowing how to do things but not knowing what to do as long as I don't have my own income. The idea of getting into the furry art scene, after looking at commission prices, doesn't look all that good, but I'd need to make some bodies and backgrounds all the way to final renders before I can rule it out. Hell, I've never even made a full picture to begin with 
. Going my own way still does not look financially feasible, the job thing is as big a question mark as it was before.
But I am at least left to deal with that with one less mixed message. One of the hurdles in fixing the problems is gone, even if the problems themselves remain as present as ever.
So I am back, more pony stories will follow, and I'll keep you informed if and when I have some new projects to share, be they pony, non-pony, or pony-ish.
I'm gonna see how I can have some fun today. 30 years feels like a mixed bag, to tell you the truth. But much like last year, the TV stations have had an oddly appropriate selection: the first Librarian movie for days ago, and today Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, which starts out with a birthday party.
Well, regardless of the Universe's messages, have a good one.
Cracker out.
Ain't that the truth. I built a gaming desktop for half of what a gaming laptop cost me years ago, and it's going to last three times as long. I just keep the laptop around to binge eqd every few weeks.
Getting the same result from a different approach to interviewing is annoying as hell. I had three last week and when they took me to lunch they asked "how is it going so far?" Pff, like I can tell at this point.. One even asked how I thought I did at the end, just before he told me I didn't get the job. Like, wtf would he have said If I said I thought I did great.
4597474
I know, right? For me at the railroads, they asked "What kind of picture do you think came out of the personality test we had you do?"
Err... same as the one I did on the side, that didn't hide my results.