need some help · 2:28pm Jul 1st, 2017
This is the third time I have sak for help, this time is for my new story Star Bolts. Apparently someone dosen't like my long description of the story so I was hoping to have some help when it comes to that.
Here's that old one;
Two months after Canterlot was attack the ponies of Equestria they thought that they were safe, but they were wrong. A new threat called the Shadowbolts are theorize Equestria. When the ponies of Equestria turne to their leader Celestia but the only answer they get is; everything is fine, there are no threat to Equestria. When Celestia won't do anything who can save Equestria from the Shadowbolts?
Now here's the new one I wrote today;
What define a hero? Is it bravely? Heroism? Or is just stupidity? Those thought went through Falco’s mind when he flew his Arwing into Andross ship when he sacrifices himself to saved Equestria. For six weeks, the ponies of Equestria didn’t know who save them. All they got was that an act of good that save them. When a new threat as arrived and the royal guards a powerless and princess Celestia won’t do anything to stop this new threat, the Shadowbolts. Who can?
My question is; which should I chose? The old one or the new one.
I admit that the old on is pretty bad and the new one is better, but I want to know what you guys think. Let me know in the comments below.
To be honest, I think there's nothing wrong with the old one, but the new one is defiantly an improvement. Also, just because someone doesn't like your description doesn't mean you have to change it. But anyway, if I had to choose a description probably the new one.
The New one.
I say the new one as well. also I need to get ready for 4th of July (independence Day) coming up in a few days. just don't let one or two users bother you with negative things. they do that to newbies and certain writers.