Random Ramblings CXLIII - P.D.P 3

IN WHICH THINGS TURN WEIRD
This is the third in a six-part series. Here's Part 1, wherein may be found links to all other parts because I'm way too lazy to cross-link everything right now.

So I had to do some adulting today. I'm not going to go into details, but suffice to say I feel somewhat accomplished. Yesterday, a reader tried to give me a pick-me-up over my despondence over the (lack of) reception to my latest Sunset story, which I was thankful for. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to talk about my mythical Pinkamena fanfic from 3½ years ago. Here's the synopsis for Part III, which hopefully won't be as tedious to read as the first two (three?) blogposts. Follow me past the jump for the insanity.

According to my files, I started writing Part III of this busted epic in late-August 2013, about a month after starting Part II (which I distinctly remember tweaking a fair bit; also I staffed/vended at an anime convention during its conception). Starting here, parts get shorter — this one is just under 15,000 words — but I also started writing spin-off stories that expanded on characters who showed up in the parts. The one for this part is only 2,000 words and was more for my benefit and not really for public consumption.

I had actually intended Part III to be the end, as you'll see at the end of this synopsis, but I realized that I had inadvertently created more story to tell — it was actually meant to play out in a way not unlike what I did over the past two years with Sunset's Recovery Arc, of which I am fairly proud. Anyway, I've held it off long enough. Here we go.

---

P.D.P -- Part III
Twilight reluctantly agreed to "fix" Pinkamena's busted brain, and hooked her up to the same machine Ponk had used on herself five years earlier, but quickly realized she didn't have a damn clue how the thing worked. Still, she was able to use her magic on the thing to create what amounted to a rudimentary PET or CAT scan (not sure which is more correct, sorry). Here's an excerpt.

Once Twilight had those in place, the larger computer screen nearby began to show a remarkably detailed three-dimensional picture of Pinkamena’s brain.

Of course Twilight had learned about equine brains long ago as part of her studies, so seeing one in the flesh was nothing new to her. What was new was the sight of a strange series of disruptions on Pinkamena’s medial temporal cortex in both hemispheres, moreso in the right. Twilight squinted at the image in an attempt to try and make it make some sense. Once she realized the significance of it, she wanted to vomit.

“You… how…” was all Twilight could bring herself to say. Pinkamena, for her part, asked that Twilight get on with what she believed to be ending her life.

Pinkamena really had hacked her brain, and might possibly have given herself permanent damage in the process. Twilight knew she wanted to repair those lesions as best she could, but had doubts if it was possible. …

Twilight, unsure what to do, uses a basic spell to render Ponk unconscious and leaves Golden Oaks to run around Ponyville like a chicken with her head cut off because Celestia was out of the country for the week and didn't know who else she could turn to. Eventually the weather turns bad, it gets dark, and she gets lost in the back alleys. Then she trips in the mud and slides into the TARDIS.

She meets Doctor Whooves, who is travelling with Derpy Ditzy-Doo, and they've apparently come from several years in the future. There's a lot of fun married-couple-style banter between Derp and Doc throughout that I won't bore you with. A description of the Equestria-era TARDIS. Twilight and The Doctor are both pompous jerks in their own ways. Twilight tries to explain her problem, but says she'd prefer a Unicorn to help her, which offends the Earthpony and Pegasus with her. The Doctor promptly gives her a verbal beat-down but still agrees to help.

They go back to Golden Oaks and retrieve the still-unconscious Pinkamena, who is still strapped into her own bizarre contraption, and take her back to the TARDIS.

Back in the Doctor's lab, he marvels at what Ponk was able to build even while admitting how primitive it is. He then locks Twilight and Ditzy in Ditzy's bedroom which is lined with magic dampeners so Twilight can't interfere with whatever the Doctor plans to do -- she can't blast down the door or teleport; she tries both.

The Doctor revives Pinkamena, receives her side of the story, agrees to help her, and proceeds to begin probing her brain. During their conversation, he accidentally triggers her to turn back into Pinkie Pie, but continues his tinkering anyway. He explains that the TARDIS has on-hand what he calls "healer nanomachines" that help keep it from dying despite The Doctor's blunders; they also saved Ditzy-Doo during an accident and made her better than new (still didn't fix her eyes though).

After he injects a healer nanomachine into Ponk's brain, she starts involuntarily cycling between her personalities. Here's a nice little exchange where both Ponk and Doc lay it on the line.

“Sorry. Pinkamena, you’re sick. Your brain has suffered severe trauma – self-induced I must add – so I injected you with some healer nanomicrobes to fix the damage.”

The look on Pinkamena’s face clearly said something along the lines of You Complete Idiot.

“Aigh!!” she grunted involuntarily. “Obviously you figured out I did this to myself, but did you ever for a second ask why I would do it? Of course you didn’t! You don’t even care! Twilight Sparkle just told you to fix me without bothering to give any justification! Gahh!”

The Doctor levelled his most severe gaze at Pinkamena. “Tell me.”

“I want to DIE! Or rather, I want this consciousness to die! That’s what I tried to do five years ago! I’m sick and tired of being saddled with a quarter-century of grief and loss! I’m sick of being stuck inside my polar opposite! I’m tired of feeling hopeless! I want to start over my life and wipe the abomination that is Pinkamena away entirely!”

The Doctor is not moved by this and one-ups her by mentioning the Great Time War (but not by name). Pinkamena asks why, if the Doctor is so sad, he bothers going on. The Doctor responds that Pinkamena is the one taking the coward's way out. Meanwhile the "operation", such at it is, is still happening, and Ponk's cycling becomes more rapid.

Then the console explodes. (hey, it is the TARDIS; that's kind of a given)

Twilight finally breaks out during the brief power outage and finds a very frizzed Ponk laying on the floor a few feet away from The Doctor. Twilight screams at the Doctor. The Doctor tries to keep things calm, but Twilight is too angry to listen. As she levitates Ponk to take her back to Golden Oaks, she tells The Doctor that if she ever sees him again, she won't hesitate to kill him (if she can't get Celestia to do it for her). The Doctor responds:

“She’s been through a considerable trauma. She needs to rest now,” he said calmly.

Twilight was not having any of it. “Trauma you caused! She’s worse off now than she was in my library! Look at that charred equipment! Look at her! You could have killed her!”

“You would have killed her,” the Doctor intoned bluntly. “She very nearly killed herself five years ago, and she knew you didn’t have the expertise to not finish the job. What she failed to realize was that, had you not agreed to accept my assistance, both of her selves would have been destroyed and her brain rendered little more than a lukewarm grey porridge.”

They take Ponk back to the library. Twilight has a nightmare. Luna appears in order to shatter it. She cryptically thanks Twilight, then even more cryptically says that the next day will be interesting, and leaves.

The next morning is the day of Pinkie's party, Twilight wakes up late, realizes Ponk is still asleep and worriedly wakes her up, not knowing what she'll find. Ponk immediately starts rushing around in a pre-party panic. The reader is kept in the dark for a little bit over Ponk's fate -- though the fact that she says mild curses and calls Twilight by her full name suggests the "wrong" Ponk made it through the operation. This is confirmed shortly thereafter.

Pinkamena is not happy at all. She's terrified. The Doctor had healed Pinkamena's self-induced brain damage, meaning she's back to how she was five years earlier… suffering from Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome and remembering everything about her past (instead of only the happiest bits). Twilight explains that she thinks Ponk will be fine, and that all she cared about was helping her. Also, Luna had asked her to "free" Ponk. She tells Ponk that being a CMFIS sufferer isn't the end of the world because she has a support network in Ponyville, friends who love her.

Twilight smirked. “Who is Pinkie Pie if not a reflection of yourself? She’s the pony you believe you could have been had your life been less traumatic. In other words, you are her! Well, give or take a few filters, of course.”

“No, Twilight. Pinkie isn’t me. She’s just an ideal, a façade masking the harsh reality.”

“But you certainly don’t seem to hate her. So why not look at her as a goal to attain? From now, you can finally start healing, and then maybe some day – with a little help from your friends – you can finally become the Pinkie Pie you always wished you could be.”

Pinkamena levelled her strictest gaze. “Twilight Sparkle. That is, without a doubt, the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

This caused Twilight’s face to contort into puppy-mode, complete with floppy ears and quivering lower lip – a stance perfected by the old Pinkie yet seemingly foreign to this one.

With that, Pinkamena smiled perhaps her first genuine smile in over ten years. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet, but as far as Twilight was concerned it was the loudest she had ever been. “But let’s try it anyway.”

Twilight beamed with any number of positive emotions, mainly satisfaction. “Come on,” she said as she led Pinkamena along, “We’ve got a party to get ready for!”

They tried to curl Ponk's mane, but it wouldn't cooperate, staying straight even though her coat was no longer dulled (think how she looked in "Magical Mystery Cure").

They go to Carousel Boutique where Spike, on Twilight's orders, had gathered the other four without explaining why (because he didn't exactly know). When they saw Ponk with a straight mane, none of them react much except Rainbow Dash, who promptly flips out and screams that Ponk is dangerous and to get away from her, mentioning the sequence in "Party Of One". Pinkamena apologizes for that incident, then reintroduces herself to her friends. Applejack doesn't understand why since they're already friends, Rainbow Dash is still acting like a douche (causing A.J. to tell her to back off, now).

The other five say they accept Pinkamena for who she is (though Dashie does so reluctantly), and will be there to help her in any way they can, starting with the Fifth Anniversary of Pinkie Pie's Arrival In Ponyville Party, which is a smashing success. The part ends with Pinkamena content with a party well-thrown and realizing that she is finally on the long and winding road to achieving inner peace.

END PART III

PS - The side story is just a short thing about Derpy and The Doctor (and also sometimes Minuette). Nothing really important. It's Part IV that has side-stories that actually matter… at least to me.

Thanks for reading through all this stuff. I hope I didn't bore you too much.