Retrospective: Bards

You're going to want to read the story before you read this. So go do that!

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Welcome, everypony to the retrospective of Bards of the Badlands and yet another dose of D&D mixed with MLP!

Today we've got some fun stuff. A bit wonky, but fun.

And a whole lot of epic art.

Because epic stuff is epic.

Bards of the Badlands turned out to be a lot harder to write than I anticipated. The real problem—which quickly became self-evident—was originally, I didn’t have a conflict. At first, it was going to be Sunset all moody and depressed with Moon Dancer off on vacation. Moon Dancer sends Minuette to help cheer Sunset up… and that’s as far as I got.

My first version was going to be—apparently—about a book series that Minuette introduced Sunset to. But somehow, that shifted in my brain to an O&O game. Maybe it was after Dungeons and Discord. Who knows? But even then… I still needed a conflict.

This Sunset is in a bit of a strange place. She just had her entire worldview shattered a few months ago when Moon Dancer stood up for her after Dean Slate’s plot to ruin Sunset during the events of The Alchemy of Chemistry. At this point, her thoughts and emotions are all over the place. She doesn’t even know if she wants other friends, but she’s starting to feel regret for the things she’s done, something she is not happy about at all. I didn’t want her quite as depressed as the Sunset from Grading on a Bell Curve (which, by the way, happens roughly four months after Badlands). This Sunset is still trying to figure out what friendship is… and to be honest, that takes Sunny a really long time.

But there’s the catch: I didn’t want it to be the same lesson she learned in The Application of Unified Harmony Magics or to simply rehash things from either Alchemy or Bell Curve. I needed something different. And I went through about two dozen ideas. In the end, a lot of them were incompatible with the dual-story I wanted to write, so I ended up on a very real possibility for Sunset: dealing with other ponies who won’t forgive her for what she’s done in the past, despite her best efforts. Equestria Girls Sunset has to deal with this during the first half of Rainbow Rocks (that walk of shame through the gym right at the start always looked really painful to me).

So, I had this idea that Lemon Hearts had a schoolfilly crush on a colt named ‘Grassy Fields’ back in her first year and Sunset pretty much humiliated her by destroying any chance she had with him. And while some ponies were starting to let go of what Sunset had done (especially after the events in Alchemy), Lemon Hearts was still pissed. In fact, she was even more pissed that people seemed to be forgiving Sunset, especially some of her closest friends!

But to my surprise, it was Twinkleshine who helped me truly nail down the story. That little conversation Sunny and Twinkleshine have while ‘spying’ on Minuette and Lemon Hearts’s argument was the tipping point. I knew that I finally had a handle on the story. And lo and behold, I managed to finish pretty much from the start of their conversation all the way to the end in one go, blasting out nearly 4,000 words in one sitting.

You know what’s even more ironic? I actually had a lot of trouble writing the adventure scenes! I’m naturally a fantasy (high fantasy—think Lord of the Rings—or urban fantasy—The Dresden Files/Harry Potter—either works) writer, but I also wanted to make the powers believable to those familiar with D&D.

Still, I had to cheat a little here and there because of the nature of our ponies. For example, pegasi automatically get flight (duh, wings), so earth ponies would automatically get strength. It makes sense that unicorns would get telekinesis.

The real stretch was the Power of Harmony, an ability given only to groups that have at least one magic user in them (originally it was one unicorn, based on Hearth’s Warming Eve). It’s got a huge cooldown timer, because yes, it’s overpowered. But it makes sense that a Harmony-based power could briefly control any sort of chaotic magic (like the intrinsic wild magic of a sorcerer)… I hope.

Hell, remember what Harmony did to Discord?

Anyway, Sorcerers do get “controlled chaos” at level 14 in 5e (Yes, I actually researched it)… so… it’s not that much of a stretch!

…Right?

That makes sense, right?

In addition, I wanted a phoenix because, let’s just honest, that’s the perfect familiar for Sunset. In fact, I came across a comic that made me cry at 6:20 AM in the morning (stupid good writing making me cry) because I stumbled on it while getting ready for work with the concept that Philomena was actually Sunset’s pet and Celestia took her in after Sunset left through the portal. Honestly? I would have used that if I’d thought of it. It’s pure brilliance.

Ironic since the next story you’ll probably see from me is about Philomena and Sunset.

Anyway, back to the story.

Since you can’t actually have a phoenix as a familiar (because it would be overpowered), Eoana turned into a hawk with a special charm granting her fire-immunity with the side-effect of making her look like a phoenix. Though I might have gotten away with a phoenix familiar since phoenixes are actual wild birds in Equestria.

It’s ironic that the story ended up spending so much time around Lemon Hearts when the real motivation behind the entire thing was Minuette. And somehow, when they got into their last argument, it finally clicked. Minuette would just find them arguing like this ridiculous, finally crack and just laughing her tail off. And when somepony starts laughing like Minuette… well, I believe I used the term “laughter plague” a few times in there. And one of my favorite analogies I've ever written was the "window cat fight" example. I don't know about you, but I can imagine that perfectly in my head. And it's AWESOME.

This story... and this Retrospective... went through more edits than any other story I've written. It was rebuilt so many time. That's also why this Retrospective is a bit... disjointed. I've written parts of it in October, parts in December, parts in January and parts in February.

First, special thanks to Roll for Initiative by Prak, which was the major inspiration for this story. Granted, Bards was a bit more serious (okay, a lot more serious in places). I liked the dual-story style, but I wanted it with a more 'serious' tone. I also decided to make the in-RPG story a lot more realistic, only hinting at rolls and the like without actually saying it outright.

Finally, let me tell you when I wrote this story. I started writing this before I launched The Cloudsdale Report on FimFiction. In fact, I started writing the Retrospective on October 20th.

Honestly? I wasn’t ready for the explosive success of Cloudsdale. As I said in my “Great Scott!” blog, Cloudsdale did so well that it drove all three of my other then-published stories into the Popular Fiction category. Everything was blowing up. Applications, History, Cloudsdale and Bell Curve were getting more views than ever before. I jumped something like 100 followers in a few days. I shattered my view count from 700 a few days after the launch of History and on the same day Cloudsdale launched, the number skyrocketed to two shy of 3,000! In one day! I let my notification reader go without checking (save for reading the comments, as I’ve said) and by the time I got to this point in the retrospective, I had 431 favorites or watches, not including the 100+ I had from before when I accidentally clicked the notifications button.

This was extremely distracting to my writing process! I literally had to shut down everything so I could focus enough to write! It was madness! Madness I say!

But the key thing is that I wanted to finish this story before I did my deep dive into turning Alchemy into the epic I pray it’s going to be. I didn’t want to leave this thing high and dry and then come back to it (I’m going to have to do that to Wavelengths anyway). (And by the way, that's exactly what I did).

Now, coming back to this story at the beginning of December, I find myself in an interesting situation. I’ve never had a schism in my editors and beta readers before. Ebon Quill came up with this really interesting idea of having Minuette as a perspective character in the story. And while that had a lot of potential (and he came up with some criminally brilliant lines from Minuette’s perspective), in the end, I had to make a really hard call: to go with my initial creative vision for the story and have Sunset be the sole perspective character.

That being said, he’s the reason you actually know why Lemon Hearts is so very pissed at Sunny. And about a billion other things that are way too detailed to go into.

But when the smoke cleared and the darlings (“kill your darlings” - old writing adage) were counted, I hope the result lives up to your expectations (even if I ended up rewriting this damn story four five seven nine (I lost count) times).

In the end, though the story was brutal to write and edit, I hope the final product came out acceptable. There’s a few niggling details I’d go back and change, but more than anything, I’m ready to move on to the next story.

Anyway, I do hope you’ve enjoyed Sunset’s latest outing with her newfound friends (whether she likes it or not). I look forward to seeing you all in the upcoming short story Habits of the Equestrian Phoenix and when we finally get to finish the Origins Arc with How Not To Use Your Royal Prerogative in March!

-NI

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

The story was definitrly well worth the effort that went into it. All that time in the editorial rock tumbler has left it wonderfully smooth.

[nobody dreamer]

Huh, I never considered the idea that Philomena could be Sunset's pet. I've sometimes wondered how they would have interacted, Philomena's trolling would have clashed hard with Sunset's ambition, or they might both have gotten along together in their nastiness towards others. I just have a hard time seeing pre-reform Sunset with a pet. Not to mention where she would get one- Twilight with Spike was a pretty unique situation. The idea has potential, wonder if any fic will have that kind of set-up. Speaking of Spike, I forget where his dragon egg is now (probably still being used for entrance exams).

I'm glad the perspective stayed with Sunset, it really showed her (continuing) struggle with learning to accept friendship. Not to mention her internal debates. Maybe later on a Minuette perspective- I've seen Pinkie POVs before, so it can be done, and I sometimes wonder just how much she knows. Based on that last almost argument, even Minuette has her limits.

Thank you (and your editors and beta readers) for another good story, looking forward to the next one (as usual).

[EbonQuill]

4420786
Minuette's perspective is/was nothing like a Pinkie POV fic. No kooky bananas randomness, no sentient objects, and no fourth-wall breakage.

A few daubs of paint on it, perhaps, but no breakage.

Bu-u-t it added ~16,000 words. So-o-o...

[Ladrian]

Well, like I said on the actual story, I loved it. Lots of Heart. An intricate and delicate Dance of friendship.

...

Er... And the story's been a Twinkle in your eye for a whilemany a Sunset...?

...Yeeeeeeah.

Yeah, that comic looks kinda sad. If only I had a soul.

Still don't like the "laughter plague" thing. I could completely understand how Minuette could find them funny, but I just haven't ever experienced the "contagious laughter while angry" thing.

You should name your factions of editors! The... Minuective and the Sunsolo. Minmons and Sun..setants? Orthosets? Cathimmers?
This joke was being difficult, and so it was edited out. It was a contentious decision.

Can't wait for your next story! I probably won't be doing a play-by-play. Tho I will likely be making stupid comments whenever the mood hits me. Of course, that mood hits like a train. Once it comes, it takes a long time for it to leave.

So who knows!

[EbonQuill]

4422343
I don't know about factions, but I have taken been awarded the title of Royal Spoilsport and Lord High Nitpicker.

So that's something.

[Ladrian]

4422624
Hey, those are compliments in my book.

[Amber Spark]

I'm horrible. Seriously? How did I forget to reply to these?!

4420660

editorial rock tumbler

This is the most apt description of my editing process I've ever seen.

4420786

Huh, I never considered the idea that Philomena could be Sunset's pet. I've sometimes wondered how they would have interacted, Philomena's trolling would have clashed hard with Sunset's ambition, or they might both have gotten along together in their nastiness towards others.

The funny thing is that Habits of the Equestrian Phoenix came in long after this story was completed.

Speaking of Spike, I forget where his dragon egg is now (probably still being used for entrance exams).

Don't worry. I know exactly where Spike is.

Based on that last almost argument, even Minuette has her limits.

Minuette does indeed have limits. You'll see them. Trust me, you'll see them.

4422343

Can't wait for your next story! I probably won't be doing a play-by-play. Tho I will likely be making stupid comments whenever the mood hits me. Of course, that mood hits like a train. Once it comes, it takes a long time for it to leave.

May the train come early and often.

4422624; 4422858