Holy ****

I'm nearing the end of my first re-write. The first chapter of the story was always the worst, in about every way I can think of. I've pretty much had to go from scratch. But I'm quite proud of what I've managed to do thus far.

Once it is complete, I'll post the new version as a separate chapter and leave the old version up while I do the other chapters. once i'm finished, I don't know what i'll do with the old versions. maybe i'll simply post them in this blog and provide links in the new chapters, for anyone who wants to compare.

I think i'll also provide a blog that lists the bigger differences between the new and old versions. as I said before, there's nothing that significantly changes the story. but still... comparisons.

if i'm not back with the revised addition within two days, feel free to send me hate mail!