On Chapter the Fifteenth and Long-Winded Musings · 2:07am Oct 2nd, 2016
All the putrid shit put out by EQG, I still can't bring myself to hate Sunset Shimmer
Little over 4000 words and rising for CH 15. This is gonna be another long-un.
Anyway, just in case y'all missed my long Author's Note at the start of the EQG arc, this bit is not exactly going to be canon to the EQG universe in it's current state. Like, at all. Mind you, I've not seen any of them past Rainbow Rocks, and I only saw that one like twice. Couldn't make it past the first ten minutes with Friendship Games and I'm not even going to bother with The Legend of Zelda, or whatever the fuck this new one is called. As you've seen the last chapter, I don't even remember the exact plot to RR. So, yeah, I'm going to be taking a lot of- What's the word? -artistic license with the plot in this run.
Real news about the story ends here, now for me to pontificate and generally rant about EQG for a few paragraphs.
I'll be honest with you guys. Frankly, I can't stand EQG. It's boring. Needs more actual magic, swordfights, chase scenes and excitement with less generic teen drama. The question may come to your mind, "Why is WR&H writing EQG if he hates it so much?". The answer to that would be becasue I, some random guy on the internet with no credentials, can write a more engaging story about ponies going to humanland than our current writers. To hell with modesty, I can compose a better plotline half-drunk in crayon on a napkin than the first EQG had. I really can't blame them for not putting effort into such a shitty idea that many people in the fandumb will despise simplly on principle, but I have this horrible tenancy to hold people to the same standards I hold myself, especially with writing. I'm not this pretentious IRL, I swear.
In a way, this is my own personal "Fuck you" to Equestria Girls as a whole. If I can do it, professional godamn writers working for a multibillion dollar corporation can. It's also it's parallel the the original idea of DHD in the first place. I took Flash and Blueblood, played with what I was given, made them likeable. Likewise I'm gonna take EQGverse and make it likeable. I'm also looking forward to this chapter becasue I've only ever written extensively for ponies so far. Miniature equines are cute n' all, but it's far easier to write pantomime for humans because we have more complex body language than can be written for a horse becasue much of our tics and tells involves our arms and hands, so I have to rely on describing facial expressions and eye contact to convey feelings without dialogue. I now have a bit of freedom as far as fight scenes go as well, and I'm hoping to have quite a few of them as I attempt to give it an overarching Die Hard meets Conan the Barbarian meets My Little Pony feel. There will be magic, swordfights, chase scenes and excitement abound, my friends.
I also want to dig into the setting a little more. A bit of a spoiler, I'm going to model humanquestria after my own United States of America, but as a bit of an alternate universe while still making it recognizable. One of the underlying themes is going to be about one of the pillars of America: freedom, and the lengths we would go to attain it. As you can probably tell by my most recent avatar, I have opinions on American politics, and opinions tend not to be tolerated, especially in this cesspool of a fandom. I'll try my damnedest not to get preachy, but what happens, happens. You've stuck with me this long, I doubt a few personal opinions will turn you away now.
As a little bonus for reading all that shit, I'm going to give you a hint as to what one of the big plot twists will be revealed early next chapter.
Behold,
The beautiful thing about your avatar is that I can't quite tell if you're a Trump supporter or quite the reverse.
Please to not be breaking this fragile illusion with anything so crass as public proclamation?
OK, OK, a remarkably vague and ambiguous message that different people can and will interpret in contrary ways might well be Trump's signature move, but I still can't quite tell!
Well, this is good news all the way around. Just remember, I'm going to hold you to your 80's action movie comment earlier. Not that I expect that to be a problem.
Also, I know exactly what you mean about the show and especially the EQG movies. It has gone completely to shit because the hacks writing everything these days don't seem to give a shit about any of the things that made it great in the first place. The fact that the community as a whole is absolutely awful at this point doesn't help, and I can't help but feel like it is at least partially because the idiot writers have driven off most of the people that actually thought about things since I know quite a few people who have given up on the show over the years. The stupidity from the show also seems to have infected a lot of the people who have stuck around (I blame cognitive dissonance), and I can think of quite a few people I used to respect who have taken a serious turn for the stupid over the years. Yes I hold myself and others to very high standards like you do, but MLP used to meet those standards and loosing that really sucks. On a brighter note, I do at least know of a group where people will actually honestly discuss the problems and having an actual opinion supported by evidence is still acceptable, so at least there is somewhere you can go where you won't be attacked for it even if it is just a quiet corner of the site.
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Oh, trust me, You'll be hearing my proclamation when the 8th of November hits, and hopefully some well-deserved gloating to boot. If all goes well let me tell you I will not be able to contain myself. You have no idea how closely I've been following this shit.
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Don't even get me started on the show itself. That's an even longer blog for another day. Gonna hold off til after the REAL movie to go on that particular rant. I wouldn't even be able to remain coherent past the first few paragraphs. The community as a whole is a completely different ballgame. Have you ever seen Drowning in Horshoes's hour and a half long video on the fandom? He sums it up pretty well. It's a dark circus of freaks and weirdos out there. Furries, fetishists, weeaboos, manchildren, aspies, edgy teens, flavor of the month hipsters, professional trolls, and all manner of outcasts outnumber the sane people to the point where they alter the stigma of the show. Previously, bronies were mocked becasue we watched a show for little girls, now it's becasue we're part of a fandom that associates itself with a Ripley's Believe-it-or-Not book's worth of freaks.
4236114 Yeah, I know exactly what you are talking about. It's really pitiful how much of a disaster everything related to MLP has become, especially looking back at how great it was in seasons 1 and 2. The whole thing makes me very glad I never got started on writing that story I planned out back in season 3 since it would force me to deal with the idiot children screaming at me for ignoring the bulk of the stupidity since the only way I can interpret canon to have it make any sense is that Twilight died when she exploded in the season 3 finale and everything after that is a postmortem hallucination. When you throw in the fact that I also use the more sensible interpretation that the sun and moon work normally and the belief that the princesses raise/lower them is a myth like the many similar beliefs seen in historical human cultures since the only outlier is Nightmare Moon which can be explained as a giant illusion...yeah. I would not have had a good time dealing with the stupid.
As for the first part, the election has been over for months. Trump won when Sanders endorsed Clinton. Sanders was the only one with any real chance at beating Trump, and he threw all his political capital away the moment he endorsed her and proved that he was really part of the Democrat establishment despite being in the Senate as an independent. Sanders could have run an effective independent presidential campaign by talking up the military to point out how they have socialized healthcare and made a joke of being a Jew reading the parts of the bible that basically describe communism for why Christians should support him thanks to Trump and Clinton's huge negative ratings. Alternatively, he could have defected to the Trump campaign, possibly even as the VP, since they are very similar on the economy which was biggest issue for both of them, or he could have gone his own way and done something different, but instead he flushed everything he built in the primaries down the toilet by endorsing Clinton who never had any chance against Trump. Scott Adams has written a lot of good blogs discussing exactly why that is, although he never really talked about Sanders (probably because everyone knew the Democrats had thoroughly rigged the primaries against him). Granted a lot of people don't see that yet and won't accept the fact that Trump won even after the votes are counted since Clinton is basically running a hate campaign against him, but the reality is that Trump won ages ago.
Also, for the record, I'm planning on voting for Vermin Supreme come November. I'm just calling it as it is because I can actually think and see what is really going on so I don't buy into the stupid fear machine that is running this election.
4236235 Although I don't agree with Bernie's visions of "Democratic Socialism", I was disappointed to see he sold out to the Dems, even after Trump offered him a tree's worth of olive branches. He may be wrong on many things, but up until that point he really belived in what he was saying, and that's probably what gained him his Reddit cult following.
El Rato?
i.imgur.com/d6EpaWB.jpg
4236235 Perhaps this is foolish of me, but I can't resist pointing out my way overthought analysis of why a standard heliocentric cosmology can't be applied to Equestria. Never mind NMM (and Discord); MLP can't be heliocentric anyway without ignoring show canon, even from the earlier seasons. The only thing needed to poke a hole in the illusion theory is the knowledge that the moon is raised and lowered at the same time, and in roughly the same place, every day. No plausible illusion would waste enormous effort faking that unnecessary and unasked-for detail.
4236259 Yeah, Bernie definitely had some issues, although my biggest concern was more in the lack of detail he provided about basically anything else. I also doubt that he would have been able to get any serious work done since congress is totally bribed by big corporations, but if nothing else Sanders would have been a huge obstacle to their abusive laws and helped draw attention to organizations like Wolf PAC trying to fix the rampant bribery that is at the root of most of our biggest problems these days. Without that we wouldn't have stupid shit like Obamacare which was written by and for insurance companies to help them abuse people and might actually get some positive change one way or another, but as is the bribery means that no matter which party writes the law, the public will suffer.
As for Vermin Supreme, my vote doesn't matter due to where I live so it's a good disclaimer to avoid the violence Clinton is stirring up and will let me say "I didn't vote for him/her" when people inevitably bitch at me.
4236395 Thank you for proving my point. The only actual point you have in that rambling mess is the orbital time, and there are a LOT of ways around that one. Lagrange Points are the most obvious, but they are hardly the only option and I'm not wasting my time giving you an astrophysics lecture you will ignore because it conflicts with your preconceived notions.
4237583 I don't know how to better state my willingness to listen, so your adherence to a preconceived notion that I am arguing in bad faith is somewhat insulting and rather hypocritical.
4237789 Not jumping on a minor side note in a post which is very clearly written complaining about people jumping on me might be a good place to start.