• Member Since 31st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Sleepy Panda


Some people are morning birds, other people are night owls. Me? I'm some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

More Blog Posts223

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    yrehgoijsrxdcg;oik

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  • 36 weeks
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    6 comments · 141 views
Aug
21st
2016

On making friends lists · 12:53pm Aug 21st, 2016

Okay, I really need to get my thoughts out there on this.

A bunch of people have these lists on their page, "friends lists", listing people that they're friends with. And honestly they're just really stupid and hurtful. Just think for a moment. What's the benefit? To show that you have friends? To maybe hope that people will click on those names and follow them? To boost the egos of your friends? Well, that's all good and dandy, but it's also just really dumb and really hurtful.

It is really, really hurtful to go to the user page of someone you like, talk to a lot, consider your friend, etc. and find that there's no mention of you on the friend list. And it's often really awkard to ask to be put on said list because it feels like your forcing your friendship upon them.

I'm fine with using that "following" widget, or giving a shout-out to IRL friends (because it's not like people online will magically become your neighbour if you talk to them in PMs enough), but those friends lists on user pages, I really wish they would stop.

I learned a decade ago, in first grade, that this was wrong and hurtful. I made a list on the inside of my school folder of people I considered "friends", "neutrals", and "enemies". My teacher pulled me aside and told me this was not Okay. "But you're on my friends list!" I said, but she sternly told me that she didn't want to be on any list, and nobody else should be categorized either.

It's like walking up to people and saying, "Hi, you're not my friend." And it's not like you constantly telel your friends that they're your friends, either--you show that with your actions! There's no reason to declare that x and y are your friends on your userpage and just exclude everybody else from that.

It really stings if you're not on that list. It's ridiculous. Please stop. :ajsleepy:

Report Sleepy Panda · 240 views · #fimfiction
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Comments ( 20 )

Yes, this is true. I did once consider having such a list, but decided to opt for the "following" widget instead.

Even the following widget isn't really a friends list though. There are plenty of people here that I like as friends, but choose not to follow because they blog too much, or I'm not really into the kind of stories they write, or whatever.

I have it because I like the show some appreciation for my friends on my page. And because I've never yet found it hurtful to not be on someone's. :twilightsheepish: But it makes sense why it would be.

You see the thing is though, I don't want to take it down, because I want to say somewhere I've got an amazing boyfriend and who he is, but if I say that, how can I not mention my amazing closest friends? And if I mention them how can I not mention mention my amazing newer friends?

See the problem? :moustache:

4162931 Again, though, you shouldn't need to show appreciation for friends on your page. What happened to just showing people that you appreciate them through actions?

As for the boyfriend thing... You can only really ever have one boyfriend, so it's not like people will feel left out. But with friends, there's always going to be people who feel left out.

I can't think of a proper response for this; I'm too tired and unmedicated.

It is a really dumb thing to do though. That's all I'm going to say.

Yeah, it can be mean, huh?
I have some Fim family listed on my page, but not even some of my closest friends are on there because we never decided anything.

4162941
Alright, maybe you're right, still, I find it hard to let go of. For what it's worth, you're on mine now. :twilightsmile:

4162947 I'd rather not be on any lists, but... still. I appreciate the thought.w

Hm, I don't think I ever say a person with a friend list. Sure I've seen family lists, but I don't know if those count or not.

last time i had a friends list was when roblox added one

I used to have one, but I deleted it a long time ago. :applejackunsure: I get what you're saying.

:unsuresweetie: I think people would be taking it way to seriously to get upset by it.

It is really, really hurtful to go to the user page of someone you like, talk to a lot, consider your friend, etc. and find that there's no mention of you on the friend list.

It would also be hurtful to try and get people to try and remove their list. I see both points to the argument but I've never had any problems with it. And I'm always willing to add people when they've asked.


4162871 your opinion is nought as you agree with everything she says

Comment posted by Sleepy Panda deleted Aug 21st, 2016
Comment posted by Shadow Wingss deleted Aug 21st, 2016
Comment posted by Sleepy Panda deleted Aug 21st, 2016

I've never made a list, people know if they're my friend or not.

4163531

your opinion is nought as you agree with everything she says

No, I really don't.

4164433
My apologies. I was asleep when you replied.

Hence why my page is list free. When I talk to someone a lot and aren't on the list it upsets me. Are we not friends? Was I not worth the mention? I like being mentioned sure, but I'd rather not see lists of people who are above others.:derpytongue2:

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