We’re almost halfway through the series, so let’s see the next review…

…

And it’s #41: “Hearts and Hooves Day.”

---

TECHNICAL SPECS:

Season: 2
Episode: 18
Written By: Meghan McCarthy
First Aired: February 11, 2012*

*The episode was leaked onto iTunes on February 8, 2011, for the perusal of impatient, monstrous fiends who chose to watch the episode early. I am one of those monsters.

SUMMARY:

It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, Equestria’s equivalent to Valentine’s Day, and the CMC are celebrating by making Cheerilee a giant paper heart out of glitter, glue, and paint. But after they present their wondrous gift to her, she informs them that she doesn’t have a “very special somepony” for the day. The three decide to make it their mission to hook up their teacher before the day ends, so they skip school and go searching through Ponyville. Unfortunately, every eligible bachelor is taken, unappealing, dead, or obsessed with jelly, and their quest is doomed to fail. That is, until they notice the one stallion in Ponyville who isn’t romantically attached: Apple Bloom’s big brother, Big Macintosh.

Unfortunately for them, Big Mac is very shy and would never take the initiative, so the fillies decide to lure the two into a romantic picnic and thus get her to ask him. They successfully pull the trick off, but rather than the two hooking up, they exchange some awkward banter before leaving in a confused, rather disturbed state. Dejected, the Crusaders return to wandering around Ponyville until they run into Twilight, who’s found a book detailing how the holiday was founded thanks to a love potion. Sadly, she also has the dumb today, so she gladly entrusts the book to the three fillies who perked up at the idea of a love potion recipe.

The three mix up the potion and get Big Mac and Cheerilee together again to test their “punch.” Cheerilee realizes what’s going on, and apologizes to Big Mac for the fuss, but the two laugh it off and drink the potion anyway to humor them. In an instant, the two have locked eyes and have asked each other to be their “very special somepony.” Only one problem: the two soon descend into baby talk and total gibberish while declaring their eternal love for each other.

It isn’t until they take a second look at the book that they realize that they just mixed up a love poison, which causes its victims to be so enraptured with each other that they will not do anything else, and actually caused a kingdom to fall in the past. The only antidote is to keep the two from looking into each other’s eyes for one hour. To do this, they decide to make the two try to get married, and then keep them busy with the preparations.

Cheerilee is easily locked into the dressing room at Carousel Boutique, but Big Mac slips past Apple Bloom and Scootaloo at the jewelry store after buying a wedding diamond. Scootaloo goes to warn Sweetie Belle at the boutique while AB tries to stop Big Mac. Unfortunately, not even tying him to a house can slow him down, and the day is barely saved when he falls down a hole Sweetie and Scoots had dug. Unfortunately, Cheerilee can hear his voice, and the siren’s call causes her smash through the walls and barrel through the Crusaders…one second after the hour has passed.

The two suddenly come to their senses, now standing on a dirty mattress in a hole in the ground. The Crusaders confess what happened, and give the lesson: nopony should meddle in other ponies’ relationships, and it’s up to each pony to find the pony they want to be with. The kids are sentenced to finishing the rest of Big Macintosh’s chores for their actions…but not before the two screw with them one more time by acting like the potion’s still working. Thus, the state of CheeriMac is left in limbo, FlutterMac fans have been sated, and the Crusaders are left believing that they mind raped their teacher and big brother forever.

REVIEW:

“Hearts and Hooves Day” was one of those episodes that everyone looked upon with dread. Not only was it your typical Valentine’s Day episode, which brought up the romance angle that Faust never wanted to pursue, but it also featured Big Macintosh and Cheerilee seemingly getting it on. At the time, FlutterMac was big business, and fans of the ship were particularly venomous about attacking any fic, art, forum post, or anything else that dared to violate that most perfect union. Still, the episode largely went over without a hitch.

The opening with the Crusaders creating the giant heart is a lovely bit of comedy. We’ve all had to make those things in Elementary School, and they always sucked, but these three turn it into an art form. The final heart is actually really impressive, and the way Sweetie tries to fit it into a normal-sized envelope is funny as all get-out. And when they present it right after the commercial break, I couldn’t stop laughing. Cheerilee’s reaction, the fillies fighting to keep the heart from collapsing on them, and Apple Bloom still talking even after the mass of glitter falls on her just make this bit wonderful.

At the same time, we also get three wonderful background bits. When the Crusaders inquire about why Cheerilee doesn’t have a boyfriend, she rolls her eyes and frowns before putting on a happy face to talk to them again. Ah, the dangers of having nopony close to you on a holiday based around romantic love. Later, when Sweetie’s discussing her plan, we see Twist try to pin the heart on the pony, only stick it to Miss Cheerilee by accident. It’s just a cute little bit, and helps liven up the episode.

But the best part is just as the scene’s beginning:

Poor little filly. When people speak of young love, they praise the passion and emotions involved. Very few talk about the rejection and heartbreak.

The episode’s song, “The Perfect Stallion,” is a pretty good one, albeit mostly for the sheer number of bizarre ponies the gang comes across. We learn that arcade machine exist, with one colt playing “Hyper Pony Fighter II Championship Turbo New Pony Edition.” We also see that death exists (amazing how long it took some fans to realize that), as well as religion apparently. (Sweetie interrupting the funeral is a pretty dark moment, even if it is for just a moment.) Oh, and Caramel’s straight. Cue the anguished screams of many a Yaoi fangirl.

Besides that, we have Dr. Whooves splashing them with mud, clown ponies, and of course, the pony with the strange jelly obsession. The last one is just so…out there that it’s absolutely hilarious, and then there’s that face he makes. Seriously, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping well tonight. Still, it all comes down to Big Macintosh, who the CMC settle on before skipping happily away.

The scene at the barn just exists to set up the picnic, but there is one thing I found interesting. We’ve seen Applejack buck apple trees countless times, and each time it took both hind legs or several hard smacks with one to pull it off. Big Mac just sort of taps the tree, and the apples all fall down without any fuss. We knew by this point that Big Mac was strong, but this is one of the first indications of just how powerful he is.

The picnic is one of the funniest scenes in the show period. Cheerilee is so not amused at being called over to identify an apple tree that her voice complete slips, while the CMC acting as transparently manipulative as possible is cute as ever. The music and expressions perfectly reflect the awkward tension in the air, and that’s before we get to the ultimate fake out:

After that, the music becomes completely disjointed, sounding like something from a creepy funhouse than a romantic dinner. The two part ways, allowing the CMC to reflect on their failure. And speaking of failure, here’s Twilight, complete with a phoned-in performance and a cameo that just screams “I’m here because my contract says so!” Twilight giving the girls the book is one of those things you think she shouldn’t do, but at the same time makes some degree of sense. Still, it would have been more acceptable if this was before she got any sort of social development, or, you know, knew anything about the girls and could tell that giving them the recipe for a love potion would be a very bad idea.

The materials needed for the potion are all things relating to Pegasi. The “tuft of cloud” is pretty obvious. “A bright rainbow’s glow” has them using a vacuum, which makes sense given that we know how rainbows work from “Sonic Rainboom.” And of course, yanking a feather from your friend is perfectly acceptable. Seriously, that looks like it hurts.

Here is the one moment where any of them (Apple Bloom, in this case) shows any sign that they don’t like where this plan is headed. After all, this has officially moved beyond just trying to get the two together into FORCING them together, regardless of their real desire. Nonetheless, they all agree to go through with it, we get some more glorious awkward Sweetie Belle, and the game is afoot yet again. Cheerilee and Big Mac have a laugh over the obvious attempt at hooking them up, which at least shows that they have some brains, which is a rarity for any adult in a CMC episode.

And then they drink the strange purple liquid, thus proving that, once again, all adults get the dumb whenever the CMC star. I do like the little skip the fillies do here, as the whole scene serves to make us think that love has conquered the day thanks to drugs. And then they start talking…and many of us start losing out lunch. Granted, the whole point is to make us sick to our stomachs by overplaying the romance (making this a parody of the things Faust wanted to avoid), but hearing Big Mac speak like that is just wrong.

One of the interesting things about the reveal of the love poison is that the picture shows an Alicorn princess. Either all princesses are now Alicorns, or there’s some sort of special significance behind the image that we haven’t been told yet. (For a while, some believed that the princess mentioned was Cadance, and that the wedding would be from a historical perspective. Of course, that was swiftly proven untrue once we learned that Shining Armor was Twilight’s brother.)

Apple Bloom’s over-the-top reaction to the effects of a similar poisoning on Ponyville are cute enough, although it’s her flailing her forelegs that really sells the scene. I also loved her frustrated reaction to not being told that there’s a way to break the spell before freaking out, although they explain the joke a bit too much. There is, however, one logical quibble with the antidote. Wouldn’t they have to go to sleep eventually? Their eyes would probably be closed at that point, which means the problem would be solved. Unless, of course, the poison makes it impossible for them to sleep; seeing as it basically amounts to the two being unable to go away from each other, it’s very likely that sleep deprivation was one of the things assisting in the kingdom’s downfall.

Big Mac and Cheerilee at Sugar Cube Corner mostly exists to draw out the running gag of everypony getting disgusted at their lovey-dovey baby talk. Cup Cake thinks it’s going overboard, but being a businessmare and baker immediately starts thinking about catering their future wedding. The CMC, meanwhile, have to fight back the urge to vomit, and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo repeating the same style of talking to get the two to leave was an obvious – but still worthwhile – joke. The bits at Carousel Boutique and the jewelry store are pretty much just continuations of the same gag, with the last one increasing the tension by having Big Mac escape and start hopping back to his shloopy-doo.

And now we get to one of those gags that will come to bite the show on the flank later on. Apple Bloom tries and tries again to stop her brother, but he’s so strong that nothing she can find will even slow him down. And for the most part, it’s just a funny bit of cartoon physics. Even Big Mac dragging Berry Punch’s house didn’t bother me; it was shown to at least slow him up a little, and Berry looking out her window like she was wondering just how drunk she was made the whole joke work. But then we have Big Mac struggling to carry a cake in “MMMMystery on the Friendship Express.” While it could be argued that the problem with the cake was a matter of bulk and dimensions (he was actually carrying it rather than dragging it behind), it still seems like a bit of a lapse if you think about it too much. And since thinking about a little girl’s cartoon to the point where it’s unhealthy is kind of my deal right now…

I love the hole, especially with the CMC managing to dig a deep enough pit to trap Big Mac and throw down a mattress for him to land on. And then we get to the possible out for his fluctuating strength as Cheerilee smashes through the barricade Sweetie Belle set up as well as a huge chunk of the front section of Carousel Boutique. Apparently the love poison’s effects work like a magnet crossed with a steroid; it makes them capable of insane, physical feats if only to keep the two together. In any case, this entire last segment is almost perfectly done, with the CMC moving back and forth to keep in Big Mac’s line of sight and Cheerilee just charging into them, complete with AB’s slow-motion scream as the three go flying.

When the two come back to their senses, Cheerilee gives the most appropriate response for any occasion where you got so drunk that you can't remember what happened the next day:

The CMC confess the entire scheme, and finally give their motivations as a part of the lesson. While I don’t have any major issues with the moral, I do have to question why this is in a show aimed at little kids. Granted, meddling with love and trying to hook people up is frigging annoying at times, but it’s also not something that has much to do with friendship (although injected romance into a friendship is almost never a good idea). There’s also the theory that the episode is about shipping, which I don’t really buy, but the lesson could be interpreted that way.

It’s nice to see the CMC actually get punished; far too many shows and episodes would end with them simply apologizing and being forgiven for mind raping the two. And Big Mac and Cheerilee getting the last laugh is always amusing, although the ending remains ambiguous over whether or not the two are together. Personally, I think they’re just screwing with the kids in a nice bit of revenge.

By the way, this is the episode with the least Mane 6 presence so far. Only Twilight appears, and even that’s for about twenty seconds. As for why Rarity wasn’t there for the boutique’s destruction…I have no idea.

CONCLUSION:

“Hearts and Hooves Day” is my favorite CMC episode of the second season, if only for the sheer amount of comedy involved. Almost ever gag works here. Even better, it gives Cheerilee and Big Mac some development, which is always nice for secondary characters. In the end, this is one of my favorites of the season.

---

Well, I’ll see you in two days!