The Legend of UniqueSKD's first experiences in playing Splelunky... · 7:23pm Nov 24th, 2015
Okay, so the second the game finishes downloading on my Xbox 360, I'm seeing the little cartoon explorer on the main menu screen with his little torch, and I'm like "Oh, this is going to be awesome!". I start up a new game and I see that I have a choice of four characters, and I'm thinking "Oh, so maybe these guys have different abilities and skills depending on who you pick? Okay, okay, I am digging this!"
Game begins. I go through the tutorial as a weird kung fu master sort of person, and I clear the tutorial relatively easy.
Now the nightmare begins...
I start using my bombs and rope to navigate the dungeon, and out of nowhere I start getting jumped by these fucking dart blocks that can hit me no matter how quickly I try to run or fall past them. I start losing life, and I die after a fucking tiny spider falls from the ceiling and right onto me.
Okay okay, first time playing. No biggie, let's just try this again.
I start hearing someone or something calling for help, and I soon find a damsel. I rescue her, having no idea what she does or anything. I go to the next level, and right away a fucking bat knocks me into spikes. Instant death.
I learn that the game works on perma-death, so I have to start from the first level again. Oh, was this shit going to be fun...
You now what, I'll get straight to the point. Splelunky is a cruel and sadistic game that absolutely does not want to cut you a break. And in the two hours I've put into this, I've managed to get into the first jungle level ONCE. I died from some explosion throwing me into a totem pole that quickly revealed itself to have spikes inside of it.
Two hours and the game broke me...for now.
I shall try again tomorrow, but does anyone out there who has played Splelunky before have any tips and advice for me? Because this game and its dungeons/tombs would test even the skills of Lara Croft, the tomb raider. XD
Heh heh, you're digging this.
3566169 Fuck you. XD
Also, haven't done any digging. I didn't know I could dig. If I could dig, it'd save me using bombs to get to the exit.
Oh wait, no it won't, cause there's a FUCKING GIANT SPIDER BLOCKING IT AGAIN! PISS OFF YOU SPIDERS!