R4 (Reactions, Reviews, Reference, Redirection) #0190 · 10:17pm Sep 18th, 2015
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Here are five slightly edited old reviews:
Just a Puddle by Anon3mous1
Cross Words by Alaborn
Half Minute Horses by TheSlorg
Looking at the Scars by Karrakaz
Little Deceptions by Taranth
Just a Puddle by Anon3mous1
[story link] [my original review]
This is an effective short story. Somewhat predictable. In the broad strokes if not the precise details. With just a bit of ambiguity to keep things firmly in the dark genre tag. It’s a brief glimpse at the same themes as the much longer story I Forgot I Was There by GaPJaxie.
Cross Words by Alaborn
[story link] [my original review]
This was pretty good. I found it a little disjointed and a bit disappointing in the worldbuilding aspect. The alicorn stuff isn’t all that interesting or amazing. Not bad, just a little below the admittedly high bar I’ve got for being cool alicorn stuff. My favorite part is actually the very start of the story. The idea that Twilight has a weekly get together with Cheerliee and the Mayor. I had never considered it before, but that group makes a lot of sense to me. Cheerliee and Twilight would get along because of their shared love of knowledge and learning, whereas Twilight and the Mayor would probably get along because Twilight is used to being around much more important ponies so the Mayor is just a normal pony to her, which might be relaxing for the Mayor.
Half Minute Horses by TheSlorg
[story link] [my original review]
Huh. I’d recommend the first parts of this story, but at about the halfway point I was really wishing it would be over. To explain the main problem I had with this story will have some spoilers, but nothing major. To start with some basic stuff. For a comedy, you can either take a ridiculous situation and play it straight. Or you can take a normal situation and treat it crazy. This one tries to do both. It’s a silly situation from a game that’s a straight wacky comedy, then tries to treat it wacky for most of the story, then at the end we find out that the stakes are real and we should have been taking things seriously? Sort of? I was honestly hoping that the entire thing was a joke or prank being played on Twilight by Celestia and Luna. That’s what it feels like for most of the story honestly. Then it all wraps up and nothing has really happened, been learned, or changed. If you like the time loop stuff, go read Hard Reset. If you like comedy, go read something else. In fact, not sure I’d even recommend the first few chapters. I liked the concept of the video game this is based on, but I only managed to play it for like a half-hour before it got old. This story should have been twice as long and should have been a straight wacky situation comedy with no real world-ending threats. It would honestly not surprise me if the author started with one concept (Celestia and Luna playing a world-ending prank on Twilight) and he either lost interest or simply couldn’t think of a good reveal, so he just ended it in a dull generic fashion.
Looking at the Scars by Karrakaz
[story link] [my original review]
A story where the author’s ambition outpaced their skill. Which is something that should be encouraged. That said… The writing needs more than a little work. The story is just a moment between Celestia and Luna, but they aren’t presented all that well. There is a interesting bit of worldbuilding that is almost used as a throwaway feature that I found really interesting. The idea that all the stars in the night sky are Princess Luna’s happy memories. So this is a somewhat recommended if you aren’t really strict about writing quality.
Little Deceptions by Taranth
[story link] [my original review]
I liked this one. Writing is not quite as polished as it could be, but still above average in quality. Some subtle worldbuilding about a unicorn-biased Canterlot. The real fun bit is the second short chapter. Minor spoilers ahead. I could totally see how that sort of thing could happen a lot. Princess Celestia creating a reputation of all-knowing chess master simply by luck, a spell nopony knows, and her reputation building on itself.
As always, The Big Master Review List is here: { THE MASTER LIST }
If you know of a text-format reviewer I'm not keeping track of, please let me know and I'll see if they meet the criteria to be assimilated into the list.
If you are an author who wants a more detailed review of a story I've covered feel free to message me. My reviews tend to be fairly light, mostly just reactions to a story right after reading it. I am happy to give a more careful read and reply to anyone who wants more precision and/or feedback.
Really wasn't expecting to see a Half Minute Horses review by anyone, so I was pleasantly surprised. For all of about ten seconds, anyway.
Let's have a looksie.
That would have been the easy way to write it, certainly. I've read plenty of stories that follow those rules. I wanted to do something different. Part of the fun of this one is the realization that there was something on the line. Which leads to my next point...
Okay, I can deal with the first thing, as not everyone's going to enjoy a sudden turn for the serious. But this I take offense to. Twilight clearly learns from her mistake of trying to cheat the system. Pinkie learns to take things seriously. Spike learns to overcome his fear of upsetting Rarity. Both Twilight and Celestia learn that dying over and over again can bring out the worst in them, with Celestia regretting her actions. It would have been very easy to just have Celestia troll Twilight. But that would have ended with nothing being learned.
The rest is subjective, sure, but don't go telling people that nothing was learned. That's bad form for a reviewer when it clearly isn't the case.
I wrote HMH before I'd read Hard Reset. I agree with the above statement, though I was personally turned off by 'meme syndrome' by the end of it. The last couple chapters were blegh.
Nope, I knew what I was doing. Something different from the same-old, same old that we see time and time again. You even said so yourself: it should have been straight comedy. Changing it up at the end isn't 'generic.' A more accurate assessment would be 'something different that I didn't enjoy.'
I'll be the first to admit that Half Minute Horses definitely isn't for everyone. I knew that going into it. There will be people who don't enjoy it, such as yourself, and there are plenty who do enjoy it.
I've enjoyed reading your past reviews of my works (even the negative ones), but this one struck a bit of a nerve. Please don't tell people something that straight up isn't true about a story. If you don't like it, fair enough, but don't let affect your ability for a fair review.
I still look forward to future reviews.
Love,
-Slorgy
Whoops!
Clarification: I thought I had read some other reviews of yours on my stories, but it turns out they were by other reviewers... they're just on your Master List.
My mistake.
3439114
My reviews are really subjective, since they are just what I thought about the story right after I finish it. Doesn't surprise me that I missed the things that actually did change and the character development. My brain tends to be pretty hit or miss on that sort of thing, especially when I'm not enjoying the story.
And, in fact, you did respond to this review when I first posted it over on my blog. Though not nearly as in-depth.
3439165 Ah, that explains it, though I still mistook some other reviews as yours.
3439171
If they were better written and more insightful, I'd be happy to take the credit for them.