Critique Review: MLP Quiz by Awesomo3000 · 11:16pm Aug 18th, 2015

Hey, guys. Apparently there is this quiz going around FIMFiction. I'm going to do it, but instead of me actually doing it, I'm going to have 'The Critique' do it instead. Since tomorrow is another review, I figured I'd give you guys an extra day of his antics. So, let me know what you think. Anyway, enjoy.

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Hello, everypony. I am the Critique.

It's not everyday when I get to review something other than fan fiction. Not everyday when I get to pull myself out the endless cesspool of shit and go into a completely different endless cesspool of shit. But I'm getting a tad ahead of myself. There is this quiz flying around and I figured I'd have a look at it, since 4 or 5 of my peers did and nobody else. A quiz by Awesomo3000. So, let's take a look at this quiz as I attempt to convince you I am smarter than I actually am.

Our first question of this quiz is...

MLP QUIZ!

Well, that's not much of a question, is it? You don't even have a question mark in that sentence. Was it supposed to be 'Is this an MLP Quiz?' I certainly hope so. I don't know why I would be taking it if it wasn't? The answer is ... Maybe.

Fav characters?

Sensing a bit of laziness on the creators part here. Was it too hard to write out the word 'favorite'? For a professional quiz, there seems to be very little professionalism by the professional. So, a 'favorite' character hm? I suppose I could go with the obvious choice ... Me.

Least fav characters?

This is going to be a reoccurring thing with the 'fav' talk, isn't it? I'll try not to point it out too much, but I make no promises. Least 'favorite' characters. I'm going to pick the right answer, which would be... everyone but Me.

The next question this quiz asks us is...

Fav background pony?

Wait a minute? Favorite background pony? Isn't a background pony a character? Is it not considered a character? I guess it is a bit different since it says 'Pony' specifically, rather than 'character', but it's kind of confusing since most of the characters in the show are ponies and very few other races. Unless the favorite character questions were supposed to imply that we were looking for non-pony characters. I think somepony needed to go back and redo this quiz. And I'm changing my answer from the last question of who was my least favorite character to 'Whoever proofread this quiz'.

I guess I have to come up with a background pony I like. I'll go with the obvious choice that will piss off most bronies. Applejack.

Least fav background pony?

Least favorite background pony is too hard to choose. So on this one, I'll pass.

Fav Mane Six member?

Favortie Mane Six member? I suppose that ponies do have manes, but why is there name often spelled 'Mane' Six rather than 'Main' Six? I know it's supposed to be a pun, but if you keep this up than most people are going to spell 'main' as 'mane'. Kind of like if we shorten words to make it easier to type them.

Least fav Mane Six member?

You'll notice I skipped answering which of the Mane (see) Six is my favorite. And that is because I hate all of them. I only like Rarity because she's a sexy, sexy mare. But she does lose points for being a unicorn.

Fav CMC?

Well, that's easy. I like Colorado Mountain College. According to the official website, classes start August 24th! And on the 27th, we have the Grand Opening of the Rifle Downtown Academic Center! And I do so love rifles.

Least fav CMC?

My least favorite CMC would be the Cable Music Channel, created by Ted Turner. You know? The guy responsible for Captain Planet. The CMC was shut down only after a month, speaking of the volumes of success it was having, trying to deal with cable companies.

Fav princess?

I can't really say I like any of the princesses, seeing how they always deny me having my own nuclear arsenal. However, I've technically already used two of my skips, and I'm not even halfway through the quiz. I guess I'd better pick a princess then. Hm... I'll go with Princess Cadance. Mostly for two reasons. Reason number 1: She has been dead for nearly 700 years in my time and can't boss me around. (That is if your headcanon is that Twilight and Cadance don't have the infinite lifespan and just have a few more extremities to clean.) Reason number 2 and the more important reason: Because it will piss off Mykan.

Least fav princess?

I think I explained it well enough in my previous question, but it bares repeating. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna suck ass! And they will continue to suck ass until I have my own country to be a cruel tyrant over.

Now, that that's out of the way for another week, we move on to our next question...

Fav season?

Well, that would be Spring or Fall. Spring because I get to watch everypony work clearing out winter, while I stay at home pretending to be sick or intentionally eating a bottle of expired Tartar Sauce the night before when the first plan doesn't work. Fall for similar reasons and the 'Running of the Leaves' thing.

Least fav season?

I won't mention a month that is coming very soon and is the least favorite month of mine by a long shot and I'm hoping that if I don't mention it people will just forget about it.

Fav episode?

Favorite Episode? This one is a bit harder to find something to make fun of. So, instead, I'm just going to go with my favorite moments where I had a little episode in itself. I think it was during the 'My Brave Little Space Unicorns of Awesomeness Season 2' when Lightning defeats the most overpowered trap in the history of the universe by playing hopscotch at it. Those were good days...

Can you imagine I still get post cards from him? He's still asking me to 'fuck yourself'.

Least fav episode?

I would have to say is in that same review I also revealed my fear of clowns. Anyone who posts a picture of a clown in response to this, I'll... um... well I'll do something unpleasant. That's for fucking sure.

Fav episode focused on your fav Mane Six member?

My favorite episode on my favorite mane six. Well, I think we've established in the previous questions that I have no favorite mane six, so I really don't have to answer that question and it doesn't count against my skips. Phew, two skipped questions for the price of one. And I don't care if you think that's cheating. It's my quiz and I'll do whatever the fuck I want with it.

Any episode you hate but everyone else loves?

I can't think of anything clever or funny here. So I'll just put Filli Vanilli and be done with it.

And the other way around?

Was this a question of whether I should try to be funny or clever? Or was this a question of whether I should find an episode that I hated that everyone else liked? Well, the fucking movies would be a good fucking start. Since none of them are actually THAT good when compared to the series itself and is more of Hasbro trying to sell butt ugly Barbie dolls. Which is working I'm sad to say.

Any guilty pleasures?

Well, I have a tendency to want to carve up various co-workers of mine with a machete in my basement and post their bloody corpses in Celestia's front yard. Each of them holding up a sign that says 'You're next, bitch!' Does that count?

Fav season premiere and finale?

How can one have a premiere and a finale at the same time? Unless, the episode that began the season also ended the season? I can't say I would be surprised if Hasbro, the money whore that it is, decided that an entire season of My Little Pony would consist of two episodes. It would be a lot cheaper to make and a lot less quality. And yet, people like us would be doped into watching it. Raging about it on the internet, giving it free publicity. And if anyone says 'they'd never do that', I think the Equestria Girls movies are an argument against that. I'm just giving Hasbro ideas at this point, aren't I? But what do I know?

Least fav premiere and finale?

Oh, shit... I used my last skip on that last question. Now, I have to answer the question... Um... the series finale of 'Lost'? What do you want from me?! The question came out of nowhere!

Fav song?

Hm... I don't actually like any songs that our Main (Ha, got it right this time) six actually sing. So, I'm going to refer you to the song I sung based off a song they sing 'Smile, Smile, Smile.' I call it, 'Comments, Comments, Comments.' If you couldn't tell by the title, it's primarily a song about racism.

Least fav song?

Originally, I was going to put down Starfleet Magic's Theme song on here. But I think that I've picked on Mykan enough in this review. So, instead, I'll pick on another alicorn named Soren or the more appropriate title of Roadkill. Roadkill is a singer and most of the shit he sings is unbearable. So, yes. Soren is my least fav singer.

Best villain?

But whoops. Once again, I have to refer myself back to Mykan's brave little train wreck as we talk about the best villain, the Grand Ruler. Now, some of you might be thinking 'Critique, I don't think the Grand Ruler is a villain.' And that my friends, is precisely why he is such a great villain. He's so evil, nobody actually sees it. Everyone goes about their lives as they think they normally would. But in actuality, they are being led on strings that the Grand Ruler is pulling, guiding their lives to make them what he wants. Effectively taking away free will. And he does this without anyone suspecting or even knowing. They just assume that it is how life is. Of course, even if we take away the Grand Ruler from the equation, his subjects are so used to the subjection that he forces on them, telling them how to live their lives, without him they would be like chickens with their brains ripped out of their skulls. With no guide to give them a purpose in their lives.

Also, he's a dick.

Worst villain?

Well, now it's time to get back on subject and talk about the worst villain of MLP. Sombra. I think we've all said what needed to be said about Sombra's five seconds of screen time. It's pretty sad when the 10 minute 'Fall of the Empire' video made by the fucking fans gave him a more diverse vocabulary than 2 fucking episodes did.

What was your favorite memorable Sombra line? My favorite was when he said that unforgettable line... Cryyyyyyysssssssttaaaaaaaaalssssssssss!

These next three questions I've already answered and I'm going to answer them with the same... um... answer...

Like Equestria Girls?
What about Rainbow Rocks?
Looking forward to the third movie?

No.

Speaking of movies, looking forward to the 2017 movie?

Sorry, I meant to say four on that last one. Because like the three before it, I'm sure it will suck. And for those of you who like the Equestria Girls movies... Don't ever talk to me. Ever. Forever.

Now that I've alienated most of the fan base, let's move on to the next part of the quiz...

Fav shippings?

Well, I've got to say the shippings I like are the one directed at me. The ones that give me something I needed or something I didn't even know I wanted. The ones that...

The punch line is UPS.

Shut up!

Least fav shippings?

Fav bronies in the community?

Least fav bronies?

Oh, so now we see why this quiz was really made. So we could see people confess their hatred for certain bronies causing discord throughout the entire brony community. ... Wait a second. I figured it out! It all makes sense now! The chaos! The disorder! The discord! I know who made this quiz!

Q from Star Trek is behind this quiz!

Well, I feel that's enough of the quiz to get me to where I'm basically out of material. So, how was this quiz? ... It's a quiz. It's harmless enough and if you enjoyed the questions, click on the link and take it.

As for me, I've got a story to prepare that isn't MLP related. And I just alienated the few audience members that I have left. Here's to me!

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Hellblazer

Hellblazer #1 · Aug 18th, 2015 · 1 · ·

Sorry, I meant to say four on that last one. Because like the three before it, I'm sure it will suck. And for those of you who like the Equestria Girls movies... Don't ever talk to me. Ever. Forever.