Deadpool in Equestria (D.i.E.). Shorts · 1:15am Aug 12th, 2015
Alright guys, these aren't exactly chapters, but they're shorts for Deadpool in Equestria, since I'm making a sort of Trilogy involving a famous critic and the Equestria Girls films. It's going to take a while, especially with the third not out soon, so I'll try to post these shorts. Got it? Enjoy!
Deadpool, Cable Maud, and Celestia all surrounded the Thing, who was strapped with chains around his feet, hands, & neck to prevent him from escaping.
"What are we doing exactly?" Cable asked
"We're just showing Fox on the disaster them made at a local nerd convention." Deadpool answered
"And what does that mean?"
"Easy: The Thing here is an abomination from the new Fant4stic, and everywhere, not only are marvel fans hating it, but the public as well! This is the only time Marvel will allow DC to kick it in the balls!"
"Nothing's going to happen to my rock, right?" Maud asked
"No physical harm will come to him! At least, fist wise, but he's tough, he'll take anything the people throw at him!"
"I hope you're right."
"And why am I in this... robe?" Celestia asked
"It's not a robe," Deadpool replied "It's a habit!"
"... A habit?"
"Just repeat the word 'Shame' three times, ring the bell, and repeat! I will lead you all. Cable and Maud, protect our... little rock."
"Little rock!?" The CGI thing asked "What's little about me!?"
"Your little rock didn't change in the one place that matters!"
The Thing looked down in shame.
"Cable!" Deadpool yelled "the Portal!!!"
"Whatever." Cable rolled his eyes and opened a portal back to earth. They entered, landing in San Diego Comic Con, where, in a sort of elaborate passage, Stan Lee was in a room, taking questions and answering them. All of the go-lucky Comic Con goers stopped and saw the Thing in chains, along with Deadpool & Cable and Celestia & Maud. Celestia cleared her throat
"Shame... Shame... Shame!" Celestia began with a bell ring. Deadpool lead the way, and, before they knew it, it turned into the "Shame" scene from Game of Thrones, but now, it was nerds dressed up as their different heroes, each booing the at the Thing for the god awful Fantastic 4 reboot! The nerd everywhere threw various snacks and trash at the thing, ruining his rocks all over his body. Cable and Maud pushed some geeks out of the way, but everyone kept to themselves and continued to boo the thing, many throwing his own action figures on his head, some even throwing at where his d**k was suppose to be at. They entered the Stan Lee booth, where the boos began to grow.
"What the-!?" Stan 'The Man' Lee asked in surprise. Deadpool crossed the line with the thing, who was now sniffling at everything: his friends dead, not having a d**k despite being literally hard all over, the people who hate him, and the fact that now he realized that all of his life may be a lie and exploited for money.
"Stan Lee?" Deadpool asked
"...Yes, Ryan Reynolds?"
"I have a question for you."
"With what you're doing, sure!"
"Why didn't you make a cameo in Fant4stic, or the new Fantastic 4 movie!?"
"...Well, if I were like DC, I'd say I was sick, but since I'm an honest guy and you're really fun to hang out with, the truth is... it sucks!" Everyone cheered but the Thing "Oh yeah! I hated the script so much! It was too much like the original on nothing happening, but at least with the original, there was heart in it and you can tell they're a family. Here, there's nothing great about it! They tried to take it too seriously, there was a lack of color, and even then, it was just a bore to sit through! I knew it was bad, and I guess most people here thought it was bad too, am I right!?" Cheering came along.
"Do you think Marvel will get the right back as they did with Spider-Man?"
"...I hope so!"
"We're done here! Ninja vanish!!!" In a puff of smoke and a wormhole, they all diapered and landed back in Equestria. The Thing began to cry like a little b***h.
"Why!?" He begged "Why don't you just kill me!?" Deadpool pulled a can of Pringles out and spoke into it.
"When Fox is in ashes," Deadpool replied in his best Bane voice "Then, you have my permission to die... or at least until Maud is tired of you. Maud!"
"Come on, Mr. Thing," Maud spoke, dragging the Thing. "Let's get you cleaned up."
