Dreams of Dapper Flying · 8:24pm Jul 20th, 2015
Loopy, Loony, Luna. The majority of the fan base seems to adore Luna, our lonely, misunderstood princess that had been plagues by a Nightmare creature. What better to help heal those wounds and introduce her to the real world than a special somepony? Let's give a round of applause to Big Mac, the lucky dog who caught the princess of the night's eyes.
Let's get the ball rolling, Luna's been feeling out of touch with life. Not that hard to imagine, you've got obedient (yes men) guards who hang on to her every word and Canterlot's royal cliques. Wanting to find an outlet from her daily life, she decides to find somepony to love and definitely shot for the stars on her on this one. Big Mac, Ponyville's gentle giant who can pull a house from its foundations with a tug. Wonderful, at least in thought. The boat wasn't rocked it was flipped over as soon as Luna's decision came to light. Celestia, in her infinite wisdom, debates the idea of having somepony like Mac, one that Luna hasn't talked with often to begin with, would make a suitable lover.
This part of the story caught my attention. Celestia certainly raised valid points immediately, a little too fast. She dotes on the fact that Mac is a farmer, doesn't hold any political position, no known titles or links to royalty and the uproar that ensue within Canterlot's 'elite'. Perhaps this wasn't the first time a princess had found somepony and it ended on a tragic note. Is this Celestia protecting Luna from a heartbreak or does Celestia not approve that her choice in stallions is the best for Luna to pursue?
Well, in a very Macintosh (Apple Family-esque) manner, Luna just shows up on the Apple's front door asking permission to come in. This train derailed three chugs out of the station. The scene played out like a bashful fifteen year old girl asking out an oblivious young man. Words are jumbled, awkward phrasing ensues and its very adorable. Sad part is, even Mac notices that the status between the two is miles long, to be polite however, he doesn't outright say no. Macintosh agrees to spending the night with Luna, seeing as there's no polite about turning down a fine mare like her. I'd say this is the point that turns Equestria on its ears. Watching Luna, the pony who moves the moon, alongside Big Mac, residential stud, walking into a rave? Que the Micheal Bay parade of explosions going off in everypony's heads as they watch these two dance the night away. We need to see the inside of Vinyl's dance club in an episode one of these days.
A chain (more like barbwire) of events starts to come together. Luna asks for advice on dating in this time, who does her best but love is still as fickled as it was before Luna's banishment. Despite being the labeled Princess of Love, Cadance doesn't have an exact formula for hooking up pones. Save for that make ponies fall in love thing spell she has which I don't think is that good of an idea to use on Luna. Again, the issue with 'what's everypony going to say' is brought up. Cadance doesn't fear as much as Celestia does, pointing out the fact that Luna's Night Court doesn't usually deal with the aristocrats or barons like Celestia does. As these two talk, another pair set into motion. Our loveable, well respected, royal Prince Blueblood sniffs out an opportunity after eavesdropping on Luna's private conversations. Not one to pass such a chance up, he enlists the services of one, Red Tape. Red wants to settle a score with the Apple Family and he's got Celestia's own nephew backing his ventures to dig up the dirt on them. Blue boy certainly has something tucked up his tuxedo sleeve if he's vying to get power over his own aunt and the means he's using tell me there's no 'low' here.
A similar minded individual yet with a noble intention seeks to stop any further engagements by removing Mac out of the picture. Now, I do wonder if the Royal Guard is compiled of nothing more than base minded ponies. Jump when I say, speak when I say. I think Diamond Dogs would've been easier to train and employee. Mourne, a bat pony in service to Luna, decides to bump off Macintosh to cease any whispers or discontent affecting his mistress. Dropping off Macintosh onto the top of his, Mourne makes it explicitly clear he doesn't care what he needs to do to protect the princess. Going in for the kill, Mourne's own blind pride overlooks Mac's raw power. Macintosh isn't trained in hand to hand (hoof to hoof w/e) combat but he does take down the wannabe assassin and beat the living hell out of him. Just as the knockout punch is about to be dropped, Mac is knocked unconscious by slipping off the roof and landing him in Ponyville Hospital.
The bad news keeps coming as Luna learns of these events and attends to Mac in the hospital. Diving into the sleeping pony's mind, she discovers one of her own guards caused this. All Tartarus breaks out as Luna confronts Mourne, who feebly defends his actions, asking why he would fall down such a twisted path. Nightmare Moon begins to surface, darkness pouring out of the once pure princess, coming close to Mourne. Though pure chance, Mac hauls his broken butt out of bed and calms Luna, bringing her back to harmony. Placing Mourne under arrest, Luna continues on with her, rather awkward, second date with Mac by his side in the hospital.
Now, insanity is doing the same action but expecting different results which leads me to believe that Mourne has flew over the cuckoo nest. Deciding that his holy mission to protect Luna still hasn't been fulfilled, he decides to appeal to a higher power. Celestia. Knocking out the guard at the hospital, he flies towards Canterlot in hopes of trying to convince the Sun Princess to change Luna's mind. Sneaking into the Day Court, Mourne sees first hand as to what his actions have caused. Emberfire, Captain of the Nightguard, wishes to resign from his post, causing Mourne to throw away his disguise and reveal himself. The court is thrown in a Discord level riot as they try to learn about who this mysterious stallion that has gained Luna's favor. Mourne fails to keep his lips locked as he reveals even more information until Celestia silences, literally, everypony present.
The tragic part is that Mourne isn't stupid, well he is but life has been cruel in the most evilest of ways to him. After experiencing a horrific loss, he's come to loathe any type of noble or rich pony. Ironic, since he's surrounded by those morons on a daily basis and sworn to uphold the peace in Canterlot. Having said his piece, he's reduced in rank and tasked with protecting Macintosh. That almost made me want to stop reading. You want to place the attempted murderer in the house of the possible victim? Pray Mac isn't going up on the roof again any time soon.
Luna doesn't escape from this unscathed. Following Mourne's exile to Ponyville, the press and paparazzi lunge on the chance like sharks smelling blood in the water. Reporters come in droves to dig up the newest scoop to see to the highest bidder. Guess the sense of journalistic integrity is dead even in fanficiton world too. Revealing Mac as her new coltfriend to the world, the mass media event turns sour as personal questions and doubts of Luna going Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde are asked. Before an episode happens, that more than likely would've been with smoldering ashes where these pones once stood, Celestia closes the curtains on this, halting further questioning.
The story ends on a rather unusual note. Big Mac and Luna spend the night together, enjoying each others company. Behind the scenes, Red Tape has come up empty hoofed. Nothing damning is found in the Apple's records, not even a simple ticket or fine. Blueblood proposes that setting up a false felony or blank charge would propel in the right direction. Red jumps on the plan but demands that the spoiled brat help him out, with this being a partnership. Red's not an idiot, he's well aware of Blue's reputation and he's easily expendable in the long run. The two know that the other will stab each other in the back to come walk out without a scratch.
The story flows like a river, smoothly and keeps you engaged. Certain parts with the exposition are rather blunt, informing you of what the subtext is. No real discretion with emotions takes away from how one interprets a story. At times, I find myself amazed how I could overlook the outcome with all of the clues present. Here, its rather telling in what's going to happen next in a few of the key situations.
Few grammatical mistakes are found at the beginning but they dry up in future chapters. Personally, I think thoughts should be italicized to let me know, as the reader, what's being told and how a character interprets what's going on in the world around them.
Final Verdict: 8.5/10. Why don't we see more romance (not smut) about the Royal Sisters? They have needs just like anypony else and who would say otherwise? Other part of me wants to know what Blue is trying to do. Is he gunning for a throne or does he harbor a deeper secret against his aunts? Maybe it'll be concluded in the sequel, Dreams of Falling
A lovely review, good sir. Thank you. :)
In truth the whole Mourne subplot kind of spun out of control very quickly in the writing. :/ He was meant to be a bit of a throwaway character, a potential patsy for Blueblood, and instead he turned into this complicated, confused character who was trying to do the right thing for all the wrong reasons, or the wrong thing for all the right ones. I will freely admit to flying by the seat of my pants in those chapters and I think it shows in places.
I'm glad you stuck with me through it! I did consider writing Mourne out after everything came to a head and, let's be honest, I think few folks who read the story would have been sad to see him go. But, for me, MLP has always been a show about second chances and redemption, Luna knowing that better than most, so instead I thought it would be more fitting for him to serve his penance withers-deep in manure and mud.
We'll come back to Mourne in Dreams of Falling, but hopefully he won't try and derail my plot QUITE as badly this time around.
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Alright, alright. Be sure to tell your friends about this, I enjoy hearing what others think.
Congratulations man. You and many others put in a lot of work into the story and it got a great review. Nicely done!