FAMfiction.net · 10:08pm Jul 19th, 2015
A: Hey there Billy, What are you doing?
B: I'm trying to write My Little Pony fan fiction...
A: Why are you doing that?
B: Because it's fun!
A: Are you sure about that? Are you sure that it isn't about being a serious writer and such and have constructive criticism and all that good writer stuff?
B: Um...no....I'm doing it because it's fun...
A: well it's your lucky day, because I have a site for you there Billy where you can do all of those things and become a fantastic writer when you have your career sometime in the future as a writer!
B: I don't want to be a writer, I just want to write for fun...
A: Don't be silly Billy, no one writes for fun...everything must be taken seriously...now I'll give you the grand tour of the site.
B: Ok...I guess...
A: Now, this site is called FAMfiction.net. Now I know it sounds a little like FIMfication.net...
B: It kind of does...
A:Shut up Billy...however, we're better than FIMfiction. We're just like FIMfiction but better in every possible way you could think of.
B: Well I guess, I suppose I can put my stories on there...for fun....
A: Great Billy! That's the spirit to becoming a great writer! Now I'll show you all the good things to look forward to do on the site.
First things first, a story! Here at FAMfiction.net, we understand that you want to write a story...well here, you can unleash your imagination and have great amount of creativity....you just need to sign on the bottom line that you agree that you will not include several things when you unleash your imagination and creativity...such as:
-Not Using the color green
-Using copyrighted material
-Using anything but MLP
-Only using the word Harrowing every five sentences
-You can't have imagination
-You can only use the creativity that we say you can use
-You can't have a robot humping a frog
-No song lyrics
-No words that has the letter P
-It has to be realistic
-Every time that a new episode airs, the story must be updated properly
-No offending jokes
-No liberals
-No smoking
-No butt fucking
-No anal (That's just gross)
-And much more many rules that you are not allowed to do when you unleash your imagination and creativity that we will not say and if so, will get you banned if you don't follow these rules...
B:That doesn't sound very...
A:Billy....remember...I'm the creator of this website...and clearly I'm always right you slave...I mean consumer...bitch...
Now on to the rest of the site. Now if you're new to writing, don't worry, we have a very easy and simple guide to showing how to write. Just follow the fifteen thousand page document on how to write like a pro, you'll be on your start to being a good writer in no time!
B: I don't think this is how Writing is done...
A:Oh Billy...you must understand...this is what is required for a good story...because a bunch of people somewhere that they think that they can never be wrong and decide on what is right and what is wrong for writing a story said so...
B:Uh...who decided that?...
A:None of your concern Billy...
Now aside from the tips on how to write like a pro...just remember, after that...you don't get any help at all. You're on your own...and we think that's just fantastic!
B: That doesn't sound fantastic...
A: Of course it does...we said so...and besides Billy...that is not how the real world works...
B: But this is the Internet...
A: Be quiet Billy...
Now also keep in mind that you only succeed if you're the best of the best...and we only take the best of the best...just like Equestria Daily, FImfiction, Creepypasta.wiki, Bilp, and so many more. So if you suck at writing and you're the weakling, then we're going to purge your ass like Hitler purging the Jews
B:Wait...that doesn't...
A:Now Billy...don't worry about not being the best of the best...you can still stay on if you like...just remember that you will not be acknowledged whatsoever and you will have no friends because no one on the site wants to talk to illiterate fools...despite how friendly and kind you might be. Just remember Billy...that's not how the real world works...and if you need an explanation...well then remember how you were in school and was taught Natural selection...only the best gets to survive and win and be successful...
B: But this is the Internet...the Internet is nothing like the real world...
A:Be quiet Billy...
Also, if you make one mistake on the website and break a rule that is not even mentioned at all...we'll ban your ass and you will never be coming back...ever...remember...in real life, you don't get second chances....
But don't worry...there is still an alternative....The Pony Fiction Archive...but then you'll realize no one even remembers that site, goes on it, or even knows about it and all you want to do is beg while on your knees to come back to the best site ever...FAMfiction.net...
Now as for the selection of stories that you can read on our amazing site, and you would like to read the best from the best of stories rated people like you, and people by you...you can just view the home page and go to the broken Featured Box...where even we're not sure what becomes featured. You will get amazingly rated stories such as Clop, slice of life stories that go absolutely no where, clop, your mamma, clop, stupid one shot stories like Scootaloo needs to pee, Sweetie Belle reads a book, and Twilight plays Chess with Spike...and clop...isn't that just amazing Stories!?
B:Not really....
A:And don't worry...there are plenty of teen rated stories that are also popular...why? Because teens come on to our site all the time and they just want something they can relate to and be a rebel...
B:That doesn't make any sense...
A:Of course it does Billy...don't be silly...
Now we also have an amazing staff of reading moderators and mods...that absolutely do shit. For example, if you report a threat from a user and it's completely fake, the mods won't give two shits about it and just ban you like a mother fucker...
B:That sounds like bad stuff...I mean...shouldn't they investigate it and...
A:Now Billy...remember...they have lives of their own and they can't just spend most of their time investigating...
B:Can't you just get people who have the time to dedicate themselves to the site and...
A:Don't be silly...
You also have people that are harsh on the site...but remember...that's how the real world works. We even have our own site haters as well, they just complain but yet never do anything g about how to fix the sight at all, because we either banned them, distracted them, or they are just a bunch of liars...that or have very little power and can never ever voice their own opinion...
We even have Bronies on the site that they say they are mature...but really they have a bunch of Bullshit in their mouths...
Now that's just a little bit of everything that you will find on our amazing website! So...what did you think Billy? Are you ready to sign up and give us your soul...in which you can never escape our site...ever...?
B: I just want to say...that this doesn't not sound like a good site whatsoever. It sounds like you're limiting us to what we can create and imagine...but that's not being imaginative or creative. That's just saying we're free to do whatever you say.
You're also implying that just because a bunch of people determined on what is good writing means that it is the only right thing to do, but that shouldn't be the case. there should be more than one right thing on to write a story...not just one right thing and that's it. And you're assuming everyone is wanting to be a good writer, but that isn't the case sometimes. Some writers just do it for fun and don't want to bother with what is good writing.
sometimes that's the fun part of writing, writing what you want. And if you're new, you're putting way too much pressure on them to know how to write off the bat and expect them to be the absolute best or else they will fail. Sure, that's true in some cases, but not in this case.
I mean this is a website...sure some things on the Internet are meant to be taken seriously, but this is a fan fiction website, where you can write out of your heart, write with your imagination without limits, or at least some limits that is, as you do need some sort of rules. Why are you takings too seriously...this is the internet after all... And I can understand sometimes you can only be given on chances to not mess up, but this is a website, you should be at least given one or two more chances. And as for not having any friends...they are still good people on the site you just need to trust.
Sure, they may not be able to spell correctly all the time, but can you blame them? If you expect everyone to be perfect with everything that they do, then you're trying to push for something that cannot be done. And as what you told me about what kind of stories that gets featured...that just shows that not everyone likes different things. I can understand those types of stories being popular, but why only those? Why not something different for once?
And as far as what your staff does, you should create a system that works and investigate reports and such and not just assume and consider if the report is telling the truth or not. And as for being mature...well no one is mature, all you can do is be the most mature that you can be.
As for the haters...well perhaps you should listen to them...then again it's always majority rules, but still, at least listen...what I'm getting at is why do you do what you do?
A:What's that? I didn't hear you because there was a bunch of bullshit in your mouth...Well there you have it...the amazing site of FAMfiction.net. So what are you waiting for? Come on down to FAMficition.net....it's the real world kiddies!
Ok... Too many crazy things in only one post... Congratulations.
I fucking laugh my ass off
Would you like some cheese with that whine Billy?
Seriously though I laughed so hard at this, you made my morning!
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Glad to make you all laugh...