This All Has Been Quite Unexpected! · 4:39am Jul 27th, 2012
Hello everyone! My endless thanks to all of you for your support and comments on "You Brighten My Day". I never expected this to be so popular. And in some ways I'm still quite amazed that it is. This has blown away all of my previous fics! The number of likes and and favorites just leaves me half in awe. And the story is really just beginning. I hope I continue to do it justice for all of you.
This story has come a long way form the original concept I had for it. This was just going to be a simple 2nd-person clopfic/romance where Celestia comes to Earth (for the same reason I ended up detailing, but it was going to be more of an after thought). Anyway after meeting the human, a spark was going to form that would lead to a night of heated passion, in all it was only going to be a chapter or two with no real story. But as I mulled over this idea, and started sharing it's impending release with all of you, I decided to make it something more. And apparently I have done just that. I'd reveal more of this stories origin, but some of those elements are still going to appear in the actual story, so I don't want to spoil anything.
Though one thing does have me a little puzzled. I keep getting the odd comment stating that the dialogue is either weak, wrong or terrible. Now 330+ trackers and 224 up votes would suggest otherwise. But if any of you would be kind enough to let me know if the dialogue is seriously lacking, I'd appreciate knowing. If it really sucks, I want to improve it. I'm going to do my best to improve the dialogue in Chapter 3. So far I have a pretty good start.
(EDIT: Your comments are very appreciated. Though they have left me wondering if I shouldn't do a major re-write in chapter 2 now. I had considered having Celestia not reveal her status as princess. I only had her do so, because I wanted to illustrate her desire to break away from being royalty. Now I admit in some ways that seems out of character for her. But if you look at her as just being another pony (not an immortal goddess) it's not impossible for her to have the same flaws as other ponies. And who knows what all Chrysalis's effortless defeat of her has done for her emotional well-being. We can't actually get inside her head or ask her how she feels. So my story does need to be taken with a grain of salt. And after ruling for roughly 1,500 years (give of take a few centuries), I wanted to portray her as being exhausted from her station as princess. That's why she didn't want Daniel to fuss so much over her. Daniel may not have acted too uncomfortable around her, but he's notably in shock. How often do you meet an alicorn princess. He's still accepting the fact that she isn't just a figment of his imagination. Then she drops the bomb of being a princess with special powers.
I also hope you will all bear in mind that this is based off an idea that was originally a clopfic. Now if you're looking for a award-winning 5 star 11/10 story, you may be disappointed. But if you are looking for a story that will leave you feeling touched, happy and looking at Celestia in a new light, well that I can deliver to you. I had a feeling the first few chapters might be a little rough, but I can assure you that as the two characters grow closer, the quality should vastly improve. Maybe I should have taken a different approach and just started with events further down the road. But a number of you seemed interested in seeing the initial formation of their romance. I'll keep moving forward for now, but if things don't seem to improve to my liking, I may do some major revising to this.)
With that said, thanks again for your support and I've saved the best piece of news for last! Shortly after I posted Chapter 2, I made a wonderful discovery! "You Brighten My Day" actually made it in the feature box! And one of my fans posted a comment stating that it lasted there for an hour! Not too bad if I do say so myself. =D Now since seeing is believe, I took a screen cap to commemorate this little victory! I only hope I can continue to prove worthy of such a triumph. I know it's thanks to all of you that this was even possible. Thanks again for your support! =D
Here is the screen cap:
I live for undying support.
CONGRATS.
I think the reason for the comments would be that the better something is, the more it's flaws glare at the audience. You don't think about the individual flaws for something that is all around terrible, but when it's something really good with few flaws, those few flaws seem all the more noticeable.
I won't lie, your dialogue is kind of stilted in places. It's probably your weakest point, to be honest.
You should probably work on using synonyms more often as well, I seem to remember there being multiple instances where you use the same word over again, when using aforementioned synonyms would certainly spice things up a bit.
I would suggest getting a good pre-reader and/or editor to help structure your dialogue and such better; I know this is what pretty much everyone says, but it's true.
I would offer you my services, but I'm kind of occupied with editing another story at the moment, as well as the fact that I most likely will be unable to access the internet for a while. Plus the fact that I need to get to writing my own story...
Sorry I'm not being very specific, but I do hope that you take my advice into account. I'd love to see your story become all it can be, without being limited by silly technical issues.
Until next time, I wish you the best. Have a Pinkie.
Most stories no matter how great have little flaws, I get bugged by all the simple spelling mistakes, or the wrong word placement in a story and I almost snap from my inner Spelling/Grammar Nazi
Well, I am one of the ones who tracked and up voted and I gotta say in all honesty.... Daniel's dialogue comes across as a bit stilted. Despite the revelation of Celestia's station Daniel does not show sufficient discomfort to justify the stiffness in parts of his dialogue. Though that brings up another flaw, reveling that she is royalty is counter productive to any romance/clop plot not involving a cheap "Molestia" cop out.
What? YOU asked!
>This has blown away all of my previous fics
Remove "away", then refer to this picture:
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png
252522
Thanks for your support!
252527
I agree with you.
252565
I will take you suggestion into account. Thank you.
252615
Your comment is fine and has given me plenty to think about. In fact check the blog for an edit.
252627
252671 Like I've said, doors still open for editing help XD Although I'm very happy to see how far the story has come. I am surprised that a clopfic inspired this because it honestly doesn't feel that way.
252565 So I heard you need to get to writing your own story dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Derpy_Hooves_lolface.png
252671 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
252715
Quiet, you.
I'm working on it. It'll be done when it's done.
252720 a.deviantart.net/avatars/o/k/okayfaceplz.png
Glad you're happy and well.
I web seeing authors do good, especially when they aren't snobby douches that expect to be featured with the first story they put up! (you don't know who you aren't)
In other news, YOU NEED TO GO READ ALL THOSE DARN UPDATES, BRO.
I've been enjoying your story so far, and look forward to reading more.
You have my support %100 and I will NEVER stop supporting you.. The only way for me to stop supporting is when my breathing comes to a hault. Brony On!!!
th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2011/283/6/7/dash_salute_wallpaper_by_midnite99-d4ch2vc.jpg
252753
Thanks for your support. I honestly don't see a need to act like some writers. While it's my hopes to get featured, it's hardly the end of the world if I don't. I just want to share stories that entertain people. I fully understand that I can't please everyone.
Now as for the updates, are you referring to the general site Updates? If you are I have been checking on them regularly. I also read the one regarding revisions and rewrites. If I would do any rewrites, it would be done within the existing story. Though at present I'm not planning any.
252868
Glad to hear it!
252927
I am glad to have your support! You've been supporting me for a while now. It's greatly appreciated!
253351
Nope, the story updates.
30+ stories need to be read on your part... Although, I guess if you do, you want be able to get us another chapter of your story! 
I will support you by telling some of my battlelog bronies to come by to check out your stories
255224
Thank you for your support! Oh and I see you've switched Avatar pics again. This one is nice, but your Derpy Hooves Avatar from when you first commented on "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts" is still my favorite.
>255651Thanks,but I might change my avatar a lot
