Going insane and sad I think. · 6:30am Jul 5th, 2015
1998 to 2015.
17 years of life.
Huh......Mobile school, home school, bullied, made fun of, failed a lot, got slapped and kicked by dad a few times, had friends....who weren't really friends, became all alone when home school, stuck with dad, stayed his babysitter and doing everything for him essentailly, I never got to live as a kid.
My dad went through cancer, and lived at a hospital.
For about almost 2 years.
THrough that time, I was either home alone, or Grandma was there to visit.
Either way, I was alone all the time. Mom goes to work, Dad at his hospital, and me at home.
I've been home alone when I was 10-14 a couple of times. I even get to be home alone when my cousin doesn't come over on saturdays.
On them days, I always thought that I would be alone and never find friends or anything in life.
.....Nobody would understand the pain and sorrow I went through when I was younger. If you do though...just know that my dad had cancer for almost 7 years. and 4 of them years I was home alone most of the time.
I tried killing myself a few times, from the emotional hurt and pain that I had. No friends, no family.....all alone.
It wasn't fun. Runnning away for two hours in the snow a year ago in February was a time.
This is gonna sound sad, but that run away was probably the greatest day I ever had. No being a maid for dad, no getting yelled at no nothing, just a calm stroll through the country......
Every day is the worst day. When I had friends, I felt betrayal at one time from the few friends I actually had........and when I went to another mobile school....
It was horrible. Shoes off, had to walk through a forest with my socks...and I ruined an event.....horrible man I am. I even pulled my pants down..twice, cause I was annoyed by some stuff I don't want to talk about.
Teacher finds me, I immediately start crying. That...was probably the last time I ever really cried in my life. And I was about 14 when that happened.
Lonely life is lonely........I had dreams of where I hang myself, shoot myself, and just fall off a cliff and die.
I was so emotionally destroyed and broken from the life I had that....I just want to die...so young.
I mean, this is just 17 years. What will my other years be like?
Complete despair and pain. I tried making friends, I failed hard at it. I tried being upbeat and try and keep the thoughts out of my head, but my brain would always bring them back. I'm sorry.
I'm wasting you're time I know.....I'll just say it out there.
The longer this goes, I will go mentally insane and have to go to a psychology asylum :(.
Oh my god... dude... I... I'm sorry... I didn't know how much you've gone through...
I don't know what I can say that will help... All I can say is that I will always be here for you, bro. Whether you need advice or just need to blow off steam... I'll be here.
I am such an idiot for not checking my feed sooner...
I am so so so sorry... I always knew that people had it worse than me (though sone times I found it hard to believe) but geez... *hugs tight and doesn't let go* You seem to act all goofy and carefree when talking to me (for the most part), which is fine and all, but you know you can talk to me about other stuff too right? I want to help and sometimes all it takes is someone who will listen. I can be that person. I want to help, if you'll let me. Geez, Chris... *hugs again*
It's getting late where I am, but if you need to talk, then I promise I'll be there for you ASAP, okay?
I'm sorry, my friend. I know how you feel. You shouldn't have to feel this way.
I'll message you again when I can. Just send a message, or wait for mine, however you want to do it. Even if you just need to vent, I'll help as much as I can.
I know it's hard on you but venting like you did must have had effort...
But I've been through something like this before and all I need was help from a friend...
I might not be your closest friend or family but remember this I will always be here for you
hey sorry for all this crap going on in ur life. i know life can suck for anyone some worse than others and we each have our own way of dealing with them. But if I learned anything is that the support u get from others helps u through this. I see u as a charismatic person here with just friendliness written on u. u have a lot of people who care and want to help u. they may not be there physically to help u but it still makes a difference. we care about u man. Again i'm sorry about all this that happened to u
My friend though you have went through unbearable times remember our win make us. Happy but we are defined by how many times we are knocked down and get back up I'm no stranger to rough times by all accounts no one expected me to survive to 20 but here I am my only advice use your experience to further yourself then when you achieve you can say I didn't let my past rule my future
Life will throw curveball after curveball at you. don't let it stop you and I'm sorry you had to go through all that but you are not alone. you have friends and we my not be their physically but we are here for you. If you ever want to talk pm me I'll listen
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Thanks...
3208526 Thank you
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We love you, bro. I didn't put you down as my internet brother for nothing.
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(Hugs you tightly and protectively)
3209325 Yay,,,,*Unenthusiastic*
3209303 *hugs*