Chapter 19 "The Twister and Honey Tongue" modification · 4:00am Jun 10th, 2015
I finally found my original version of the quest Discord gives to Honey Tongue, and modified the published version to be closer to it. Here's the new version:
"On the Mountains of the Sun, the Sun Mare dwells. Let her plead to me for Noble Heart's return. When this happens, I will consider returning Noble Heart to you, whole and sane." His eyes flared dangerously. "Fail to do this, and I will keep both Noble Heart and yourself as my guests, and I cannot promise that either of your minds will long survive my hospitality. You have ... oh, forever ... to do this, though I doubt that you'll be able to quest very well in a century or so, so I'd get started if I were you, if you want to finish your quest in this lifetime."
I think that's much more DIscord-y. Note the changes in the key terms.
Oh dear. Granted, the return of the one Discord sees as his only intellectual equal might make him consider the idea seriously, but that's far from guaranteed.
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Yes, that was the key difference in the two versions which made me decide I had to make the change. Plus, the "plead for to me" is simply more dramatic, and Discord loves drama.