Where I'm at right now. · 6:24pm Apr 24th, 2015
Hey everyone,
I think it's important I now explain to you my current situation, to tell you where I am emotionally/mentally at the moment, both me personally and my writing.
I've been feeling... pretty wound up and stressed lately. It's partly my Asperger's, amongst other things. Lemme explain: I've been feeling very insecure and out of routine with being on work holiday; routine is important to me, so that lack of stability can get to me. I've been unable to relax and wind-down, I've had a serious lack of sleep, I've been drinking too much beer, etc. And a result, I think my writing, as well as relationships with family is suffering.
It's also worth pointing out that I'm always subject to, not burnout, but 'rotating interests', a symptom of Asperger's Syndrome. As one internet personality who also has it describes it,
"One week you're absolutely passionate about something, and know everything there is to know. The next week it becomes an absolute slog and it's completely and horribly draining. You can force it, but... well, the results..."
http://mrenter.deviantart.com/journal/Willpower-and-Life-528042022
Is that what's been happening with That Special Relationship and why the second chapter is taking so long? Possibly, Partially. I've lost a lot of the passion and drive of writing the second chapter and frankly, if I don't have the enthusiasm in writing something, I shouldn't force myself to do because the quality suffers as a result. After all, writing fanfiction is something I want to do because I enjoy it; if I can't enjoy/have fun with what I'm doing, it's turns from a hobby to a job. Which it really shouldn't be and just adds unnecessary stress.
True, at some points in writing Maternal Instinct, it did become cumbersome and tiring, but I still had an emotional investment in the characters and wanted to see it through to the end. And with Citizen Weevil, it's that laid-back Slice-of-Life to it as well as the (ironically) human-like character that drives me to write more, which is what I'm actually doing at a more leisurely pace right now. With Special Relationship, I need to think about what I even want it to be and right now, I'm not entirely sure.
The final point I want to bring up is gonna sound a bit odd, but... I really do need to learn to step and not become so overly invested and seriously in regards to MLP and fandoms in general. As part of my Asperger's, my interests can be intense, and sure there's nothing wrong with having an investment in a show and its character, I acknowledge there has to be a point where I've got to step back and remember that it's ultimately just a cartoon/show and not get so wound up over it like I have been. For example, I often got worked up by fandom interpretations and headcanons that I forget it's a show and then a time comes when I suddenly think "What am I doing? I'm putting too much energy in this silly dispute" and it just feels so tiring. Why just recently, I've been greatly concerned how the Fiendship is Magic comic microseries is gonna handle Chrysalis and how it'll impact my own headcanon and when you read that back that just sounds like such a ridiculous thing to get wound up about. It all stops me from actually ENJOYING the show I'm a fan of.
Or at the very least, if I'm gonna get invested in these characters, I should at least diversify that selection of characters, hence things like that Starlight Glimmer oneshot. For me, it's been about chrysalis and changelings constantly for some time and it can't always be like that. If I have the time, I might tinker on some of those stories, to at least try something different, I dunno.
So bottom line: I need to get more sleep, drink less and overall lighten up; writing something I enjoy doing and not taking it all so damn seriously. It's not good for me and I seriously need to change it.
And for my writing, I think I'm gonna have to put Special Relationship on hold for at least some time (think things through), write Citizen Weevil at my leisure and maybe tinker with other NON-changeling projects.
I thank you all for listening. Do know I highly appreciate it.
Warmest of regards,
Magic Man
Easing up on the beer is good. Do all things in moderation.
It is advice I ignore.
This should have been tagged with Special Relationship to reach its fans, as it announces the hiatus of the story, more or less.
'Rotating interests' isn't an illness but 'society of high specialization' is.
My usual strategy to fix problems is to fuel them until they collapse under they own gravitational forces. My advice thus: break routine even more, get yourself into a car and drive up to / down to Nothingham, where they will organize a charity music festival for Awareness for Autism and RACPA UK (Noize Level Critical Rockin For The Children - Sale of tickets stops soon!). Take a leap into unfamiliar territory and allow your mind to recap more freely.
Oh, and there's a chance of me visiting England, as I'm currently organising my festival session of the year. The gods are playing against it though: the two festivals I'd be interested in most overlap with two festivals I'm already planning to go to: The Lunar Festival in Warwickshire overlaps with the Out & Loud Festival in Geiselwind, and the Bloodstock in Derbyshire overlaps with M'Era Luna in Hildesheim. Argh!
...But yes, yes, you hear right, my MLP-addicted comrade. There's a Lunar Festival in England, starting at 5th June. And to make England even more Equestria-esque, two weeks before the Sunrise Celebration is taking place in Wales, I kid you not. That literally gives England the same celebration Equestria has. I wonder if Celestia attends? And Discord has his English personification as a festival too! The HogSozzle Music Festival in Hertfordshire celebrates the ridiculousness of life itself. So don't you work yourself all up about worrying about MLP too much: it obviously lays in your English blood!
Next week there's both the Troyfest somewhere around Hay-on-Wye happening as well as the Masked Ball in West Cornwall, so I might pop up in England that soon, just like that. Because I'm alive and thus I can.
It's often the best way not to look into things too deep. The Thracian way of life is something we forget to easily, and finding a connection to Dionysus can make life much more colourful -- a distrust against his murder, Socrates, is more than justified by that.
I didn't even know you had aspergergs...
3013324 BEST ADVICE TO IGNORE EVER!!!