Neon Alicorn: Celestialgelion (Season 5 Premeire Review) · 12:21am Apr 5th, 2015

Like a pony who tries to force equality...rise up young mare and make yourself a legend.

Season 5 Premiere Review

So this season kind of slipped under my nose. I nearly forgot that this was even going to be a thing after it first being mentioned. With no date of it's release or whatever I just left it for the better series that I got attached to over the past few months figuring out who the best Crystal Gem was. But lo and behold, I found the season 5 premiere and I decided to give it a curious look and see where I stand on the series that went on a year long haitus.

It opens up like the Comic Con trailers showed. Nothing new from this point. Though I'm still amused on why Spike stayed behind

"Yeah, ya'll bitches go on and save the world. I'm just gonna trade Hoofball stats with my Big Mac. Might get a foot massage from my servants in the Crystal Empire."

Jokes aside, them finally explaining why the guy is behind is welcome, but this isn't new information.

We head on down to Communist City, with Pinkie Pie being reasonably skeptical. Like...unreasonably skeptical for Pinkie Pie. For a second I saw a flash of a good character . But of course they have to offset that by making another character fucking ridiculously retarded.

Fluttershy: Oh these ponies that follow us, stare at us with creepy, rapist smiles and constantly talks about equality in Equilist fashion are sure nice. I don't think your suspicions are justified you meanies.

Then again she did believe a guy named Discord would never betray her so...you can't really cure gullibility in a year.

So then we get to the character that will probably play a role in the season as time goes by, especially with the travel system now in place. Starlight Glimmer

Unlike the past 3 villains, this one was actually really interesting. And what helps is that she isn't some giant fire spewing monster that is ultra powerful. She's weak, she's manipulative and quite bitchy...but that's her charm. This show doesn't need their villains to be shadow monsters like Sombra. They don't have to be giant beast that blows up homes like Tirek. They don't have to be complete garbage like Sunset. What makes the best villains are the ones with ideology that, while misguided, you can understand. She also screamed at Twilight and halted her bullshit friendship speach, so...props to that

She's not my favorite villain. That still goes to Chrysalis...but she is the second best one in the series, without a doubt.

So we find out where those cutie marks went..and it involves th...

Wait...no...that's not th...WAIT....THA...

IT IS! IT'S THE FUCKING LANCE OF LONGINUS! Even in it's use, as it pierces barriers. Fuck whatever else it was called, this just became Neon Alicorn.

Anytime a kids show blatantly makes a reference to Evangelion, you know what they're trying to go for. Now we just need everyone to turn into orange tang and we'll be fine

The story in and of itself was pretty enjoyable. Again, Starlight makes for a great villain who I hope returns again in the later episodes. For the most part the characters were doing alright (except Fluttershy) and I was glad that it was a colaborative effort of all parties instead of Twilight spreading her alicorn wings and fixing everything. Speaking of that, I'm really really really glad they aren't really tacking that shit in. It's as if they want you to forget about the stupid transformation as much as I want to. Though still, Twilight, as long as you have those wings, use them. Otherwise I'll clip them with the Lance of Longinus.

I was....actually relatively surprised. I was digging the idea from the beginning but if the execution was poor I would have shat on it. I can't really do it this time though. Good job writers.

I give this 9 Lances out of 10. Season 5's start is quite the specticle, and is better than I thought it would be (quite honestly I thought it would be meh) but despite this I'm still gonna take the rest of the season with a grain of salt. It has this habit of being good at the beginning of the season, trudging through the mid bits and trying to pick up the pieces at the end, and sometimes failing. But regardless, I did enjoy this and am curious where it leads. Just...just pray we don't see this imagery.

On second thought...that would be pretty badass.

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#1 · Apr 5th, 2015 · · ·

That last bit...

TheMyth

TheMyth #2 · Apr 5th, 2015 · · ·

Aside from Apple first advertisement and George Orwell's 1984 novel... I'm glad someone else picked up on the Neon Genesis Evangelion reference with the Staff of Sameness looking like the Spear of Longinus from the anime/manga...