Jul
7th
2012
Character and Author Q&A · 9:12pm Jul 7th, 2012
Hello there, I'm finding myself a bit bored today... so, I made this!
Here's how this is going to work: You can ask any character from any of my stories a question. (Or you could ask Zong The Nefarious something but that guy's such a loser.) Basically that character will answer your question to the extent of their current knowledge in their respective story.
So, please ask a question!
P.S. I won't tell anything that would ruin the plot or reveal story-lines, Also they will have no memory of speaking to any of you.
My fictional characters are ready to answer your questions!
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Zong The Nefarious · 297 views
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>Or you could ask Zong The Nefarious something
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Gaius. The first thing you can think of. Okay, you got it? Now. Would you f$@# it?
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Before Gaius can answer the question, Blacktooth walks into the room and sits down next to him, scratching his ear with his back leg. Gaius then looks back to you and says, "No."
Okay how about... Open question to Princess Luna. Do you own a saddle? And a last question to Gaius, if you could have any one common super power in the entire world what would it be? And why?
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Luna looks at you with a cocked eyebrow, "Well, yes, I suppose I have one somewhere in my wardrobe... saddles are a common modern fashion accessory, or so I have been told."
Gaius looks a bit offended at the question, "I'm not a wizard, nor do I wish to become one."
This is a question for Zong the Nefarious:
If faced with a survival situation where you were starving, which pony would you eat first?
Gaius. If you'd have to stay in Equestria till the end of your life, would you rather spend it with that witch, Luna, Blacktooth, or eat twigs, and fright little fillies, running butt naked in Everfree forest?
Blacktooth. Beef, pork or venison?
Luna. No questions, just want to say: Love you! You're cooles, most badflank princess of them all!
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Which pony would I eat first... hmm... probably Pinkie Pie, since she's supposed to taste like cotton candy n' all.
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Gaius give a slight shudder at the question presented to him. "My entire life... in a land of magical talking ponies." Gaius brings a hand up and rubs it against his brow. "You sir, have a sick, sick sense of humor. But I suppose I'll answer you anyway." He starts to look over at the other people sitting along the table. "I would choose Blacktooth, but he smells absolutely rancid. As for the witch," he looks directly at the hooded figure at the other end of the table, "I really can't avoid being around her, as much as I'd want to... duty to the king and whatnot." He switches his attention to Luna. "I could stay with the horse princess, but I feel like I would be treated more as a odd pet... I highly doubt that becoming a member of the horse court would be a very good idea." Gaius turned his attention back to you and points at you with his left hand, "You might just be onto something there with the twig eating thing..."
Blacktooth gives an idle shrug. "Well, I ain't never had no beef afore, on account of em' bein' considered 'sentient'. But if I was given dah chance, I'd take a bite or two." He brings a clawed paw up to his chin and begins to scratch at it. "Come to think of it, I ain't never had deer either, I think dey live on some islands off dah coast or somethin'... at least that's what dah annoyin' talky pony said when he was rambling." Blacktooth nods. "So I guess dat leaves pork... I ain't never had the pigs that dah ponies raise... I still don't know why dah plant eaters ave em for... but I think boar is a good treat whenever I catch one."
Luna nods her head and pulls a pair of sunglasses from under the table.
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Oh ... well ... you're wrong.
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Since when is eating a pony right? Well... unless you're Blacktooth...
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I mean you're wrong about the choice of pony. The correct answer was a palace guard.
I know I said last question for Gaius a while back but I got bored. 1. Would you kill the princesses if it meant getting your witch and bringing her back to your king? Another question and I swear this is the last unless it gets really slow in here. 2. If you were forced to stay in Equestria (as said before) would you accept the offer of becoming a lord under one of the princesses and holding a fief/keep along with any other benefits of being a lord? If so which princess would you prefer and why.
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Gaius brought a hand up and rubbed the back of his head. "To be honest... I'm not sure, but I have sworn an oath and..." He looked over at Luna and then to the witch and then let out a small cough. "As for your other question... really? HAH! AHAHAHAHA! A horse lord! AHAHAH!" he continues to laugh for several minutes and does not answer your question...
Luna, what do you think of Gaius not wanting a awesome horse lord such as yourself?
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Luna raises an eyebrow and says, "I'm not exactly sure what you mean..."
*Breaks the fourth wall to slap Luna for being playing stupid.* Answer the question or we'll break your legs, John.
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I come out from behind the table and shrug. "But I don't know what you mean D:>... Also, my name isn't John."
To Gaius: How do you think your meeting up with the Keepers of the Elements of Harmony will go, assuming you'll meet them? …by Keepers I mean Twilight Sparkle and friends.
My bad, I don't consider the ponies themselves to be the Elements.
To the witch (I forget her name): <same question to Gaius> What's your name again?
To Blacktooth: One of the Keepers has had a Distressed Damsel situation with one of your kind. How will you think she'll react to your appearance?
To Zong the Nefarious: Who is BEST PONY for you? (Doesn't have to be a pony.)
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Damnit Jim!
To Princess Luna. What are your comments on Gaius thinking the idea of you being his lord, hilarious?
Better Jared?
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Gaius shrugs. "I don't really understand the significance of certain talking horses over other ones." Gaius leans away from Atlas and whispers, "I would probably forget about Atlas in a week if he wasn't constantly hanging around..."
The witch scarcely moves and replies in a quiet, muffled voice, "I hope for the sake of the world that these Elements will be able to vanquish the Taraxippus before Bethold can use them... as for my name... I don't see how that concerns you."
Blacktooth's mouth opens into a strange grin while his tongue lolls out. "Lotsa ponies ave had trouble with us diamond dogs, I don't really care none how dey react to me, ain't gunna change dah fact that I'm here.
Zong nods his head in a thinking gesture. "Rain Cloud is best pony... or Tom."
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"Oh, well I find it rather rude but what else am I to expect from him?" Luna looked over at Gaius who is trying to scratch his nose with his broken arm instead of his good one. "Besides, I don't think he's Lordship material..."
Zong: Still not my name, smart guy.
Dear Dusk
How do you plan on spending your medical leave?
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What are you talking about? Your name was always Jeffery.
Tell him Gaius!
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Sergeant Dusk, wearing a dazzling uniform showing off several of his service ribbons shifts around in his seat as he is asked a question. "Well if I can, I'd like to get a ship to take me and my family back to the Shrouded Isles for a while." Dusk let out a slight cough which he quickly recovered from. "You see, my wife and I had our children during my stationing in Canterlot and I think it would be nice to take my family to see our homeland."
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Gaius looks at Sjogras and puts his good arm up into the air. "I've not the slightest clue."
(Just want to say you guys, -everyone- is here, Ambition & other bad guys, Marshal Astor, hell even the Golem from I Shall Sleep is here too.)
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Ambition: Are you ever going to get inside Gaius? *giggles*
Golem: Knock knock.
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Okay, witch.
To Zorg: I know Tom (who's a rock, whether or not he's a diamond), but who's Rain Cloud? Also, many HiE fanfics feature humans from the present. What made you think a knight from medieval times in Equestria was a good idea?
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"Really? That's the best you could come up with? A crude sex innuendo..." Ambition shook his head. "Pride has more insightful insults!"
The Golem doesn't respond.
Ambition: Okay fine! When are you going to connect to Gaius's nervous system for you two share the same body and you're technically 'inside' him via inside his head physiologically? If you don't feel uncomfortable by answering that due to you being in the closest like the hom- private man you are... Will you ever stop failing at everything you do? I mean really, you're a pitiful excuse for a leader and Gaius, let that soak in, GAIUS... THE MAN WITH NINE FINGERS AND A PET DIAMOND DOG could be a better leader than you. How does that make you feel?
Golem: Knock, knock.
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"Okay, elf..." The witch retorts sourly.
Zong*
Rain Cloud is from this: Friendship is Witchcraft: Episode 7
But that's exactly why I decided to pick a medieval knight, there are waaaay too many modern humans go to Equestria fics, same for space humans (Though those are a bit more intelligent.) But to be honest I didn't really start the idea with "What if a knight went to Equestria." it was more like: "What if there was an entire civilization of humans living on a separate continent but had always been there..." And I found that a medieval society would be the perfect template for that, as a modern human civ would have been actively exploring the world and an ancient civ would't have the ability to cross large bodies of water.
So really, the idea came more from a broad scope than the individual interactions of a single human with ponies like most other HiE stories.
(I hope that made sense.)
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Perfect sense.
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Ambition doesn't really react to your insults, instead he just sits there, idly looking at his fingers. "Well, first off, you don't really understand how our kind intermingles with... 'mortals'. We don't become so closely intwined with them unless a Bond is formed," his dark eyes shifted back and forth. "Such a thing is dangerous, as the connection is permanent, well until the host dies of old age, and can result in a most... unpleasant experience. As for Gaius becoming my host, I'm not really sure if he would be a proper host for me, or I for him... he seems a bit," he paused for a moment in thought and then looked over at where Gaius was sitting, "conflicted as to what he wants."
"As for your insults, I don't find them to have much merit. I hardly consider being hit by a mace once warrants a defeat. Every encounter I have had with Gaius thus far has resulted in my favor... I've been freed, gained Hegemony's mantel... I fail to see how you think I am losing." Suddenly, a quizzical expression formed on Ambition's face. "Oh, wait, I see... you're trying to make me upset." Ambition's black slit forms into a hideous smile. "Sorry, but I don't waste energy on insects that will be dead by the time the next century comes round."
The Golem still doesn't respond, except for a bit of moss that falls off of one of his shoulders.
Ambition: I'm a Geth VI. I don't age. I wouldn't expect some floating dust to recognize something so magnificent in power and allegiance since you obviously have none yourself to base something like that off of. As for not wasting time with insects; your original form is very similar to a cloud of dust and I own a vacuum cleaner.
Golem: ...Knock, knock... (I'll do this until I get an answer. I swear to Illias.)
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Everyone on the panel stares at you, thinking you're crazy... except for the Golem, he doesn't do anything.
"Someone is a bit full of themselves," chimes in Pride, puffing out his chest and raising his plume.
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To Everyone: Why is everyone staring at me? Is it because I'm Geth?
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Pride: Pride don't you even start that with me!
Golem: Knock, knock.
ok mine's to Intrigue and Aya, why are you two, well ... two.
I mean when envy and luna merged they seemed to become "one" aka nightmare moon
how come you two seem to be more or less Intrigue AND Aya and not someone else
is it because luna was more or less immortal and Aya isn't, because thats how far you two wanted to bond or is it because of your traits.
by that i mean envy being envy is envious of everything including her host so she merges with luna to try and became luna and nightmare moon is the end result and you (Intrigue) being more or less the spy of the group have to have your host be them as much as possible or you risk slipping up and ruining everything, so you have to be two separate beings and just act as a silent whisper until the time is right.
or am i just overthinking this and it is something else completely
golem: knock once for yes and knock twice for no... do you understand?
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Intrigue taps at the table with her talons while raising the other one to scratch her beak. "Quite observant of you. But yes, the relationship with Envy and Luna was certainly... different from the pairings we have had in the past." She brings her talon up and waves it in the air idly. "Normally, when a connection is made with a host, we are there to lend them advice, power, etc. and they, in return, give us a host body which we can manipulate, and they also give us the knowledge and experience they have gained over their lifetime... the more host experience we have, the more powerful we eventually become."
"But yes, there is a slight... issue... with this. When we first connect we are still separate consciousnesses that may take the host's body over at will." She looked around, seemingly thinking about something. "But while this connection is made, we are as much subject to the will of the host as they are to us... and if they should demand that a bond be made," she looked over to Luna, "such as in the case with Envy... then the two become one. This new bond will allow us to give unto them our full, unrestrained power... but the risk is terribly great, as demonstrated by our sister Envy."
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The golem lets our a single low rumbling noise coming from his chest, but otherwise does not move.
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princess luna... can your pet golem do any tricks?
oh and before i forget golem is it possible that you're in tune with mother nature herself? and if you could would you re-carve muscles back onto your body, so in other words would you reshape yourself?
oh and one last thing... princess celestia... how many ponies have you molested?
(trololollolol ololoool lolollol looooooool)
again twilights reaction ->
(aside from the golem)
everyone elses ->
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Luna gives a shrug. "I have yet to meet the golem... so I wouldn't know."
Two rumbles come from the golem's chest.
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lol i troll on u
oh and says the one with a sparkly flowing mane and a flowing rainbow out her ass
also golem: good luck in getting to princess Luna... eventually
hokai one last question
princess luna when you became nightmare moon, when you created golems did you carve them with beauty and grace, giving them froms, or did you put a pile of rock together and hope for the best?
i thank you for your time and putting up with my insanity
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Luna looked down and a sad expression dawned on her face. "I honestly can't recall my time as Nightmare Moon... I sometimes remember bits and pieces, but nothing solid... I'm sorry."
ok one more
this one is to the wizard, witch, um... her
why does it seem that all wizards, witches, people with magic always seem to wear a heavy cloak of some sorts. do they mean that your part of a special community/organization, help with casting spells, or something other for just looks. I mean if it's just for looks why not wear some light amour like leather or something instead. It's not heavy and still does a fairly got job at stopping sharp pointing things from harming your person.
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The witch raises a hand and waves it in the air idly, causing the flaps on the end to sway back and forth. "There are four great orders of Magi. My robes signify me as a Magi hailing from the Southern Kingdom." She looked over towards Gaius, "If I was from Aricourt my robes would be a dark green color and if I was from Shaur they would be purple." She looks back to you. "The differences stem from when the Magi pledge loyalty to the nations... but since most magi refuse to participate in the affairs of kings, the robes are more traditional than anything."
Luna I have to know, what were your exact thoughts from when the temple started to fall down around your head up the the point were you kicked ninefingers in the chest
and speaking of him Gaius why do you seem to hate the northerners so much
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Luna brought a hoof up to rest on the side of her head as it move back and forth. "That... Oh I knew someone would ask that eventually," she takes the hoof away from her head and places it back upon the table. "Well, my first thoughts were concerning the obvious danger that everpony was in. So, thinking quickly I tried to shelter the group from falling debris as long as I could." She looked over towards Gaius and daggers shot out form her eyes. "That was until SOMEONE interrupted me!"
"I regret nothing!" yelled Gaius in defiance.
"And I don't regret kicking you!"
"Whatever!" Gaius looks back over to the small audience to answer his question. "Urgh... Northerners, a better question would be what do I not hate about Northerners?! They smell like fish, they live in the coldest damn place on earth and from what I hear... they fancy taking to animals when there aren't any women around!"
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... so Gaius, well uh ... given that last statement you made about northerners would it be safe to assume that you yourself are becoming a bit of a northerner seeing as you are, at least to you, talking to animals
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Gaius squints his eyes and gives you a savagely angry look. "I'm not anything like a damned Northerner... and I don't think you understand me when I say they are taking to animals. But if you are and you're still trying to say I'm like them, then perhaps you'd enjoy to meet the blunt side of my mace."
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So it would be offensive if I were to say something along the lines of "I heard that Gaius was simultaneously riding Princess Luna (in a suggestive pose) while ice fishing in the Northern hemisphere, and while commenting on his fishy body odour and saying 'I sure to love this bitter cold.' repeatably." followed by a comment on how silly you looked?