Contest project, day three: Abandon all hope ye who enter here. · 1:21am Feb 4th, 2015
I can't come up with an upbeat title for these blogs, can I?
Well, I wont call this a day of work since today was day of cleaning my house. Half of the time I have been moving comically heavy furniture, cleaning places that I didn't even know existed and finding all kind of missing things in the space between the sofa and the wall, including a Rubik's cube.
I would like to think about the above as a secret training to be the next Karate Kid, but I'm too tired to make jokes by this point.
Well, now today's progress.
...
..
.
Okay, this is the first moment I even touch the computer today, so the progress today is near to zero.
But!
I've been meditating about it and I need an honest answer for the following question, and I'm not saying hones in the nice way, I want brutal, hurting, soul breaking honesty.
Does this chapter serves to present an invincible enemy? And I don't mean invincible in the way of "waiting for the macguffin", I mean in the way of "It's impossible to beat this enemy, we're gonna die!"
Chapter 1: First Strike, the last night of Equestria.
With nothing else to ad, I give you farewell. See you tomorrow.
Unfortunately, I don't think it does. Three of the four locations mentioned were able to fight off the first wave, so it stands to reason that they'll be able to continue fighting with some measure of success.
2767937
What if I tell you that five years later the ponies have been reduced to live underground or inside dome cities that are completely isolated one from each other?
Also, only seven cities are protected, one by each Element of Harmony and the Crystal Heart (efectively rendering them useless for anything else), so every settlement that wasn't one of those was either occupied, with whoever living there becoming a slave, or destroyed for the evulz.
Also, in a good example of reality ensues, the ponies have yet to come up with an effective way to fight back, but the millenia of peace left them little to no war technology, giving the enemy an absurd advantage (spears against lasers).
Finally, the only trace of a hope they could have are three prototypes. One too weak, the other too slow and the last is soo dangerous to pilot that it almost killed Princess Luna (the night invulnerable alicorn) during the test fly.
Is that enough or should I throw the towel and move one with another idea?
2767937
P.S.: Pretty much this:
Didn't we already review this chapter and since you asked does the enemy seem OP no Twilight held out than the elements joined in, sure she was injured that iv seen that mean the good guys won but barly you want OP try having Galvatron seemingly effortlesly breaking her magic shield, than his beam cuts through hers like a Hot knife through butter but have her get out of the way than get the elements and have Galvatron go into canon mode and STILL beat the elements of harmony Beam NO PROBLEM THAT giveS me the WERE DOOMED Feel
Another thing LOVE THE DRAGON ZORD PICTURE IS THAT WHERE IT IS NOW IN THE DEPTHS OF THE SEE WITH NO PILOT
2768504
Well, yeah, this chapter is old new. But now I wanted to test if it works on a different context.
2768523 Well if you want the enemy to see OP Impossibel to beat just follow what I said earlier and you got what you want maybe more
2768530
What about this?
2768533 I guess it works for what your going for but the whole Dome thing seems kind Big-O esque and I really like my idea for OP enemies but that's just me
..........WAIT EVEN IF THE ELEMENTS CANT BEAT THEM IN MY VERSION WE CAN STILL MAKE IT WORK THE ELEMENTS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE ENEMIES INCLUDING GALVATRON But they use the Crystal heart and the elements to make the domes on their own they be demolished but the utilizes the Tree of harmony (SECRETLY HIDDEN) to Empower the Elements to Make the Domes they do so by spreading the power in 7 differnt locations the 7th being the weakest so they use the Crystal heart to give it the remaining energy to make it impregnable
2768533 3 units huh Say 2 of them could be Megadues the Slow one could be Big-O The weaker one Big Duo or Big-Fau and the 3itrd to dangerous to use eh Sounds like Zero or Epyon maybe Turn-A or Turn-X (I think X is the better choice for this) could be Dark Gundam or (DX since its power) also sounds like the mecha from the anime Bokurano (forgot its name)
But its pretty HUGE and can be tough when its serious or with a good pilot but is dangerous because its powered by the pilots LIFE-FORCE so no matter how quick or easy the battle once the pilot finishes.....they die
2768540
I want to keep things simple, keeping the dilemma as "we can't use the elements to counterattack, we would lose our only defense".
Also, the EoH are basically a canonized Deus ex Machina, having an enemy overpowering them in the second chapter would be no different from making a villain sue. I've seen it before, it never ends well.
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Actually, I wanted to explore a little the idea of realism vs rule of cool.
The first model is actually Moguera, from The Mysterians, since Moguera IS the very first giant robot in modern fiction (making it an ancestor of the mechas). With Moguera being essentially the first attempt of building a mecha, it collides badly with the square cube law, making it extremely slow. And, since the ponies' technology isn't very developed, Moguera's responses in combat are very limited, rendering him useless.
The second model is the Tetsujin 28, the first proto-mecha, maneuvered by remote control and a very primitive version of an A.I But, since its program is still limited, it fails to adapt in a real fight and the remote control system gets in the way of any proper response. Also, if not under the constant orders of a controller, the Tetsujin's war program makes it go berserk.
The last one is the Tallgesse. It has an OS advanced enough to be piloted but, just like in the original series, it's so fast that the test pilot (Luna) got severely injured by its erratic movement at high speeds.
Well, I'll have to think this slow and calm. See ya tomorrow.
2768688 making a villan sue?
Tetsujin 28, ahh or as hes knows here Gigantor
2768298
Now, there's the hopelessness that the readers need to see! That's the situation that will show, "Yes, this is hopeless. We're all going to be slaughtered, and it's only a matter of time. At this point we're not trying to win; we're trying to make it to the next sunrise." It's your story, but I would personally suggest significantly shortening the scenes of the attacks and cut out the final scene of Twilight waking up altogether. Show just enough to show that Equestria avoided being wiped out on day one, barely, and then immediately do a time skip to five years later when the situation is well and truly hopeless.
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Villain sue, the villain version of a mary sue (tvtropes can, and will, ruin my vocabulary). I usually try to avoid the sue territory, it kinda slows down the narrative.
And yeah, that one.
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Heh, I'm really glad that you accepted to be consultant for this, because I was also thinking about the "X years time-skip" but also showing what happened during those five years, an escalation from bad to worse to worst. In other words, a chapter by itself.
Well, I'll have to continue tomorrow, I'm kinda falling sleep over the keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Don't even know what a Mary sue is
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Long story short; a character who is perfect, flawless, has no troubles going, every friggin' thing goes its way and literally nothing bad happens to it, ever. The problem with that concept is that it effectively erases any possibility of conflict or progress, because the character can't lose.