Writer's Block for "Writer's Block" · 7:41pm Oct 21st, 2014
Potential Story Update/Venting/Sappy Personal Stuff that will determine the fate of "Writer's Block". If you would like to avoid someone's drama, skip this blog. Bit of warning, this blog is kind of rambly.
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Alright, going to be honest here. I am seriously thinking of canceling this story. I've gone through a dozen revisions of the ending in my head, ranging from the original of "and then they all had sex", to something that is deep and compelling. Or at least an attempt at something that is deep and compelling. This story was originally a one shot, something simple to pass the time and try a hand at writing a sex scene. Whatever your opinion is on clopping, writing such a scene is good practice because it exists outside the norm and you need something that is normaly unarousing and turn it into arousing/emotional. It's easy to know why a naked women or man is arousing, but having to create new details for a completely different species? Yes, yes, they're ponies. I know. But it's still the same concept. And it's all I intended it to be.
Then you all read it, asked for more, making me want to actually create something with a little more depth. It went okay for a bit, but then life got complicated and painful.
Not going to lie, a fair bit of James's faults are my own. At least, they mostly were some months ago. Going through a divorce because my wife cheated on me, realizing I've actually been depressed for a long time, and plenty of other emotional issues I've buried deep down to the point they didn't bother me... it's been hard. While I like to think I've gotten over some of my problems you see in James, they still exist to some degree, and new ones were quick to fill the gap from the ones I did manage to solve. So pretty same situation, but new shit.
What all of this means for the story however, has me in a bind. I've bounced back and forth between dropping it and continuing it. It's been hard to bring any effort to make new stuff, and that is usually a sign of a dead story. I've told what I originally wanted to tell, and I'm grasping at straws at this point. It feels like I'm forcing it. And I sometimes think it's wrong to try and grab some kind of story when I didn't even give it the justice/attention of a preplanned story with an ending. I don't know, it's just something that bothers me. Feels like I'm just making shit up and pulling you all along with no clear focus, and that makes me feel like I'm doing something disrespectful to you all. I could have ended it as "and then they all had sex". No disrespect for other writers, but that's not how I want my stories to be. As impractical as cartoon ponies are, I always lean towards having something as realistic as possible. It's why I can't make a one shot comedy full of awesome cheesyness. It's just not in my interest to make.
But if I did continue, I am going to be upfront and say that I will be still applying my own problems onto James. Having done a bit more emotional growth than James, I can at least see the direction I want to take him. Like I said, I haven't completely solved my problems, but I believe I know the right way to go on them, and I can steer James that way as well. Writer's often incorporate their own lessons learned in life into their stories, passing on their experiences, trials, errors, and successes to others so that they may know of them. Stories of other people have taught me so many valuable life lessons, and I want to create the same. And this story has a chance for me to practice that. And spoiler, the issue I want to share is that it's okay to be vulnerable to others and let them help you. Not in a "Get work done" kind of way that Applejack faced. I'm talking about that sharing your troubles and fears with others isn't a burden on their lives. It's okay to let your defenses down, it's okay to just let it out without worrying how stupid you feel or look doing it. I'm not saying you need to cry, but it needs to be known that it's okay to be vulnerable to those who love you and want to help you like you do for them. You don't have to keep smiling for the sake of others and your own irrational fear while burying your problems so deep that even you don't realize them half the time.
This type of issue doesn't apply to all people, and I say lucky you for not having to deal with it. But for me this is really difficult, and because every problem has existed before, I know there are other people out in the world that are having this issue as well. This story is for them as it is as much for me.
If you read this far, then you are probably suspecting that I will continue the story. And having written all of this, I feel like doing that as well. I won't go back and edit to showcase that because it took writing this for me to come to a conclusion; It's funny how helpful writing can be. Anyways, I guess I will continue this story. I can't guarantee an end, as there really isn't one in my mind right now. I'll probably be just play it by ear and explore where it goes, while steadily moving in the direction to make James grow and learn some of the lessons I've now learned, and maybe learn some new ones as well. With all the emotionally bothersome stuff out of the way, thank you everyone who still supports this nearly dead story.
Sorry I've taken so long to bring my attention back to it as it churns unpleasant memories about my own situtation in life, and sorry for apologizing about sharing my problems. Really, thank you everyone for the support. I can't say it enough, and I'm glad and honored that you all enjoy the story so far. It's a silly thing, given that it's just one story out of thousands on this website. But for an author, it's the world. Being able to make something people enjoy, even if for just a small amount and for only a moment, makes me happy beyond words. (Also, I was going to ask if you all think I should stay in Multiple Third Person POV or switch to First Person for James, but as I was writing out the question I decided to stick to Multiple Third Person. Funny how simply writing things out can help you in ways you don't always expect)
well then, seems like writers block is moving out of the dead folder, gl with your writing.
So... you sorted it out while writing in my opinion.
Take as much time as you need. We will patiently and happily wait.
i've been waiting for almost 3 years for a fic to update on retired to poniland, at this point writers block has my attention secured for another 2 years, if it gets cancelled i'll get very buttmad.
Honestly, I don't really like this particular story, not in small part because of the behaviour of the protagonist. This blog goes a long way towards explaining why he is that way, but it doesn't really fix the other problems I have with it. The way everyone keeps pressuring him to take part in and adjust to cultural mores that he's just bleedingly obviously uncomfortable with, while not even bothering to ask how he feels about these things or why, really rubs me the wrong way. It's just a bit too close to not caring about his consent at all.
I kinda don't know if I want to continue reading the story even if you do pick it back up, because I can't really tell where you are going with this. I really would like to see everyone get their comeuppance for the way they're pushing him into going native for their own pleasure, especially for the way RD used and drugged him and then promptly ran off, but so far there's really no indication that we're supposed to consider this a bad thing. If him adopting alien social mores, no matter how uncomfortable it makes him, is what you'd consider the desirable outcome, then I'd rather know in advance, because the rest of the story would just piss me off anyway and make me wonder what on Earth is wrong with you to think anyone should just have to take this.
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With the repolish in first person, hopefully I can address some of this issue. Firstly I'll say that this story has been an experiment for me, as well as a projection of my faults (of which don't always make for good stories). Rolling with things and putting them off/denying is one of my problems. However, I haven't had the issue that you addressed brought up in that way, so thank you for the feed back. I will try to keep it in mind and appropriately balance or incorporate it in a way that it becomes a plot point and a fault of characters.
Honestly, I don't know either. I've been through too many possible directions, all while trying to figure out what it is that I want the story to be about. If I had known I would continue this from a one chapter clopfic, I sure as well wouldn't have written myself into the corner I have done. Still might have been preventive if I was just a better writer in general. But again, who knows. I'll just feel my way on what will happen, and with that, no quams from me if you choose not to read it. It's a half written/planned story, there are much better out there.
I like the idea that the mane 6 aren't without their own faults that are not shown in the show, and that the main character has potentially created a false understanding due to his easy going/denying nature. What happened was RD applying a cultural norm that would lead to the next step in friendship and she rushed it in a haphazard fashion. As you obviously already know, this is poor, poor writing. But I'm stuck with it, and will try to see if I can make it somehow work. It's undecided if RD actually gets with him on a serious note or not. Hell, I've even considered having the main character leave Ponyville altogether when he gets citizienship.
There will be a breaking point in which he finally gets his thoughts/feelings out. What he does after that is undecided, because anyone who has reached a snapping point can really fall in any direction; attempting to accept the cultural norms or not being one of the main things. But like I said, at this point this story is becoming more of a way to voice/see/understand my own issues in a story format. I know not everyone will like or accept it, because we are all different and handle things in our own way with our own pre-established thoughts & beliefs. This is just me blindly fumbling around a story while trying to work myself out.
I hope I answered your questions and helped you decide if you wish to continue reading or not. I would like it if you to enjoy it, but I would hate it more if you were forcing yourself to read it. Thank you very much for the feedback, and i will try to better plan/address the issues you brought up in the plot.
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Yeah, I feel a whole lot more comfortable about that now. The kind of selfish disregard for the needs and feelings of others that I've been reading from the pony characters, just like people who think that submissiveness and passivity in the face of abuse are good things, just enormously piss me off on a personal level. That you don't intend to promote that kind of self-victimizing attitude with your writing is really all I need to know.
The issue I had with the story so far was that it seemed to one-sidedly make human cultural attitudes out as being in the wrong and put the blame on James for feeling like his personal boundaries were being violated by failing to abandon them quickly enough. Your writing is actually not something I've been faulting at all, particularly that part. Her behaviour in that situation was completely consistent with the attitude I'd been seeing in all the other characters, so I thought it was actually very effective characterization - haphazardly rushing intimacy on someone who might not be ready for it or really want it is behaviour that springs perfectly naturally from her character flaws, which just demonstrated the general fixation on making James "fit in," against his wishes if necessary, that everyone displays. It's exactly what someone with her personality would do.
I don't know if you've been thinking about it from this angle, but the whole situation made me speculate a lot about what exactly the reason for the difference could be and why they behave that way towards James. I think it's basically cultural chauvinism - the possibility that it isn't just a personal emotional hangup of his that he needs to just get over (or whatever was said) but rather a natural and valid aspect of belonging to another species with a completely different psychology and emotional makeup isn't even something to consider - their way is better and they're in the right, and that's that.
There are ridiculously many possible reasons why this should at least be taken into account as a possibility. For example, for a herd animal with a short fertile period and communal child rearing, strengthening social bonds through casual sex, separated from romantic feelings, is a pretty natural adaptation. Sort of like grooming. To a semi-solitary pack hunter that is always at risk of being impregnated, needs to worry about sexually transmitted diseases and typically raises their own offspring directly, being selective about who you and your mate have sexual interactions with can be reasonably considered a survival trait. Of course it would be instinctively loaded with huge emotional importance, no matter how much they'd try to make him think of it as a casual recreational activity.
...well, that just now were far too many words about something you never even intended to end up writing. Sorry for rambling.