Golden Oaks Book Club mini-review #2: Princess Twilight Sparkle's 500th Birthday (spoiler warning) · 12:58pm Oct 21st, 2014
Review number zwei for the Golden Oaks Book Club stories. This time around, we get a charming little peek into the life that Princess Twilight might lead half a millennium into the future. Check how I feel about Princess Twilight Sparkle's 500th Birthday below!
Author: Autumnschild
Synopsis:
Today is Princess Twilight Sparkle’s 500th birthday, and her most faithful student, an earth pony with a familiar name, can’t wait to celebrate!
Current Length: 12,759 words over 4 chapters, averaging 3,190 words per chapter
Status: Complete
Review: First off, I'd like to begin this by saying that I saw this hit the feature box back when it was first published, although I ignored it at the time because any story that even hints at Twilight having an extended/indefinite lifespan doesn't tend to mesh with me. It has been said that Twilight "will not outlive her friends" by FiM show staff, and I am one of those rare kinds of people who take what someone says at their word.
While I was busy reading other Adventures like Sunset of Time, The Age of Wings and Steel, and the Time Loop Trilogy, Princess Twilight Sparkle's 500th Birthday was ripping up a storm in mid-2013, collecting large amounts of upvotes in a very short space of time. It died off and left the feature box soon enough... but then I started noticing it in popular stories again back in March 2014, when the second sequel came out. Its ratings almost doubled, racing from 511 to 926 in the space of eight days.
Still I paid it no mind. I had no interest in another "Immortal Twilight" story. I had better things to read (and write, by that time).
Finally came the time when I could ignore it no longer: a day only weeks ago when it was voted to be the next story read and discussed by the Golden Oaks Book Club. Well, having no choice, I decided to dig in and brace for the inevitable "woe is me my friends are all dead" story.
I regret ever having put it off for so long. This story, right from the get-go, turned my expectations on their heads and shook them harder than Elvis' pelvis. Somehow the narration already had me laughing from the first few paragraphs; it's written very erratically and repetitively in a similar vein that you might expect Pinkie Pie to tell a story. Chapter one basically kept me in a constant (if gentle) laughing fit as poor Princess Twilight Sparkle was blasted awake by the enthusiastic yell of an overly energetic filly, which leads into some quite ridiculous shenanigans.
The first thing that surprised me was a result of the synopsis. It led me to believe, with these words:
her most faithful student, an earth pony with a familiar name, can’t wait to celebrate!
that the filly described might be a "reincarnation" of sorts of one of Twilight's friends (most likely Pinkie Pie I thought, given the birthday party theme of the story). Nope. Instead, we get a boisterous little girl named Smarty Pants, although her attitude reeked (in a good way) of Pinkie Pie regardless of the unexpected name.
As I read, I found it much easier to enjoy what was happening before me. A sad, mopey, I-miss-my-best-friends Twilight could not possibly be any further from how she was depicted. After finally getting past the events of Twilight waking up in chapter one (in which Twilight challenges Smarty Pants to a drinking competition with hilarious results), I got to see a vastly different Twilight than I expected in chapter two. As she laughed and mucked around with her hyperactive student, it was clear that she had the mental fortitude to look past her friends' 430-year-prior departure from the world. I saw a true Princess of Friendship—one who had accepted her friends' deaths a very long time ago and strove to make new ones with the passage of time, though she had never truly forgotten them. This was incredibly refreshing to me on a personal level.
Smarty is an interesting character in her own right: a descendant with Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy's lineage in her blood, she reads in leaps and bounds like she wants to jump off my computer screen and spring right into my face with a hasty apology before tearing up my bedroom. She's got as much energy as the sun, she refuses to back down from a challenge, yet when she slips up and breaks something valuable (or takes a bubble-bath and uses up an entire bottle of shampoo, containing an active ingredient found only in a flower that blooms but once per century) she is meek and overly apologetic, despite Princess Twilight reminding her that she has the power to fix things with magic.
An innumerable amount of d'awwws later, I find Twilight explaining to Smarty Pants why exactly she chose her—an Earth pony—for a student. Here is where the fic shines and the bonding between Princess and Pupil thrives. Smarty is full of questions and can hardly sit still the entire time, yet Twilight is perfectly patient with her as she has been throughout the fic's duration. Smarty Pants (and I) learning about her heritage and what exactly makes her so special brings about a heartwarming moment that I rarely experience on such levels.
Of course, the story is not without its glitches. Scattered here and there are misuses of apostrophes, misspelled words, and awkward sentences too awkward for even the Pinkie-esque narration to cover up. The beginning felt weak, like it was trying too hard to justify the non-existent comedy tag. The joke of Twilight waking abruptly and hitting her head as she sits up just takes too long. There's a fair bit of unexplained stuff too, like where Celestia and Luna went (the explanation given was "playing a long long game of hide and seek), why Twilight and Cadance (who didn't really need to be involved in this story—more on that in a bit) are the only rulers left, and how in the hay is Rarity still alive? While these are all sorta small things that may or not be important in the grand scheme of things, there was something that really rubbed me the wrong way.
The epilogue. Yes, we were shown Twilight plotting to get Cadance back sometime for sending Smarty Pants with a birthday cake to wake her up at 2am, but really, that was sort of funny by itself. Yet in the epilogue, Cadance finally appears as a character—and has undergone many radical changes, like taking up smoking, being a prankster, and being generally bored with the way things are. There's a little bit of narration to build up an OC adviser, but why bother when we're not going to see her again? She's completely forgettable (I legitimately cannot remember her name now). And when Twilight and Smarty Pants crash her epic speech prepared for Hearts and Hooves Day in front of tens of thousands of ponies, Cadance yells something about getting drunk. In my honest opinion, this story would have been perfectly fine (if not better) without the epilogue at all. While Twilight had grown and changed and experienced much, she was still unmistakably herself through the whole story. Cadance might as well have been impersonated by Chrysalis (or whoever rules the hive ~480 years after the events of ACW) again for all I recognised her—it just wasn't her. Perhaps a separate, in-universe story dedicated to her transformation over time would be prudent.
For being one of the cutest stories I've ever read (because adowabu Smarty Pants), and depicting Immortal Twilight in a far greater, more positive light, I award this story a grade of 8/10. It deserves its rating and its place on my faves shelf... but I can't help feeling that I was cut a little short of something. I don't know.
Perhaps I'll have to try the sequel sometime—it may very well hold the answers to some of my remaining questions.
The sequel is a very different book, being a more classic adventure story. Big magic evil gets woken up, our trio of main characters needs to help defeat it. The usual. It was still pretty good though. We get to see Rarity and get the backstory about how she became the ruler of the Crystal Empire.
2547160
Ah, that's nice. I might have to throw it on RL after all.
I do like a great adventure.
2547160
Also, holy crap, you're quick with uploading reviews to your big fuckoff list
So much h8.
There are a ton of reasons to not take them at their word, starting with the fact that the staff work for Hasbro and can be 'coerced' into changing their minds at any given moment. Generally speaking, I don't see why anyone would take issue with the concept, regardless of what the staff says – fanfiction, by its very nature, lets the author turn established concepts upside down (although it takes a good author to do so in a good way). Not to mention the fact that the show has proven very good at overturning it's own 'established' facts.
Your review convinces me to give this story a try on my RiL... but it actually hasn't assuaged any of my doubts. The 'not-despairing Twilight' reason doesn't fly for me. True, 'sad immortal Twilight' stories are a dime a dozen, but the fact that this isn't one of those isn't enough to make me think this will be a worthwhile story. If anything, it's going to make me more critical.
And those plot holes you mention... well, you know how I am when it comes to plot holes.
2547198 I honestly don't remember anything about the first book, but the second one is pretty amazing, really, as 2547160 said. It goes from zany to dark but never loses its adventurous feel. Also, we finally find Celestia and Luna.
2547224
I suppose reading the original just to be ready to read the sequel is as good a reason as any.
2547167
It doesn't take much time. Lot of it is if I'm already doing stuff when you put up a review. I had just finished adding two long review posts to the list when this one came up. Just adding one, for a story already on the list, is easy-peasy.
The h8 flows through me...
2547198
The reason I don't believe Twilight could ever be immortal is because (like I believed from the very beginning) even the Journal of the Two Sisters confirms that even Celestia and Luna are not immortal. They just age really slowly. And what about Cadance? I can't see her wanting to get married and potentially have foals if she was going To outlive them.
Besides, there is one more reason why she won't: what if all the mane six become alicorns?
2548077
Yes, because immortals are incapable of love and thus would never, ever want to marry. Totally logical.
I read that journal. It was crap and I wish it wasn't canon. Still, I don't recall it ever saying that alicorns weren't immortal, it merely specified that they grow up slowly. It's entirely possible that their aging would stop entirely once they hit a certain limit. After all, when you can live forever, what's the rush to physically mature?
And who's to say she's not planning on all the Mane 6 becoming alicorns? Why would this be a bad thing (aside from being preposterously predictable)? What if she wants them to take over after she's abdicated? As far as we can tell, there are only three alicorns in the world, so what's wrong with getting a little more representation?
2548077
Also, I wouldn't be surprised if Hasbro forced the writers to make the Mane 6 alicorns. Merchandizing.
2548165
lel
2548151
This is purely headcanon talking but I'm thinking that the sisters' lifespans are similar to that of the Blood from Anne Bishop's Black Jewels universe, ie they can live for up to 5000 years and age physically at about the rate of 1/50th a regular (being) does. This would put an approximate body age of about 40 on Celestia (assuming she is about 2000 years old [again, headcanon]), with Luna being still around the equivalent of a 19-20yo (assuming she was kept in suspended animation while in the moon, something that can be neither proved nor disproved [yet]).
If Twilight and Cadance did inherit this power, Yes this would mean that Twi would outlive her friends, I acknowledge. But perhaps some grand evil villain might be waiting to jump in and, maybe, have the power to remove an alicorn's physical status and power. No this is not wishful thinking on my part at all, just a what-if.
There are three options that I can see:
1) either Twilight does not have an unlimited lifespan (same as Cadance) and will live a normal life for a normal amount of time,
2) she does have an extended life but will not remain an Alicorn for her whole life, or,
3) her friends will all become princesses and share the same powers that she wields.
Further speculation?
2548441
4) Villain shows up and kills Twilight, so she in actually doesn't outlive her friends.
Morbid, I know, but certainly within the realm of (noncanon) possibility.
One of the major things that bugs me: what's the point of alicornication if not to provide immortality? Having wings is fine and all, but Twilight was doing just fine without them, and there's no evidence that becoming an alicorn in and of itself grants phenomenal powers. I mean, did Celestia have no choice but to make her one because of some ancient Equestrian law specifying only alicorns may rule? Does giving Twilight wings serve as nothing more than a status symbol?
Even if you accept that Celestia and Luna are not immortal and will die in a few thousand years, why are they so long lived? Why shouldn't Twilight have this lifespan, too? Does this mean that she's some sort of freak, an abomination against the natural order? Or perhaps it's Celestia and Luna who are the freaks and Twilight is actually a 'normal' alicorn.
If you assume Celestia and Luna are 'normal' for their race (which you would since you are determined to consider that journal canon), then why aren't there any other alicorns out there? Where is the rest of their race? Are they the last? If that's the case, wouldn't they want to preserve their species, or are they thinking the time of the alicorns is over?
What I'm getting at is: Celestia and Luna have set the precedent for what an alicorn 'is.' You can debate immortality or simply long life all you want, but the real question is why Twilight wouldn't inherit all the same traits. Right now, it's like saying 'whelp, you have wings now, so you're royalty without any of the benefits.' With the sheer amount of magical power that went into making her an alicorn, I have a lot of trouble believing that she didn't gain some more significant physiological developments.
After all, Luna has shown that it's perfectly possible to change physical shape with regularity and ease, so for her and Celestia combined I can't imagine giving Twilight a pair of wings would be a big deal.
Perhaps it's just my personal preference, but being an alicorn should mean a hell of a lot more than 'I have wings and a horn!' It's an extremely weak reward for something that is so widely celebrated (or reviled). Why would becoming an alicorn be such a big deal if there was no serious benefit from becoming one other than being able to do what any regular pegasus or unicorn can do? Celestia and Luna are practically goddesses. What does Twilight get? A pat on the back and a crystal palace. Whoop-dee-do. What's the point?
Yeah, I sorta just went stream-of-consciousness there.
2548510
>inb4 the show pulls a "Que Sera, Sera" on us and sends Twilight and her friends back in time to literally become the Elements of Harmony, which then create Celestia and Luna, also granting them eternal life to uphold harmony.
