Happy National Coming Out Day, Everypony! In Honor... · 10:49pm Oct 11th, 2014
Gotta love those queer little ponies of ours. 
It's been said over and over again, but for anyone our there that's struggling with their sexuality, it's worth repeating: it gets better. We've got 29 states (plus D.C.) that allow gay marriage now, and that number is only going to increase with time. Even as scary as things can still be these days, please know that you are a beautiful, valuable human being. You deserve love, you deserve to feel good about who you are, and you're going to make it.
If you need someone to talk to, please send me a PM, and I would be happy to listen over text or skype. Addtionally, there are many, many resources available to you, which you can search for via The Trevor Project and the CDC.
In honor of NCOD, here's one of my coming-out stories. If you'd like to share, feel free to leave your own in the comments.
*ahem*
My grandmother is the matriarch on my mom's side of the family. She's a very, very strong woman - her husband died when my mother was 8, and she had to raise three kids in an era where being a woman was even harder than it is now. She's always been loving, caring, and devoted to seeing her children and grandchildren have a better life than she did. I'm so, SO lucky to have her in my life.
I'd arranged to talk at her house on a balmy Sunday afternoon. My heart raced as I walked up to the door, knowing that I was probably about to break her heart. I knocked and let myself in, and she greeted me with the same warm smile and bright, "Hello!" as always, but something was off. Right away, I knew that she knew.
We sat down in her living room and exchanged some small talk. I told her about work and my GRE, and she filled me in about her bridge game and her volunteering at church. There was a lull in the conversation, and I told her. I told her that I am bisexual and that I was seeing another man.
It's the only time I've ever seen her cry.
Her first words were, "I didn't want it to be this." It hurt me to hurt her, and I wanted nothing more than to run away and pretend like nothing had happened. I stayed, though, and we talked. We talked for over an hour about how being queer wasn't a choice I made, about how she didn't understand or approve, about how I was still the same person I had been the day before, and about how she still loved me, even though it hurt her to know.
She excused herself and grabbed a church bulletin from her bedroom, the one from that very day. "I thought it might be this," she said, tears finally starting to dry. "I think it's a sign. It's something our pastor said during the sermon today."
On the front page of the flowery document, she'd written a note in the margin: "God made you, and God doesn't make mistakes."
We hugged, we cried some more, and I left. She still doesn't approve, but she's coming to the wedding, and our relationship is better for being able to tell each other the truth.
Wherever you are in your journey of life, be you straight, queer, questioning, or another of the myriad permutations of humanity, I wish you all the love and all the best.
Peace.
I wasn't aware a national coming out day existed, but I have to admit I quite like the message it's trying to convey. It is promising to see that one's sexuality appears to become more accepted, less of an issue, and it's a trend I'll be looking forward to seeing continue.
I'm not quite a national to the US, nor have too interesting a coming out story to share, but might as well give it a chance in support.
I'm generally one to keep a lot of things to myself, preferring to not involve others unless necessary. The internet has generally been a safe place to write about myself without it affecting me directly. As such, several years ago, I had made a remark somewhere in a deviantart journal that I might be gay, thinking few people would notice, if any, and it wouldn't have any repercussion on my every day life.
What I hadn't been aware of however was that a female classmate of my younger brother's had an interest in me, and had come across this particular piece of the journal entry. It just so happens that my younger brother was visiting my aunt when his classmate called to ask him for confirmation. They in turn asked my mother if she knew. My mom eventually asked me about it in a rather casual conversation after arriving home from college. My mother's side of the family more or less all knew at that point and I haven't heard a single negative remark about it to date.
My dad though, was a different matter. He and I tend to think and behave rather differently, which at the time had caused somewhat of a distance between the two of us. It took several weeks after my mom confronted me about it, to gather the courage to actually sit down and tell him, and even that night I couldn't get myself to bring it up for hours on end, postponing it time and time again through uncertainty. When I eventually just told him there was no crying or anger or disbelief, or anything like that. Just a silence that lasted for what might as well have been an hour in my memory. The silence told me enough though. It was in the sighs, subtle body language and just being able to tell that he was carefully thinking about the words to use rather than a first response that came to mind that he didn't approve. The silence was eventually followed by a single question: "How could you know, without having been in an actual relationship with a woman so far?"
I don't remember much from the actual conversation, other than that silence. I think he's still not quite happy with it, even now, but seems to have grown to accept my being this way, even if it's not a subject discussed often.
My own grandmother doesn't know. She is rather lonely these days, living away from most of the family and her husband having died a few years ago. She's been very attached to me and I visit her regularly for a game of cards and to listen to her stories of the last few weeks. So far though, for years now, I haven't dared tell her. She's mentioned from time to time that she's fine with such things, when it revolves around the nurses for example, that it isn't a choice, but a just the way someone is. Yet, I fear it'll worry her more than the usual if she did know and thus far have simply reasoned that unless I actually find some guy to spend my life with and introduce to the family, this piece of information isn't all too relevant for the time being anyway. I cannot help but wonder if that's the right way to go however.
Since then I've been rather open about it. I like the think the Netherlands for one, or the groups of people I surround myself with, are more accepting of such orientations, or don't concern themselves with it too much. It can actually be amusing to randomly bring up being gay as a joke when somehow relevant to an ongoing conversation. It can lead to quite the hilarious reactions when people don't see it coming.
I like to think it a good sign that to date I haven't received any negative remarks about my sexuality. The closest thing might be a more defensive posture from friends or classmates, when bringing it up as a random remark stating something along the trend of: "That's cool and everything, but before you get any ideas, I'm not into men myself."
Anyway, it's nothing exciting or emotional, not like any of the fanfics I like to read, but just a potentially positive outcome to inspire others, perhaps.
2526691 I like your story. You said that you didn't think it was interesting, but I disagree. I think it's very interesting to hear about a positive experience like yours, and reading it got me thinking about a lot of things.
It's amazing how much a first reaction can stick with you, isn't it? To be totally honest, Braeburn's story in Chapter 14 was strongly influenced by my own experiences.
It takes a lot of courage to confront your father about sexuality. I hope you take pride in having done it.
I don't know what your relationship with your grandma is like, but it sounds like you have things figured out. I also didn't come out to my extended family until I was actually with another guy. Like you said, it doesn't seem relevant unless you're actually dating someone. It sounds like she will still love and support you if/when you choose to tell her, though.
Thanks for sharing your story.