Responding to a review · 10:47pm Sep 27th, 2014
Have you read Forbidden Melodies yet? Go fix that if need be. I’m not going to say it’s without fault, but it’s well worth the read.
Rego was kind enough to write a blog post focused on two of my stories, Proposal in C Major and its sequel A String Wedding. It wasn’t a glowing review, which is fine. Actually it’s better than fine; growing as a writer depends on feedback after all, and only so much information can be gleaned from a count of likes and dislikes.
Anyway, I read through what he had to say, mulled it over, and decided posting a blog post of my own would be the best way to respond. From here on I’ll be getting into (minor) spoiler territory for both stories.
First, some background. When I set out to write Proposal in C Major, I had a basic plot in mind (Octavia gets engaged to a fellow musician after the Grand Galloping Gala), but no groom. I eventually decided on this fellow playing the violin:
As is the case for most background ponies, he has no official name. The MLP wiki currently calls him ‘Concerto’, although I think when I first found him there were a few other candidate names listed as well. In any case he was an ideal pick because he’s seen playing music with Octavia in Sweet and Elite but is not part of the ensemble at the Gala. That meant that once Octavia escaped the Gala she’d get to retell the experience from her own perspective. In retrospect I especially like how she referred to Pinkie Pie as “this horrible pink pony dressed like a candy store.”
For some reason, possibly to help the reader connect with Octavia, I decided to write Proposal in C Major entirely from her perspective. This was supposed to be about her experience after all. Sadly that did mean Concerto’s role to play was almost nonexistent. I tried to paint a quick picture of their relationship through her examination of some photographs, but once again that’s focused on her. As Rego said, he doesn’t do much within the narrative of this story. If I were to go back to it, which isn’t outside the realm of possibility, adding another chapter or a mid-chapter flashback (or both) might be in order.
When it came to reconciling Octavia and Pinkie, I wanted to use a big event in Octavia’s life. Something more personal than another performance and yet grandiose enough to bring all of the Mane Six into the narrative. Enter A String Wedding. I knew from the start that Concerto wouldn’t be seen much, and for the most part I was okay with that. This was a story about the relationship between Pinkie and Octavia, although I did try to make his short appearances count for something. He’s still just a support character for Octavia, though, so once again he doesn’t contribute much. In typical wedding fashion, it’s all about the bride.
I briefly considered writing a secondary story focused on him and Spike. The title was going to be something like “Concerto and Spike’s Excellent Adventure” and the cover art would show the two of them leaping into the air with an explosion in the background. What was the story going to be about? I have no idea beyond an adventure comedy that secretly took place during the wedding preparations.
Am I thinking too hard about all this? Possibly. Hopefully I’ve grown a bit since writing these stories. They were also posted during the dark days before I discovered the editing resources available on FIMFiction. Then again I happen to be in the midst of writing something else with Concerto and Octavia, something that happens a few years later. Did I mention that Vinyl's in it? That won't be the next story posted, however. I'm waiting on some editing feedback from OEE on another project involving Applejack.
Thoughts? Disagreements? Concerns? Idle threats?
I wasn't aware that Concerto was an actual background pony.
New things learned for sure today.
As far as Proposal is concerned, revisiting it would be prudent if you wish to continue with these two's relationship considering the reader still has no idea who he is. I'm not sure if adding another chapter is the way to go, but revisions couldn't hurt it in my opinion. I need to know why I should care about Concerto before I can be invested in him for another sequel, though he did play the role of "I'm just here to say 'I do'" wedding role like my brother was on his... err rather my new sister-in-law's big day.
Idle threats? Umm... if you don't eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich within the next 48 hours I'll... I guess kill you?
I dunno, I've got nothing.
Gotta love the context-aware ads on this site. I'm staring at a banner that says "Groom and Bachellor Gifts". I guess it's a welcome change from the usual Forever 21.
There's a ton of lesser known background ponies, don't worry about not being able to pick each one out in a crowd.
I was really happy to see Concerto show up again in Inspiration Manifestation alongside Octavia.
The more I think about it the more I do want to invest a little more time in Proposal. I promise nothing, but we'll see what happens!