Villains - Update # 9

I've been meaning to make this post a while, but as we all know by now I'm lazy as hell. I've finished the first drafts. The whole thing. I finished it in August, but here's where things get tricky again.

Revision.

The story isn't complete enough to publish as is, and I wouldn't want to, anyway. Problem is, everytime I sit down to the thing, I don't get enough done. I overwhelm myself. I'm going to figure a way to get around this, or get over it. I've asked for advice from forums, and they said to take it one step at a time. Fair enough.

... God, I wish I hadn't taken so long on this one, bad project. Bad fanfiction. I took nearly two years on bad-fanfiction, and I'm ashamed of it when I try to make it better.

Okay, enough of that. I just haven't been able to get that out, I'm angry is all. I'm angry I didn't know how to make this process go faster, or worse, I could've if I'd worked harder. That all of it is my fault because I'm a lazy asshole. But, I've never given up on this story, or myself, and I never will. I've learned quite a bit about organization from this experience, and how important proper outlining is. I want to make this a story worth reading, y'know? I do. I'm not sure I can, which scares me, but I think I've been scared for too long.

I procrastinate when I'm afraid of whether I'm good enough, if I can really do this. It's been two years, coming up this March; that says it all.

The goal is Christmas, but I'm going to have to figure all this out and learn from this to make it in time. I don't know that I'm good enough to do that.

I think one thing I can do is make myself accountable. So, every week I'm going to write an update on what I've done. I'll make goals I can reach, and figure this thing out one step at a time. Even if I'll be yabbering to myself, it's going to help.

I wish I could be really positive, and give an awesome update that I finally have a story ready, but I'll have to work my way up to that.

Let's write this story together,
Wing Nut