I'm Still Wondering What Friendship Could Be... · 4:09am Sep 1st, 2014
Hello again everyone.
This blog post will be a little different from my previous ones. Namely its of a more personal nature unrelated to fanfiction, pertaining to some things that I've mulled around in mind for some time now, (and debated whether I actually wanted to blog about it, but I figured what the hell) but I've only really realized since embracing this fandom of pastel colored horses.
To start off, I'm what you'd call an introvert. Not overly sociable, not entirely talkative, not outgoing, you get the idea. In fact I used to be much, much more shy when I was younger (FYI Fluttershy is not best pony), probably due to a combination of my own personality and homeschooling through the eighth grade. Let me tell you, public schooling, college and later the military certainly helped me grow. I learned to simply interact with people, get to know others in a general sense and at least not feel awkward at social functions, etc.
Only after watching four seasons of MLP: FiM did I more fully realize a fact that I've known for some time now. I don't have, nor have I had, a best friend or friends.
To clarify, I do have friends, some of them good friends. Perhaps I don't understand the definition of what best friend is. My grandfather once told me that I would have many acquaintances in my life, several or many good friends, but that you might only have one, maybe two best, lifelong friends in your life.
My good friends and I certainly share interests and enjoy each others company, but there's always seemed to be some tenets missing. A best friend comes to you first to tell something they're excited about, because your opinion matters to them above all others (and vice versa), both of you know each so well that both are comfortable sharing everything with the other without fear of judgement, you both can rely on the other to have the others back no matter what, the list goes on.
Maybe I've become more aware of these things since watching MLP. After four seasons we've see the friendships between the mane six grow, mature and endure hardships. Some of their respective predicaments might not always line up with our own trials, but the spirit of what friendship should be between best friends is always there.
And I have to say, I envy it tremendously. To have one best friend on the level that is portrayed in the show would be amazing. To have it among six individuals, each feeling the same between each other? Miraculous.
Maybe I place too high standards on what a best friend could be. Being an introvert, I know for a fact I haven't taken the chance to let people become a closer friend. Sometimes I wonder if I really want a best friend. There are many times where I simply feel comfortable by myself, with no desire to seek others out. It sounds depressing, even to myself, but maybe that's the curse of the introvert? But I'm probably over dramatizing the whole thing.
I guess it's just another reason why I enjoy FiM. I might not have a best friend (yet), but I do love watching our favorite ponies just being happy with one another.
Gah. That was sappy. Need to go re-certify my man card or something. You all get the jist of it. Just felt like throwing that out there. We'll return to our regularly scheduled fimfiction shortly.
See you next blog/chapter.
-secret89
It certainly is an interesting topic to ponder about in the context of the show.
I'm actually in a somewhat similar situation; introvert, somewhat grew our of it( a little), few/many friends, but no "best" friend. Although I don't see this as a dilemma? Due to school, moves or drugs(not me), I've only held on to a couple friends for more that 5 years. This lead to a kinda strange situation, at least in my eyes: The friend I've held onto the longest I'd call my "best" friend, mainly due to lack of other options, but I don't know if I would be his "best" friend since I know he has several others he has known for ages. This doesn't bother me, so...
Well, the difference between introverted and extraverted people is actually fairly small, the real difference being: what makes them emotionally tired/awake. Introverted prefer time spent alone to accomplish this, extraverted people prefer being surrounded by others.
This does tend to change peoples personality rather drastically as the grow up. But it started with just one difference.
I don't think it's really anything you can grow out of, it's just part of who you are.
I find that with best friends you need to be friends with them for most of their life. When I moved to Alaska I found three friends instantly and that list of friends has been growing for the nine years I've been here, yet I can't truly look any one of them my BEST friend. I left him in Idaho. Being best friends with someone, to me, requires absolute trust and that is a bond to be made at birth. I don't keep secrets from him; to me the very thought is painful. When I saw my grandma after being gone for two years it felt more awkward than when I saw my best friend around the same time. I haven't seen him for three years and even then it was only for a day, but I think about him every day. Your best friend is your bro. Being called someone's best friend either means they don't understand what that means or that you are literally THE most trusted individual they know, at least outside of their family, but they might trust you more than their family. I know I always did, as awesome as my family is. It also must be mutual, for all the trust that is placed in the other it must be reciprocated fully. It is a wondrous thing; every friend that I find I feel the need to draw comparisons between them and spencer, my best friend. In all honesty though, I think best friends can't just be made when you want one. A best friend is a friend you're born with, you grow up with, someone that values your life as much or maybe even more than your family. Someone you cannot imagine not being in your life. You feel giddy and happy when around them. You know their ins, their outs, you can predict their reactions at times. They're a shoulder to cry on, someone who you trust beyond trusting. And that kind of trust is hard to give, and hard to get. And yet I can't help but hope some day I will find another one. Maybe that's why I find romance fics so great to delve into; the partners are kind of like best friends.
Well, I've rambled on long enough. Tends to happen. Have a nice day, I hope you find someone you can call best friend; no one should be without one.
Sincerely,
Dragonofshame