Alternate Section from Chapter 18

Hello All!

I hope you're all enjoying Legacy of the Pegasi. Chapter 18 had me doing a little more work than I'm used too, and I don't mean the length of the chapter. No, this time it was more about actually re-writing a portion of the story. In the original draft, Scootaloo reacted very differently to Ice Wing's proposition of taking up the mantle as a Legacy Bearer in wake of her father's death. It was nice. It was heartwarming. It contained certain elements that I liked connecting Scootaloo and Ice Wing as relatives. And it was entirely unrealistic and too easy. Below is the original. The first few sentences are from the finished chapter to give you a frame of reference. I'll let you be the judge.

Scootaloo's thoughts immediately returned to outside the wreckage of the Grandstand. A new power manifesting within her, seeking out all around her. All right before she had been whisked away by Spitfire. Slowly she lifted her head toward Ice Wing.

“Nor does it end in death. Rather, it is passed on...” Ice Wing finished, cocking her head at Scootaloo.

“Dad... he gave me...?”

The ghost nodded. “You bear the legacy, as your father did and as I once did.”

Scootaloo sat in silence as Ice Wing's words sunk in. I'm the third pegasus now...

She turned to Ice Wing, the ghost looking patiently at Scootaloo. “I'm the third Legacy Bearer, aren't I?”

Ice Wing bowed her head slowly.

Another shiver ran down Scootaloo's spine. Before today the thought of being a super powered pegasus was the farthest from her mind. All she knew was that her father had become something amazing, a hero like in the legends. He would go on an adventure like Rainbow Dash and her friends did and save the world. He would return to Scootaloo and her mother; everything would be fine.

How quickly that fairy tale had collapsed. In a single day the veneer of captivating adventures had been torn away by vicious storms, revealing real danger, real pain, real death. The world seemed so much bleaker.

Scootaloo let out a rattled sigh. “I wish none of this had happened,” she whispered, bowing her head. “I wish I wasn't a bearer. I wish...,” Scootaloo trailed off, her words fading in an exhausted sigh.

“Often we are given circumstances beyond our control,” Ice Wing said. “But it is the choices we make in spite of them that allow us to control our destiny.”

Scootaloo looked up at Ice Wing.

Ice Wing smiled warmly down at the younger pegasus. “You are strong of spirit and pure of heart Scootaloo. I say this with confidence because I see the same in you as I did in your father. In fact you remind me of myself, of what little I can remember. Particularly the mischief I found myself in. That, you and I share in abundance.” Ice Wing winked at Scootaloo.

Scootaloo cracked a small smile. “Heh, hard to believe a legendary pegasus could be like me...”

“Know this Scootaloo; heroes are made, not born. I am honored that you have inherited my gifts. And proud to call you a member of our family.”

Scootaloo could feel a sliver of pride within her as she looked on at Ice Wing beaming down at her. Yet, her face fell again, turning toward the ground.

She chuckled lightly, but it came hollow. “Guess I really don't have much of a choice do I?”

“You do. But I believe you will make the correct one.”

Silence fell between the ancestor and the bearer. Scootaloo fidgeted with her hooves.

Scootaloo sighed again. “It's just... I'm afraid,” she said weakly.

“Do not run from it. Embrace it. Let it be a companion and ward as you move forward. But take heart Scootaloo!” Ice Wing smiled at the young pegasus. “You are not alone in this.”

Images of Rainbow Dash, Soarin' and Spitfire came to mind, her father's words echoing in her mind. ...find Rainbow Dash and Soarin'... things are going to change...you need to be ready...

Scootaloo stood up. She rubbed her eyes. She turned to Ice Wing, looking the ghost in the eye.

“I'm ready.”

Ice Wing smiled. “Then there is only one last thing I must do.”

Ice Wing stood up, placing her helm upon her head. She moved in front of Scootaloo, facing the pegasus. Slowly she extended her transparent wings, trails of the ghost's ethereal aura trailing through the air.

I'll be working on chapter 19 this long weekend, hopefully I can get it to you before it ends. That is if I can keep myself from Diablo, XCOM, Saints Row, Destiny and a bunch of other games on the backlog.

Until next chapter!

-secret89