I think I wrote myself into a corner · 6:48am Aug 24th, 2014
Inspired by a suggestion from Vates Despero, I changed a lot of my ideas for what I would do for chapter 5. This is a brief, unedited excerpt in which Fluttershy is suddenly reminded of her mother:
A little yellow filly rushed through the front entrance of her cloud house, crying every step of the way. She nearly bowled her mother over with a desperate, wordless hug.
“You’re home late again, Fluttershy,” Mommy said. “I was worried about you.”
Fluttershy pressed her face into Mommy’s neck, still too scared to speak.
“Are you all right, little wings?” Mommy cooed. “Did those mean colts hurt you again?”
“Hoofball,” Fluttershy whimpered, her voice somewhat muffled by Mommy’s fur. “I just wanted to play hoofball. They didn’t have to be so mean.”
“It’s all right,” Mommy said. “You’re with Mommy now.” She lifted her foal up and embraced her. “I’ll always be here for you, little wings, but you have to stay safe. Tomorrow, you have to come right home after school. No mean colts will ever get in here.”
“But . . . what about hoofball?” Fluttershy asked.
“You can’t keep playing hoofball, Fluttershy,” Mommy tutted. “Those mean colts could really hurt you, and then they’d just say it was an accident.”
“But--” Fluttershy attempted.
“Trust me, Fluttershy,” Mommy said. “All I want is for you to be safe.”
She knew it was true. Mommy would never leave her like Daddy, or hurt her like the colts. Mommy loved her more than anything, and she loved Mommy more than anything, too.
I'll let you draw conclusions yourself--or I would have if Fluttershy weren't a former inhabitant of Cloudsdale, and I hadn't prominently specified some contradictory facts in chapter 3. I hate to drop this twist, since frankly, it's way more more interesting than my original idea, but I may have to do a bit of retconning.
(Chitin: still in early access!)
It may just be me, but I'm just fine with a bit of retconning if it serves the greater story better...
hmmm it seems like maybe her dad was a changeling and he left after her mom found out maybe.
2397395 I second that. Ponies move in and out of town, it's somewhat implausible that literally everyone descended from a changeling in this town (with how many of them there are) is descended from the same changeling.
If worse comes to worst, you can always save your unused ideas for use in another story.