The Meaningless Wanderings of the Writer's Mind · 11:41am Jul 30th, 2014
I've been rediscovering my drive for writing over the past few days, but I have no direction to point the passion. I'm only somewhat ashamed to say that I try to make myself sound smarter than I actually am in my writing. Though, I suppose all writers do that. I'm guessing at that, seeing as I'm not all writers so I have no clue what all writers actually think. Anyway, I try and make myself seem more intelligent than I actually am through petty tactics, such as using big words or writing long sentences. I know I should make my stories really intelligent through such things as planning, plot (no not that kind of plot) and character development. But that stuff is really hard to do. I mean, obviously it should be hard, otherwise everyone could be an amazing writer. Well, if the movie Ratatouille has taught us anything, it's that anyone can cook. I'm sure that the same can be said of writing as well. Though, as Remy so aptly put it, that doesn't mean everyone should.
I suppose writing a good story is something like a cooking recipe. You've got your ingredients, which are the characters and the setting. Then you mix them up in a certain order, and your done. Easy as pie. If only it were, though. I'm terrible at cooking, so I actually have no idea what I'm talking about and I should find a different analogy. If I'm being really honest with myself, I don't think I'm a very good writer, either. Any time I start a story on here, I don't give any thought at all to what's going to happen one, two, or ten chapters down the line. I just try and think of a clever idea, try and turn it into a couple thousand words, and then post it in the hopes that it won't get any dislikes.
I live for the little green bar above my stories, and I fear the little red sliver at the end of that green bar. Sometimes, that little red sliver isn't so little. And sometimes, it isn't there at all. If people don't like something I've written, it will send me into a crippling depression. The same thing happens when no one reads my story. I believe they call that "the wall of silence". I get shivers just thinking about it. I know that I should write for myself, and for my own enjoyment, but the only reason I write is because there's a one-in-a-billion chance that I'll actually write something good, get a butt-load of followers and become the next Pen Stroke. It sounds even more conceited when say it out loud.
That's not to say I haven't had any successes on this site. Some of my stories are actually quite popular. The feeling of seeing one of my stories in the featured box... The first time it happened I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Then died again and went to second heaven. It exists, look it up. Alright, it doesn't exist, I just made it up. But if there were a second heaven, I'm sure that's what it must feel like.
My last story to be featured was She Loves Me Not. It stayed in the popular section for an entire week. God only knows why, it was just a silly little idea that I had. I wrote the whole thing in probably less than an hour. But, for whatever reason, it exploded, and I was so happy. But then came the expectations. I felt everyone waiting for the second chapter, and I was so afraid of screwing it up that I put of writing it for a month. I finally did write it a few days ago, and I feel like I screwed it up anyway. The second chapter was met with the wall of silence, much to my ever-lasting horror. I had failed, and I felt like everyone knew it.
I'm a petty person. I care more about what the strangers on this site think about me than my friends in real life. I spend hours clicking the refresh button, hoping someone added my story to their favorites that day. I write solely for the purpose of becoming popular, kind of like that bitch from high school. You know the one I'm talking about. The one who would stuff the ballot box to be prom queen. The thing is, I would be perfectly happy living my life this way if I actually was a popular writer. But I'm not. So I'm not.
I don't feel like rambling anymore, so I'm going to end this blog here. I know this seems very random. It is very random. I am trying to keep my fingers moving for as long as possible, sort of like a writing exercise. Spilling my guts is just a bonus, I guess. I think I'm going to try writing another chapter, see if I can get any more followers. You know, 'cause I'm shallow like that. Later.
Well the second Chapter being out is news to me, missed it somehow. As for your analogy, I think it is one that fits well, except you forgot to mention one thing, in order to cook something you need a bit of heat! As for the "heat" of the story, I believe that would be the situations that you put your characters in. Sometimes you need to heat some a bit more than others in order to get the right flavor, which I believe exposition does nicely if used right. I've said my piece now, now I have something to read.
Good to have you back. What you now about bacon flips and tricks son?
2328671 Ah! Of course, the heat is the conflict! How could I have missed that
I know at some point, you released a second chapter, but that was a mistake and unpublished it. I noticed that at the time. However, when you officially brought out that second chapter, it never popped up. Not in my feed, and I didn't see in on the home page. It was only when browsed my favourites when I saw it.
These two things might be related. Most people may not actually know about the second chapter. Either that, or they found the chapter so little that they'll wait for future ones. But anyway, that might explain the lower views; because no one is aware there is a second chapter. Until now, where you've mentioned it, since all those who have fav'd it will come across this blog.
2328675 Just finished reading it and to be honest, I thought you cut yourself a bit short on what you could have done with the chapter, leaving on a high note can be good for certain types of works of fiction but I don't see this particular one falling into that category. I can give you more in depth thought about it but I don't want to eat up space, but if you would like I can tell you more about how I see the story as a whole a bit later, need to let the thoughts brew and set before I go blabbing about anything and everything.
2328679 I wasn't even planning to tag the story in this blog until my randomness lead me to mention it. It makes me feel slightly better that the low views might have been caused by a technical error.
2328682 Alright, I'd appreciate that. Like I said , I don't think I did the story justice.
2328690 I think to remind you that it is the people who ultimately determine what justice is as well as the fact that this is just a small step of a much longer journey. While the fact that you see this as "not good enough" is something that could be debated, just keep in mind that it is a driving force that will, in the end, make you a better writer. Too often have people settled for "good enough" as their end point. You on the other hand, took something that was suppose to be a one-shot and decided to make it into something more. You're going to need a bit to shake that mentality and truly write something that will make others smile, but more importantly make you smile. Feeling like an old man right now, not gonna lie.
2328699 domo, sensei
2328705 NOOOOOOO
I hate feeling old!
2328671
Same here - I had a Favorite on She Loves Me Not so I could track changes, but FiMFiction never gave me the "new chapter" notice. It's a short one, but that's OK. I made my pony writing career out of short chapters.
Definitely keep them coming! The more and the sooner, the better. We readers are a ravenous lot, once you lure us in with the promise of good prose.
2328719 I think the writer accidentally published the chapter before writing it. The notice for the second chapter appeared quite a few days before the chapter actually left the writing factory, and it seems Fimfic didn't appreciate being taken for granted.
Eyvind, I want you to know that I plan to continue recording myself reading 'She Loves Me Not' all the way to the end. No pressure.
I actually recorded the latest chapter already. But it turned out awful, due to my shitty pronunciation. Then I got my own first story featured... and you know how it goes.
I have no idea why so few read chapter 2. Maybe people are just going to wait until it's all complete... especially if you take so long between chapters.
From one amateur writer to another: Been there, done that.
You'll find your groove, patience, and spirit (or confidence; whichever comes first) eventually, so take all the time you need
The reason I write is to entertain. This goes long back because everyone hates boredom or sadness and I don't like frowns. But I'm hard pressed to find a reason to write another chapter because no one reads it, comments on it, likes it or dislikes it. Then just when I'm about to cancel the story it gets one like, fav, and follow because of my story. This is why we do what we do.
Don't be so hard on yourself. It's easier to be happy when you on top but what makes you a good writer is what you can do when you are at the bottom of the barrel and hey I really like that chapter anyways. You should see my story 2 likes 6 dislikes. O'well the ones that like it must have enjoyed it some how, right? So I'm not going to write for the people who didn't like it but for the ones who did. Just think how many of us like your stories and want to read more of them. I am following you for a reason right?
And also No more sad face. Okay?