The Great Questions in Life

Throughout the history of mankind, great men and women have asked great questions...some of an existential or philosophical nature...some of a personal nature...some of a religious or even cosmic nature. Here are among some of the most profound questions asked that have seemingly stressed the very fabric of our collective comprehension as a species in their sheer profundity:

1.) Why does Hollywood keep casting Matthew Broderick in movies when he's so very clearly terrible in every role he portrays?
2.) Why does one's diarrhea kind of smell like bananas?
3.) If one loses his/her genitals in a hurricane, will the VA pay to turn him/her into the next Robocop?
4.) Why is the sky blue?
5.) Why is the ocean blue?
6.) How does one clean the Cheeto dust caked on one's fingers and/or penis?
7.) What's love got to do...got to do with it? What's love...but a special kind of emotion?
8.) What do women want?
9.) What do women really want in accordance to the theories of Mel Gibson's year 2000 feel-good romantic comedy?...that's fun for the whole family?...if one's whole family is comprised entirely of creepy, Dutch sadomasochists?
10.) What do women even look like?
11.) What does a woman's naughty parts look like?
12.) Why are a woman's naughty parts so scary?
13.) What's a "vulva?"
13.) Why does the term "vulva" sound like the name of a Roman centurion's wife?
14.) Why is Hross so strong, charming, handsome, and witty?
15.) Why are some people "pee shy" while others aren't?
16.) Why is Hross twice the man any other man will ever be?
17.) Why isn't Hross constantly being mobbed by groups of gorgeous, nubile, and amorous women?
18.) How does Hross keep all the dirt and gravel from getting inside the tip of his massive phallus, seeing as to how it's sheer length ensures it's constant abrasion against the ground?
19.) Why does Hross constantly talk about weird shit like this?
20.) Why do people ask Hross questions of which they'd be better off not knowing the answers?

But most importantly...most critically...and most universally...is the one question...the one question to rule them all...that everyone in human history has asked and is totally not something Hross made up:

21.) What would be the result of a banal "comedy" about Spike the Dragon's life being written by an author with virtually no talent or even the most tentative grasp of basic English in the span of a three day meth binge?

Oh, ho! Funny you should ask, humanity as a whole! Here is your answer!!:
Tales Of Equestria: Spike's Remarkably Shitty Day....so there you have it.

Go read it. Right now. This fucker's on borrowed time. You don't have long until the moderators find and gank it. They can smell immodesty and a lack of talent from a mile away due to their familiarity with the stench...they were borne of it, you see.