Main Reviews #3: Transcendence (spoiler warning) · 1:01pm May 18th, 2014
It's that time of the week again: that time where I force myself to punch out a story on my read-later list. This particular one has been sitting in there for far too long. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my review of one of the oldest stories on Fimfiction.net, and one of the true greats.
Author: Corejo
Synopsis:
When Scootaloo moves to Ponyville, she meets a certain cyan pegasus who becomes her idol. Things go well until a pivotal event causes her hopes and dreams to come crashing down around her. Broken and betrayed, Scootaloo must learn to accept her reality and embrace her inner strength with the help of her father and two best friends.
Current length: 65,148 words over 18 chapters, averaging 3,619 words per chapter
Status: Complete
Review: Well, how to begin? This story has been around for close to 2 1/2 years now, from back in the early days when the best writers got the best launchpads. Before his triumphant launch into the hallowed halls of the Fimfiction hall of fame with his exceptionally heart-warming tale, Reading Rainbow, Corejo managed to debut a story so impressive, so emotional, that it tore down the walls of peoples' preconceived notions concerning Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash's relationship. Transcendence is a tale that deserves to have a place in every favourite list.
Transcendence, if you were not already aware, is a tale that begins with Scootaloo's journey from Fillydelphia with her father to find a new life in Ponyville, away from elitist ponies that scorned them both. After an altercation with a bully who decided to torment a young Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo is befriended by "The One And Only" Rainbow Dash. Commence Scootaloo fangirling and you have the beginnings of a powerful training-regime-based relationship between the two. After teaching Scootaloo to fly, Rainbow takes her under her wing and continues to push the filly to her limits in an effort to make a phenomenal flier out of her.
Scootaloo noticeably evolves with the passage of time. Her mental state grows sharper, more disciplined. Her endurance, speed, precision and muscles develop at an astonishing pace. Training with Rainbow Dash means absolutely everything to Scootaloo, who begins to lag behind in school as a result. Mind you, if I had a teacher like Miss Meter Stick, I'd tell her to go and f
k herself, too.
Did I mention that Scootaloo has a father in this story? Personally, I think it was one of the major appeals to me when I began reading. The "Scootaloo is an orphan" trope was old even when this story came to light, so it's refreshing to read a tale where she has at least one stable parent. And after reading about what happened to her mother (spoilers, she didn't die [another trope subversion]), Tyco—a former Wonderbolt—proves to be not only the father that Scootaloo needs, but just as effective as two parents rolled into one. The guy is definitely my favourite character in this tale, barring Scootaloo herself.
When Scootaloo enters her first track and field competition, nopony cheers harder for her than Rainbow Dash. Her intense, daybreak-beginning training and her constantly encouraging words spur Scootaloo onto winning two out of three events that she enters. This catches the eye of a certain other young mare named Pyra, but we'll get to her later.
Following the events, Rainbow Dash enters Wonderbolt tryouts; with minimal effort, she blitzes the competition to take her place beside the likes of Spitfire and Soarin. But this comes at a price: she must leave Ponyville, which means leaving Scootaloo. While upset, Scoots accepts the necessity of her idol's departure, if only because she's see her again in a month's time at the Best Young Flier's competition.
Which is where her world comes completely crashing down....
After Scootaloo chokes from the pressure and fails her routine, Rainbow pulls a flat 180° turn of character and flat out tells Scootaloo to "Go home." "You were never good enough."
This is, no doubt, the greatest discussion point of the entire story. While the ending reveals Rainbow's motivations for acting this way, the actual ending was not written until over a year had passed since this event. Many, many fans of the tale were completely livid, or otherwise desensitized from their investment in the story. With two lines, Corejo seemed to undo absolutely everything that he'd written prior, and the masses were not happy. "Rainbow Dash is totally out of character!" "Wow, what a bitch, that's not right." "Geez, some 'Element of Loyalty' she is." Even now, if Transcendence is ever brought up, this is still the most talked-about aspect of the story.
Personally, I really didn't mind it. While Rainbow's inversion of her character came as a sucker punch to most readers, I could kind of understand her POV. I mean, she worked with and trained Scootaloo to such an intense level, invested so much of her own (unpaid) personal time in her, just to have her protegè fall at the final hurdle of the event that should have made her famous and respected. I don't find it that hard to believe, myself, considering this was written far back when the purely competitive Rainbow Dash was the only one we knew.
Devastated from RD's betrayal, Scootaloo takes off home and wallows in her despair.
Here's where things get interesting: apparently, the original story had Scootaloo so distraught, so destroyed at a core existential level, that she tried to take her own life. This also generated a bit of backlash from fans, though not as much as Rainbow's betrayal. Since then, the story has been rewritten and this scene completely removed, though I fail to see how it could have hurt the story to keep it in. In all honesty, I think keeping it would have only strengthened the eventual plot; one more obstacle for Scootaloo to overcome in her quest for personal ascension. It would certainly have strengthened the need for the solitary Sad tag that graces the cover page.
Regardless, the tale picks up with Scootaloo deciding to continue her training and improve herself, if only out of force of habit. Rainbow's training sessions were as much a part of her as her newly active and functional wings. Over the next few chapters, Scootaloo pushes and pushes herself to overcome her boundaries, although this time around, her motivation is completely different. It can be summed up in this line alone:
She didn’t do this for Rainbow Dash. Not anymore.
Here, we have a line that masterfully sums up the name of the story, and its theme. Scootaloo seeks to transcend Rainbow Dash, to outdo here and prove that she isn't useless, that she can do anything she sets her mind to. Aided by her ever-reliable and loyal friends, Sweetie Belle and... *shudder* Applebloom, as well as the consistent encouragement of her father, Scootaloo trains for months on end. Her hooves, legs, feathers—every fiber of her being—is pushed to new extremes. Constantly flying at high velocities, the wind literally begins to tear Scootaloo apart over time. I absolutely love this idea; it's so damn realistic when you think about it.
During one particular night under the starry skies of Ponyville's outskirts, Scootaloo finally pulls off the impossible, the one trick she'd been trying to master for months. The one trick that tore her to pieces and almost claimed her life: the Sonic Rainboom.
Now I know what some of you may think: "Isn't that only something Rainbow Dash can do?" Well, allow me to disagree. I should imagine that any pegasus could pull it off. The only requirements are for a pegasus to fly at the speed of sound. Nowhere has it ever been stated that their mane must be rainbow-coloured. In fact, Scootaloo's rainboom explosion and wake-trail is a solid streak of violet, just like her mane and tail. After finally performing it, Scootaloo crash-lands and wakes up in hospital, barred from flying for six weeks, lest her injuries worsen.
The final stage of her training arrives when Tyco lifts his self-imposed taboo on flying (personal reasons, I won't spoil absolutely everything) and shows Scootaloo the trick that made him a famous Wonderbolt back in the day. Hundreds of dangerous, potentially fatal attempts later, Scootaloo knows what she has to do.
Eleven months have passed since Rainbow Dash told Scootaloo to shove it. Eleven months she has had to convince herself, mentally and physically, that she can out-perform her former idol. When the day of reckoning is at hoof, Scoots is greeted by a multitude of familiar faces, many of which give her a final test of resolve with their mere presences. Spitfire, Soarin and Rainbow Dash are present, the latter unable to look Scootaloo in the eyes. Even young Pyra (the young mare who defeated Scootaloo in the BYF comp) is there, where she reveals her own incentives for wanting to become a Wonderbolt. To her credit, she's a very good sport, offering Scootaloo a friendly challenge as well as encouragement.
Long story short, Scootaloo wows the spectators and judges with her exceptional speed during the race, and her fantastic Final Flash Attack Electric Cloudburst Rainboom Explosion. Crowds cheer, fathers smile with pride, competitors congratulate...
And then there's Rainbow Dash. How fking dare she have the gall to try and apologise to Scootaloo after holding it in for so long, when she had ample opportunity to do so before. Fortunately, Scootaloo calls her on her bullshit with a simple, but hard-hitting statement:
"I don't care."
Congratulations, Scootaloo. You've completed your Transcendence. And with that, I've completed my read-through of one of the best stories I think I'll ever read. Scootaloo's plight held me captive from the beginning to the very end. I cheered her on every step, every flap of the way. I hated Rainbow for what she did, and agreed with Scootaloo's assessment that her justification was nowhere near good enough for what she did. I've never hated RD before in any sense, so definite props to Corejo for that. Tyco is a badass dad, I wish I'd had one like him. Sweetie Belle and... Applebloom proved to be the best friends that Scootaloo could have had, even placing themselves in harms way to help their friend when they felt it was necessary.
There's just one small thing that I don't understand. Perhaps my time reading dark and tragic stories (and writing dark and tragic stories) has hardened my heart, but I didn't actually find this story particularly sad at all. The entire time, I was expecting a depression to hit me, yet all I saw was a strong little filly fighting to prove to herself that she wasn't useless. Following everything she ever put herself through, not once did I ever doubt she could do it. While there were certainly some sections that could be considered upsetting, I never really actually felt sad at all during the reading.
I have only the highest praises to offer in regards to the grammar, mechanics and overall execution of this tale. I think I found a grant total of... two? mistakes through the course of all 65k words. My only real gripe with this tale is Corejo's insistence on using Applebloom instead of Apple Bloom. Normally this is a mildly irksome issue for me, but since this is an amazing tale, practically perfect, the incorrect spelling makes me want to rage 10x harder.
Overall, I give this story a 9.5/10. The amount of stories I've read on this site that would even have a chance to earn that, I can count with the fingers on my hands.
Well done, Corejo. I'm so sorry for being so incredibly late to the party.
Fantastic. This basically sums up my thoughts, though I have to say that my point about an eventual resolution in an epilogue still stands. Scootaloo may have moved on, but Dash has not.
And the original story was VERY sad. That is why the suicide was so powerful. Scootaloo was racked with a massive depression, and then she decided to fly up to the mountain Rainbow had first taught her to fly on and simply jump off. As I said, I can't remember if she hit the ground or not.
And the odd thing is that Tyco was nothing in the original story. He was just a figure head, really. This is what drove him to rewrite the story, I think. He said he wrote in a chapter by chapter basis, meaning plot holes everywhere. So, who knows.
Anyway, read Antipodes next. I definitely enjoyed that one. And PK is a really nice dude.
Thanks for the words, Cerulean. I really wasn't expecting this. I always enjoy the running commentary some people do on Transcendence, as it lets me take the path down the story with them. This is no doubt the biggest compliment I've received for this story. Glad you enjoyed it. Makes writing it that much more worth it.
Anyways, it looks like I'm late to the vote, but I'd suggest Dangerous Business next. It tops my story by a mile.
2128148
No problem, mate. Thank you for your masterpiece. I greatly enjoyed it and do consider it one of the best I've read yet.
Dangerous Business looks to be the next story after Antipodes, since it has been voted for in the past.
2122457
Original write with the suicide was one of the hammiest things I've ever witnessed. I removed the suicide because the "dazed and confused" feeling flowed much smoother and didn't rely on "oh, woe is me" to garner sympathy. There are still a few plot holes in the story, and some hamminess to boot (basically just chapters four and five), but the biggest issue I still have with this story is the ending, summed up well in this conversation starting here.
I am late to the game as usual...
Either way, I have to say that one of the best parts to reading Transcendence was reading your reactions in the comments. It nearly mirrored my reaction in every single way (and your review also follows it).
Another story on the scootaside of life I would recommend (even after the date where we can recommend to you, would be One in a million. It is a tad sadder than this, but it still pulls at you in every direction. I highly recommend this for a read
Beyond that. I enjoyed your review and will follow you appropriately.
pie012345
2169073
Cool. I'm glad that my reviews are garnering positive reactions like this. Thank you.
Next up is Antipodes. Really, it should have been done by now.