Are You An Introverted Person? Or An Extroverted Person? · 10:26am Apr 15th, 2014
This was copypasted and forward to this blog, here, right now. Personally, this will tell wether or not that you are an introverted kid, or an extroverted. While it leans more into introverts, it does shed some light on extroverts. I am an introverted guy, I admit.
*DO YOU KNOW someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?
If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.
I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.
Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doing so, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.
What is introversion?
In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.
Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."
How many people are introverts?
I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."
Are introverts misunderstood?
Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.
Are introverts oppressed?
I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are really comfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who did rise to the top in politics—Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon—is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.
Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)
With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.
Are introverts arrogant?
Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.
The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."
How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice?
First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"
Third, don't say anything else, either.
I do know someone like that, actually....
Myself.
Minus the "dynamite presentation to a big audience". I don't like making public presentations, I get stage-fright.
2011906
Yeah, dude, you and I are alike. I'm guessing this has been a 'all your life' type gig for ya?
2011908
most of my life. I think I was a bit more sociable as a kid.
Also, I just notice the "small conversations about feelings" bit. I'm not a very emotional guy either.
2011910
Guessing you just tag a little between ambivent, I guess?
Ambivent is like in the middle of the two big ego-names; Introverts and Extroverts. It blends both qualites into one, so while Extroverts don't really tag along in spreading or discussing personal feelings, Introverts, however, like to do that. I like to do that. But you don't, so maybe you are just a tad ambivent, then?
2011915 Maybe I am. I never really put much thought into where I placed on the big spectrum of personalities. Wasn't a huge concern of mine.
2011917
I'd recommend that you shouldn't either. If it isn't you to not think about this stuff, then don't bother man. Nobody is asking you to, all I was trying to do is see whether or not that people could figure themselves out because I just figured what I am earlier today, and I really wanted to help others understand, like you.
My bad.
2011919
Nah, don't be like that. It was an interesting and informative regardless.
2011926
Thanks, man.
.......you know, I don't think you and I had a real friend conversation like we do with others. So, man, how's a going?
I'd suppose I'm a small part introvert.
2011950 goin' alright. Awaiting the morning when cooperate obligations demand I leave the house and go to my job.
Interesting to see someone take the time and do research on this.
As a former full-on introvert that started leaning to extroversion when I went to college (though I retain many of my introverted qualities, such as enjoying my alone time), I can't say it's not a good idea to look into the opposite orientation. However, you should never feel a NEED to do so. If you're comfortable being an introvert or extrovert, stick with it, but experiencing the other is a good thing. Not only does it broaden your horizons a bit, but it allows you to understand the other one better.
Just a small word of advice.
2011915 Pretty sure the word you're looking for is ambivalent, not ambivent. (Sorry— teacher with the hard-to-control need to correct people
)
2011984
How, so?
2011987
Ooh! Which job is it?
2012000 trolley boy at a grocery market
2011991
Yeah, wait, so, all in all, your saying that while it is okay to stay as the one your comfortable with, you should glance out and check the other known lifestyles? If so, tell me, how did you lose yours? Was it hard, because it's very difficult for me to be, normal, as society puts it. Oh, and I do believe that both, and the middle one are all considered important to certain areas of human nature, but I can't disagree with how the world would be ten times better if it were controlled by more introverted people. Then again, it's the over-eccentric pricks that had helped made the technologies we seek today, at least some of them did I believe.
2012002
Is that basically stock-boy, or....
2011998 Some of the descriptions you put up sound like me.
2012018 y'know the shopping carts that people carry their shopping in?
I pick them up when leave them out in the carpark after using them and bring them to the entrance so other shoppers can use them.
2012020
Explain.
2012025
Dude, that sounds slightly bad. I mean, where I work, I'm just a stock boy at a grocery store, so I understand the business I guess, like you do. But since I don't live in a city, we have obviously fewer carts, and fewer people. Is it hot or really cold whenever you go outside and do that sort of stuff?
2012029 While I can't do presentations well, on the other hand "Who has to be dragged to parties" yes, unless it's with only people I know. "maladroit at small talk" is also close, but only with strangers. Rest don't really apply.
2012041
This sounds totally fucky, but have you ever been to a party?
2012042 Yes. A few with close friends I enjoyed, and some with people I've never met or don't really talk to that I've hated.
2012050
How are they, please tell me!
2012033
Meh. It's enjoyable enough. It's good honest work that gets me outside and puts money in the bank. Keeps me fit as well, with all the walking around and trolley pushing I do, so there's the exercise aspect of it as well.
I live in a sort of mini-city. The store is pretty big, since it sells pretty much anything the farmers produce; fruits & veg, eggs, milk, cheese, bread, meat, blah blah blah etc. etc.
There's a lot of trolley's there, so it keeps us busy when the place gets busy. We only work as hard as we need to work. If it's a quiet day, we take our time doing the job and try not to overwork ourselves. We only get the sweat dripping when the place gets busy.
depends on the season, with Australia. If it's Summer or Spring, yeah it gets pretty fucking hot. But we have plenty of water to drink; the trolley team gets an esky of ice to put our drink bottles in and the outside cafe refills our drink bottles for free for us. So it's not like we're gonna dehydrate.. Being autumn/winter, its gonna start raining soon, but we'll have raincoats and jumpers for that.
2012051 With friends; fun, enjoyable, a good time
When your forced by your parents (or someone else) (and to my opinion): awkward, boring, not too great.
2012015 Basically, yes. It's fine to stick with what you're comfortable with, but it's a good idea to branch out and try something new. Enough exposure may change your way of thinking. You never know— you just might like it. But at the same time, if you have enough exposure and find that you just aren't getting the hang of it, don't feel pressured to FORCE yourself to like it.
In my case, I didn't LOSE my sense of introversion— I just came to understand extroversion a lot better. When I went to college, I was the only person from my school to go that year, so I had a blank slate, and plenty of room to make new friends. When I did, we all tried to hang out together as much as possible, which led to us having multiple people in single hangout sessions. Meeting new people is an easy way to get exposure to other lifestyles, and having different people together in one place allows for an amalgam of culture that's a great experience for everyone. I lived in extroversion in college for a while, but I also spent time on my own, which satisfied my introverted side. So like I said, I didn't LOSE my introversion, I just gained a sense of extroversion.
You mentioned ambivalence before— ambivalent technically means having mixed feelings, which may not necessarily apply, but it's fine to be that way. You don't have to pick a different lifestyle if it's not comfortable. It's fine to have comfort in one lifestyle over the other, but having experience in both allows you to have a sense of how people of your opposite lifestyle feel.
Moral of the story: one isn't necessarily better than the other. Both have positive qualities about them. It's just not wise to make conclusions without taking the perspectives of both lifestyles into account.
I can talk to people just fine but don't prefer to.
I can also do a big presentation just fine.
I do NOT like being in big crowds.
Im the guy that has to be dragged to parties.
I think to myself a lot. It's how I solve things, and generally just a thing I always do.
Can't tell which I am since I am a mix of both.
That's why I find concepts like these fucking stupid.
2011906 2011908 2011984 2012174
Introverts unite!
2012638 Pretty safe to assume everyone gathering on this pony site is shy and or introverted
edit: anti social
2012638
Um... ok
2012174
Awe! That sucks man, I mean, if you don't enjoy it, but if you do, then all the power to you, dude.
Might I ask? Was it all your life, or just recent? How severe is it?
2012056
Yeah, I hear you, dude. At least you got to go, did you do anything illegal?
2012638
Introverts unite!
2012273
Can you give me tips on how to change my introversion? I mean, I like it, but I do feel the need to branch it, please help give me some tips. If you want, I mean.
2014625
What do you mean?
2012322
Yeah, man, I'm the guy that has to be dragged to parties, also.
Some say I'm lazy, and yes I am. Though, I do try, remember that aspect.
2014631 Heh heh, no; I'm a good little boy.
2014649
Nah, never mind, dude. It's fine, I was just curious. Didn't mean to startle you, there.
I just meant like, is it managable. Like you are fine with it, and all.
2014670
Good.
2014671
Oh... uh ok
2014646 It's not a case of changing your introversion. There's no problem in having introverted aspects about you. If you want to get a taste of extroversion, though, then the best way to go about it is really to just find a way to put yourself in the situation. Get some friends together and go out somewhere as a group (or just hang out in someone's basement— the more people you're with at one time, wherever you are, the more you'll feel in an extroverted situation). That was how I started. Immersion is the best method (ever try Rosetta Stone?). If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then it just may not be the thing for you. But like I said, there's nothing wrong with that. Don't force yourself to be in a situation you don't want to be in.
2014659 Lets forget the fact I have never been to a legitamate party with my loner ass
2015191
Wha?! I so thought you did, like in our other talks, I thought you were this big party goer type guy, man!
2014769
Dude, then, can you please help me understand on how to change my ways.
Like, what steps did you take?
Like, what I'm trying to say is, help me understand certain means of ways to convey my fears and overall anti-social lifestyle into a more direct extroverted style. Like, I'm just wondering as too how someone could really progress through it, especially in school.
2012054
I literally forgot you were in Austraila, mind if I ask how old are you? Because there is a lot of TV shows I love from that country. My dad brought me up on Australian TV since I was 12. So, do you know any shows that you liked, or have heard of that are, or were big at one point or another.
Have you ever heard of Blue Heelers, that is my favorite show from your country!
2018052 I am 87,928 years old (18 in human years)
one show I liked, from back when I was a kid, was called "Around The Twist" about this family that lived in this lighthouse and all manner of weird and supernatural shiz happened to them.
The only blue heeler I know of is the dog breed.
2018050 Like I said, it's not a case of changing anything. You're not trying to convert yourself to extroversion, you're just trying to give yourself a taste of it.
It's hard to give someone tips— it's something you need to just try for yourself. The one tip that I can definitely give you is this, though: start small. If you prefer to either be alone or be with a small number of people at one time, then start there. Start with a small gathering where everyone can be part of a single conversation. Then go to higher numbers. Don't jump over to a huge party and think you'll be fine. You'd be going from one extreme to the other, and that rarely works.
When you eventually move to the step of going to gatherings that will include people you've never met, it would be prudent to do it with someone you know and trust. Have them bring you somewhere where you know there will be at least a few people you can relate with. It'll make it easier to break the ice with someone. In fact, it'd be wise to do this whole process with someone you know and trust. Doing something like this together with someone would be a lot easier than trying to go it alone.