It's actually happening? · 12:05am Mar 25th, 2014
So, for the past two days, I've actually slowly been rewriting good ol' Fireflank. I've long passed the point I got stuck on last time, and really, I don't think it's gonna happen again. The times I've tried doing this and failed, I got the great, passionate fire in my chest that quickly burned out (not to mention I was just editing, when I'd already done... lots of editing before and just after initial publishing). This time, it's more of a calm compulsion. I can take breaks and do other things, but at the moment I'm spending most of each day working on this.
Anyway, more importantly. Simply put, the story is going to look much better once I get finished with this revamp. I wonder if it seems a little fast-paced right now, but I think that may mostly be an illusion brought by doing this on my phone. Either way, the prose (or whatnot) is just so much better, and the pacing so far also seems a vast improvement. I mean, objectively speaking, the structure of each sentence looks clean and professional, while before lots of it just looked... amateurish. (I'd lament over that fact more, but that's the nature of a first draft, I suppose.)
So in short, I'm confident I'm actually going to get it done this time, ant likely even--finally, after almost a year--pick the story up and move it forward. If I can do what I'm seeing right now, I have the confidence to keep it up.
Right now I'm most of the way through "converting" chapter 2, and naturally will be adding some more stuff in. I forget just how much there is to chapter 3 and 4, but Cloud Kicker and the house fire is going to be cut out entirely (for now; Cloud Kicker as she was, was a pointless cameo. She may have an important role to play a ways down the line, but she's no more than a supporting character and I won't introduce her until it makes some sense). Moondust is likely gone forever, unfortunately. We haven't met Wintergreen yet...
And I'm going to change a few things in the flashback (though I'm not sure it will actually happen yet). Shooting Star will show at least a hint of the rounded character I have in store for her, the fire will be much less destructive (I believe I had the gravity of the issue magnitudes higher than necessary. This way, Wisp will have reason to feel traumatized, but doesn't necessarily have to worry about loss of life and a massive fine and crap looking over her head). Wisp will only have the one friend, and there's gonna be a batpony somewhere. Perhaps a batpony will even join the main cast in the future, but I make no guarantees--I worry that four central characters alongside the main character will be plenty to handle already without introducing another into the fold.
~~~
I apologize for the horrendously long wait and little activity thus far, everyone. It will probably be a good week yet, or more, before I can call this done, but if I'm ever going to pick things up like I should and actually get you guys some regular or semi-regular updates, it's all starting here. In fact, it may not be too long before I upload the new first chapter (which will be much longer than the previous average length) and tear down the old ones. It and the next chapter will include mostly retreaded ground, of course, but... Well, you know.
Thanks for keeping me on your follow list this long, guys. I hope you enjoy what's to come, and that more followers end up joining you. lol
P.S.: Again, this is looking to take time, probably over a week or two before I reach the end of chapter 5--though that chapter is mostly a flashback I was very happy with--but I don't intend to make too many more blog updates in the meantime, if any. The last time I piped up a lot thinking I might be about to get something done, I let you guys down. I'll just keep at it and see what happens.
P.P.S.: No first-person overhaul to worry about. The fun I could have with that, and closer relationship with Wisp, are not at all worth the way I want to write this story and some of the things I want to do. Perhaps in a future oneshot or sidestory.
Until next time (and any comments), guys. 
It is very good to hear that you have a direction you are happy with. That is the most important thing after all.
As for your comment on the bat pony, I want remind you that there is a gradient of character importance so he/she/it can sort of float half way between main character and supporting character if that is what the story needs. There is no reason to force the character to be any more important than the story needs him/her/it to be at any given moment which can result in a transition between major and minor rolls as the story progresses. You see this all the time in the show with some of the mane six serving supporting rolls in certain episodes, so there is no reason not to follow their example in your story.
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That is quite true. Such, indeed, may be the case with Captain Searchlight--he's not a very important character, but will be more or less a recurring character, and might end up his own sideplot. I'm thinking that might be reserved for a future sidestory, he will be more important at sometimes than others. I'm not sure how often he'll be important, considering Ponyville is generally peaceful, but there will be at least 2+ incidents in the story that call for his involvement in some way.
However, in the case of a batpony character... Well, not much story planning has been done in some time, as of yet, so who knows, but right now, the only basis for an actual batpony character is in that I love batponies and would love to have one involved in what is supposed to be my longest and favorite (to write) story for some time.
...Though, if I happen to end up in a position to write a sequel... That would be perfect. Yes, that could work very well... I'm very fond of Wisp and would like little more than to write more about her past the current scope of the story, and with this thought in mind, I do have some idea where I could end the currently-planned story (which would go on for a while), and doing so would help keep me from drawing it out too long... Hm.
Anyway, the point is that would be the perfect opportunity for me to introduce a batpony character. Or rather, to either introduce a new one, or feature a previously-introduced one in a more prominent role. Mm.
Thanks for that. Food for thought.
And, well... Yes... I think a contributing factor to my previous struggles was the fact that even though I had a vision for a better story, it still looked like crap to me despite whatever I did. Now that I'm replacing the foundations, and phrasing things much better (first draft or not, I still wonder how it came out so meh before when I have such high standards), I feel much more confident and satisfied with the whole thing. And that may well be all I needed to keep things going. lol
All that said, though... I'm not sure what to think about seeing no one comment besides you.
1953143 I am glad to have helped, and if all you want is a bat pony to have a bat pony, you may want to consider "promoting" a pegasus. Just make sure it is not Fluttershy or something.
As for responses, you only have 13 followers and 27 favorites on the story. One response is actually proportionally better than most of the big name authors get. Using Chengar Qordath as an example, your 1 response for 13 followers would logically scale up to a staggering 162 people for him. A quick check of his latest 10 blogs shows that the most comments he has gotten was 36, and that is counting multiple posts by the same people and his replies. Even using the number of favorites on the story because they get notified as well, he would be expected to get 78 replies off just his follow list so you are clearly doing far better statistically speaking.
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Hah. Well, I suppose so...
But wait. 27 sounds more realistic, but when it--
Oh. Right. I have 88 favorites... Duh. lol
Anyway. I want to do more with Shooting Star--perhaps more than just having her be around for certain plot stuff later. But... Hm. Turning her from pegasus to batpony (or thestral, as they shall be "officially" dubbed) is something I wouldn't exactly be against, but I feel it a bit more likely that a pegasus would be renowned in the up-and-coming acting scene for her beauty than a thestral.
Then again, slap on some contact lenses and perhaps some fancy cosmetic enchantment to make her wings look feathered (or invisible, depending on role)... Hm. That sounds perfectly plausible to me. However, I do rather like her design as is... I don't plan on that change, but we'll see, perhaps.
As far as other characters go... Well, Flitter and Cloudchaser's races can't be changed, Wintergreen is an earth pony forever, the other character that will come in is a unicorn... And Fluttershy was originally going to be the love interest.
Yes, it was that bad in the planning stages. lol
(Not that Canon x OC shipping is definitively bad, but in the very beginning, Wisp was shamelessly Mary Sue)
Sooo, besides little miss cheaty cheat, there's not a notable pegasus character to be upgraded, unfortunately. lol
...However, on a positive note, I'm not sure writing a group of six friends total would necessarily be so bad if I loosen up a bit with my worrywarting. The show pulls it off, after all. There'd just be a thestral in the second earth pony spot... lol
...And, after all, Moondust was initially pegged as a pegasus...
Shut up.
1953208 My work here is done.
More seriously, it looks like I am giving you some good ideas one way or another, although you will have to consider what you want to do with them and if you want to make any pony type swaps and come to whatever conclusion you want to on your own. Also, you should consider your secondary characters as well including those guards who you could probably change to a night guard unit if you wanted to.
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Guards? Ah yes, if I remember correctly, I let you in as a prereader or whatnot. You certainly talk like one, heh.
Well, the gendarmerie bit isn't forged from my own mind, it's that according to Chengar and the Winningverse FAQ, it's a branch of the Guard that serves to protect the peace and such in Equestria.
Not that I'm set to have everything in this story match perfectly with Winningverse continuity. Thestrals being a perfect (and currently, only) example.
But yeah.
However, that doesn't mean there can't be a night guard or whatnot. Rather, seeing as in my world, thestrals are a race and not a cosmetic enchantment, there's no saying there can't be such ponies involved in the night guard, patrolling Ponyville. But as far as I'm thinking at the moment, I can't say we'll be explicitly aware of any such patrols. Sometimes, I imagine, but yeah. lol
...Hm. Just speaking of the guard in general, there's always the chance that in the future (wouldn't happen until sequel), Wisp may decide to join the Guard. Can't say anything for sure, but while I want her life to be more laidback than that of a guard, I also want more for her than to just hang out around town and jump into action when there's trouble. S&R patrols here aren't so much checking out the whole town, I think, as generally hanging around certain areas more likely to have some sort of trouble.
Like a tavern.
Hue.
Then again, such a place would be obvious spots for guards to be posted. But I haven't read anything yet in the Winningverse that does more than mention gendarmes.
...I think I'm pondering a bit much about undecided story details here in a comment section. lol
Then again, eh.
Anyhow, I've spent the past two hours typing up responses here and editing the story descriptions. I'm gonna try and get back to the writing now. lol
1953285 Actually, you mentioned a guard here: 1953143
Beyond that it is good to hear that you are taking some liberties with Winningverse cannon given that it does some silly things from time to time like Rainbow loosing her canon martial arts training, some of the military nuts and bolts, and the silly noncanon changeling hive mind (we see Rainbow impersonate a changeling at one point during the fight in the show which is obvious evidence that they do not have a hive mind) so he could kill them without consequence.
As for the tavern and guard thoughts, bouncer or private security might be a good third option there. It is more or less the same thing as being a guard, but without the regulations and stuff which is sounding like a good fit to me.
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See, that's the thing. Searchlight is the captain of Ponyville's Search & Rescue department... thing, not a guard. lol
And yes, being a bouncer or some such would be a good fit for Wisp's abilities and the slice-of-life nature of the story (or a considerable majority of it), but her potential as a mage makes that a bit... below her, in a way. Or below her potential. However, that could definitely be a part-time job or something, and a lovely excuse to have her spend more time around Sun's Flank. Indeed...
As for private security... Hm. That, too, is a thought. A good one, lol. Sun's Flank bouncer more likely, though.
...Perhaps you and I should add on Skype. I can only count on Everhopeful being online on weekends right now, and even then that means me staying up past like 5-6 in the morning to get anything beyond a 2-hour-or-so conversation.
Plus, another perspective never hurts, of course. lol
Anyway, as for Winningverse and changelings and stuff. I didn't think of the changeling bit that way, regarding Rainbow. But imo, that's a small enough detail (quite small, indeed) that I find it perfectly fine for an author to decide for their story that changelings are/have a hive mind. Plus, Chrysalis had a personality anyway, so I'm satisfied (enough), in the end. lol
However, that's not how I like to think of changelings. Luckily, though, the whole changeling infiltrator thing gives me exactly what I need to eventually introduce a changeling character~ (without needing to diverge from continuity)
(incidentally, my favorite arc of the entire story revolves around that)
Still, though, indeed. Part of my latching onto the Winningverse continuity is that I love how it fleshes many concepts of Equestrian society and such out, yet maintains a largely close-to-home feel, or close enough. Plus, frankly, it's easier to have stuff like that already there for me to take from, of course. Buuuut if there turns out to be some idea I like enough, or something about the continuity that I don't like enough, then absolutely, I'll bend or break things to my favor.
It wouldn't do to be rigidly confined when the story is more about my characters and ideas than being a Winningverse story. lol
P.S.: I'm writing a Filthy Rich cameo, whee. 'Cuz who doesn't like Filthy Rich? (And who else would rent out homes for reasonable prices for extra profits alongside their main business?)
1953466 PM sent.
As for the rest of this, I am with you on the job, but she does not have to push herself to her limit on the job. She may be happier with a job that sort of uses her talents without being overkill. Besides, given that this is Ponyville, being a bouncer could easily wind up more dangerous than many positions in the guard given how potent some of the residents are and the potential for wildlife wandering in from the forest.
I also agree that most of the issues with explicitly breaking canon are fairly small with the exception of the changelings because it always makes me feel like the author just wants an excuse to kill them with no consequences because s/he is too lazy to deal with the emotional aftermath of killing. I am also not a big fan of the magic love baby thing because I prefer to make as few fundamental divergences from canon and reality as possible so I feel like polygamy is a more reasonable solution to the gender imbalance, although it is really not that big a deal.
Also, if you like world building, I cannot recommend Xenophilia strongly enough. It does have explicit human/pony sex scenes, but the world building is fantastic enough that I loved the story even though I have zero interest in clop.
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When I think of the hivemind thing in that light, yeah, it does seem a little cheap, but eh. I'll not assume anything--and either way, in a given case of changelings (like in Uniformity (that story is fantastic)), it could be some mix of individuality and hive mind. But again, eh, lol. Still, though, the end of the current story will come after the season 2 finale, so if I do anything with changelings beyond that point (besides the character I'm so fond of), they'll be nice, independent-thinking infiltrators. Not really any plans for that right now, though.
As for the magic love babies, I actually rather like that bit. Kinda odd, yeah, but... Well, I could see something like that being a thing in Equestria. But maybe I'm just a sucker for equal-rights-related stuff and giving more power to same-sex couples. lol
And in the case of clop... I'm largely the same. I have no sexual interest in ponies. Or, at the least, not physically. I've liked more than one clop scene in a few stories I've read (usually uploaded separately from the story proper), because they happened to at least involve itself with the emotional connection between the characters, and didn't often explicitly refer to or describe certain bodyparts. With how much I like various characters, I do like to see them showing their sexual side to each other. But if it's an actual clop story/scene focused more or completely on the sexual appeal... Well, I don't read that. lol
So that Xenophilia story... Maybe. I might try it out sometime. But the first story up on my "Read Next" list besides a bunch of romance stories is Sunset of Time, and that comes first. It's about time I look into that one, and get my Favorite Updates count back down to 0 for the first time in ages. lol
However, if you recommend Xenophilia, I highly, highly recommend Uniformity. It also involves humans, puts an interesting spin on Lyra and Bon Bon's relationship (the romantic one), executes it's world building quite well, I would say, the prose is great... Definitely one of my favorites. And there's no clop. lol