Hilarity Ensues · 10:32pm Mar 21st, 2014
All right, I've got a serious gripe with certain story descriptions today. These are the ones that tell us how we're supposed to feel about a story. As expected from the title, these are add-ins such as "Hilarity ensues," or "Madness ensues."
All right. So, let's say I'm browsing FIMFiction and I see a story description of "Applejack's love of apples may have gone too far this time." I then duly note that there's a comedy tag and a romance tag--oh yeah, you bet I'm going to check that story out. Especially if there's a mature-sex tag on it. There's sure to be some sophisticated shipping involving everyone's favorite background pony contained therein.
However, I will not read the story if it says, "Applejack's love of apples may have gone too far this time. Hilarity ensues." No, I will not, officer.
Why? Why, in those two words, do I go from nodding in approval of an interesting story to something that I would never recommend anyone read? Because the author is telling me how to feel about their story in the description.
All right, let's look at this another way: What does it add? It adds two words that re-establish what was already established directly in the tags and should have been made evident in the story description. I'm not expecting to see a story description like, "Immortality is a blessing to some, but a curse to others. Twilight, thankfully, has learned how to join her friends on the other side. The question is, can she take her own life? Hilarity ensues." That may add some modicum of understanding that it's going to be a very dark comedy, but that should, once again, be made evident in the tags, or possibly an explanation from the author after the initial pitch of the story.
So, what does it detract from? It makes me feel like the author finds me to be a simpleton. Not only would I have to disregard the story tags (something I always check), but I would also have to ignore the story description all but completely. It's as if I came into this expecting a tragedy, then, when I'm 2000 words into the story, I find myself laughing and say, "What is wrong with this author? I wasn't expecting to laugh at a story that I ignored the tags and description on. Well, he should have tacked on 'Hilarity ensues,' that way I'd know I'd be reading a comedy."
As if I need to be spoon-fed starting in the description that it's a comedy. It's like those TV shows that have the laugh tracks. I know when something is actually funny, thank you; please, just shut up and let me enjoy my show, fake crowd of laughter. Even the shows that are done in front of a live audience, like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, are really testing my patience. The song is the best part of that show because I can laugh for myself at how silly it is without the laugh track (or even live audience) mandating when I'm allowed to find something funny.
Similarly, for the "Madness ensues" words, it's obvious that in something where Twilight loses a priceless ancient relic of a book, madness is going to ensue. Don't f
ing tell me. I don't care.
Now, spoon-feeding the dumb readers can be understood, seeing the standard caliber of reader attracted to FIMFiction, yes? I'm not saying any of you, my followers, are dumb; quite the contrary, since you're following me. 
I'm just saying that, on my forays into the field of comments on this site, even those who try to posit valid arguments for and against a story typically make no actual points, neither side giving ground ever. Yeah, those kinds of people.
Maybe saying "[insert descriptive word here] ensues" helps those kinds of people. Still, it disinterests me. I can't do it. It just doesn't work for me.
Last little bit here. The biggest part of a story is trying to sell it to someone who may want to read it, provided they will find it interesting. If you, an author, can only think to end your hook for the reader with something flat and boring like, "Hilarity ensues," then, in my mind, that fic is going to become just as flat and boring as those two words. It's going to be one of those fics that tries too hard to make jokes, as if the author is asking the readers consistently, "Is this funny guys? Well, is it? Please tell me it is!" I know what's funny and what's not; if the author thinks I need to have it pointed out to me what's funny, or, even worse, to be told that something is funny, I'm not interested in reading it whatsoever. 
Applejack isn't a background pony ;^;
1944585
Well truthfully, if the description is bad, I usually don't expect the whole fic to be good. plus comedy in fics is always best when its not "winking to the reader" so to speak. I like references, but when they are shoved in my face it really irritates me.
And also i can go into depth on how apple jack is awesome.
1944628
Show me your devotion to Applejack through the creative word.
Yeah... I think I'll be all right with that Applejack x apples shipfic.
Well, I think those authors might not be the shiniest apples in the bunch, and when they see other stories with it in the description they think to themselves 'Hey, that's a really good hook.' Then they add it there own story, other mediocre authors see it, and the problem snowballs until the admins and moderators get unanimously annoyed of it as you are and ban it.
1944726
Description: "Spike gets a little too touchy with Owlewicious. Sexy times ensue."
Admin: "Your story is denied based on the following credentials:
You can't end the description of the story itself with the word 'ensue.'"
New Description: "Spike gets a little too touchy with Owlewicious."
Admin: "Your story is denied based on the following credentials:
Your description is too short. You have to give the readers more than that."
New New Description: "Spike gets a little too touchy with Owlewicious. Sexy times ensue. The end."
Admin: "Your story Spike Does the Nasty with Owlewicious has passed moderation and is now visible on FIMFiction!"
Me: "LUNA CHRIST REALLY GUYS."
I got burned out on "*ity ensues" after about the 6,000th time I'd seen it on Fark. Unless I can torture it into a hitherto-unused version, which I usually can't, I'll go somewhere else for my clichés.
1944806
I went there once and didn't find it very enjoyable.
Well, I'm glad I never frequented Fark, then.
1944599
how could u?
The spoon-feeding is irritating, yes, but I find it far more objectionable for the sheer unimaginativeness of it.
3207096
I mostly interpreted the inclusion of the phrase to indicate some of the subject content of the story. If hilarity ensues, you can expect a comedy; if madness ensues, you can expect a pony acting comically crazy.
Unimaginative, I reserve for something far greater than a throwaway description filler.
lh3.googleusercontent.com/GXDzFlQa9w2-hpGxSV_0YH_OdfsO-HFg3vXYTMFy_9s=w929-h955-no
3207138
That upvote count offends my soul.
3207302
I think that story is my arch-nemesis. It's over 100k words, so there's no way in hell I'm going to do an exhaustive review of that steaming pile of shit, but it simultaneously has an insultingly high number of upvotes. It's as if the story is taunting me to challenge what I already know to be true and see if it really is as shitty as its description implies.
I actually got to review its sequel.
lh3.googleusercontent.com/8iTV31QubKlgpT6jVhic1kIVJJ0GvoLNmD5vLXkNc4k=w942-h917-no
As expected, I was not impressed. For what it's worth, the author seems like an intelligent enough person, and certainly above writing a shitty story for cheap upvotes; I can't express my repugnance at his decision to not only write a 100k-word shitfic, but to create a sequel to that shitfic that carries on the shit. I know he's better than this, but he just... farms upvotes or something. It's depressing.